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-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
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amother
Latte
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 Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:13 pm
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My toddler (#5) never slept from day 1. Finally at around 15 months he started sleeping and he goes down beautifully now at 21m. At a certain point, temperament or not, most babies start to understand that nighttime is sleep time and they don't fight it
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amother
Crystal
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Thu, Aug 01 2024, 8:30 pm
| amother Molasses wrote: | | You needed to start day 1. I do it right away. I put baby down before they show signs of being tired and it creates habits for life. | . Baloney. We did it from day 1 and it worked beautifully till he was 5 weeks and then would very busy like op ks describing font make her feel bad every baby is different
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mushkamothers
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Thu, Aug 01 2024, 9:30 pm
| amother Lemonlime wrote: | | This. Good sleep habits start on the first day you come home from the hospital. Bad habits are hard to break and get harder as they get older |
This whole concept is a lie made up by the sleep training industry.
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missmuffetsmum
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 6:05 am
| amother Molasses wrote: | | You needed to start day 1. I do it right away. I put baby down before they show signs of being tired and it creates habits for life. |
Worked for my toddler, not for my current baby. It's important to understand how baby sleep works, but some babies still won't fall asleep independently.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 6:19 am
| mushkamothers wrote: | | This whole concept is a lie made up by the sleep training industry. |
This.
I nursed my babies to sleep. And I nursed them whenever they needed/wanted.
The times they did sleep longer at night I'd cluster feed then for the first 3 hours.
It wasn't worth it imo.
I nursed all 4 of my babies to sleep. And we bh never had sleep issues related to that. (We had other sleep issues w one of my kids at some point. But they were waaaay past toddlerhood by then)
All 4 of my kids happily and willingly go to bed when it's time to sleep. As babies and as toddlers.
We never made the sleep/bed a boogeyman.
Bed meant nursing, cuddling, rocking, nurturing, singing, and bonding. Bed is the best place to go!
Even if I had a super busy day, bedtime cuddles were sacred. (That's probably why I have such a hard time going out at night. It feels like I'm taking something away from them! Even as they get older.)
I nurse my babies to sleep as long as I nurse them. So between 12 and 23 months....
At some point the older babies/toddlers would not fall asleep from nursing anymore. Or would fall asleep and wake up when I'd put them down. But it wasn't a big deal.
When they were sick, it was hard to put them down becuase they'd cry and want to be comforted. So we did that.
At times, being available and doing right by them is HARD. And staying focused on what a wonderful thing im doing rather than being resentful is gut work. But it's so so so so worth it!!!
Nothing is more important than that imo!
Another important point is reading baby's cues.
Try to be intune as much as possible and go by their cues.
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amother
Tan
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 6:31 am
| amother Aubergine wrote: | This.
I nursed my babies to sleep. And I nursed them whenever they needed/wanted.
The times they did sleep longer at night I'd cluster feed then for the first 3 hours.
It wasn't worth it imo.
I nursed all 4 of my babies to sleep. And we bh never had sleep issues related to that. (We had other sleep issues w one of my kids at some point. But they were waaaay past toddlerhood by then)
All 4 of my kids happily and willingly go to bed when it's time to sleep. As babies and as toddlers.
We never made the sleep/bed a boogeyman.
Bed meant nursing, cuddling, rocking, nurturing, singing, and bonding. Bed is the best place to go!
Even if I had a super busy day, bedtime cuddles were sacred. (That's probably why I have such a hard time going out at night. It feels like I'm taking something away from them! Even as they get older.)
I nurse my babies to sleep as long as I nurse them. So between 12 and 23 months....
At some point the older babies/toddlers would not fall asleep from nursing anymore. Or would fall asleep and wake up when I'd put them down. But it wasn't a big deal.
When they were sick, it was hard to put them down becuase they'd cry and want to be comforted. So we did that.
At times, being available and doing right by them is HARD. And staying focused on what a wonderful thing im doing rather than being resentful is gut work. But it's so so so so worth it!!!
Nothing is more important than that imo!
Another important point is reading baby's cues.
Try to be intune as much as possible and go by their cues. |
I'm curious what kind of gaps you have between your kids? I've got 4 kids and the oldest is 5, I don't see how the above could possibly work for a family like mine?
And what about those who don't breastfeed? All of mine dropped nursing between 6weeks-7months.
I'm genuinely curious, not being cynical at all!
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 6:57 am
| amother Aubergine wrote: | This.
I nursed my babies to sleep. And I nursed them whenever they needed/wanted.
The times they did sleep longer at night I'd cluster feed then for the first 3 hours.
It wasn't worth it imo.
I nursed all 4 of my babies to sleep. And we bh never had sleep issues related to that. (We had other sleep issues w one of my kids at some point. But they were waaaay past toddlerhood by then)
All 4 of my kids happily and willingly go to bed when it's time to sleep. As babies and as toddlers.
We never made the sleep/bed a boogeyman.
Bed meant nursing, cuddling, rocking, nurturing, singing, and bonding. Bed is the best place to go!
Even if I had a super busy day, bedtime cuddles were sacred. (That's probably why I have such a hard time going out at night. It feels like I'm taking something away from them! Even as they get older.)
I nurse my babies to sleep as long as I nurse them. So between 12 and 23 months....
At some point the older babies/toddlers would not fall asleep from nursing anymore. Or would fall asleep and wake up when I'd put them down. But it wasn't a big deal.
When they were sick, it was hard to put them down becuase they'd cry and want to be comforted. So we did that.
At times, being available and doing right by them is HARD. And staying focused on what a wonderful thing im doing rather than being resentful is gut work. But it's so so so so worth it!!!
Nothing is more important than that imo!
Another important point is reading baby's cues.
Try to be intune as much as possible and go by their cues. |
I agree nothing is as important. I do the same with my babies. They all sleep well long term and sleep isn’t a bad thing. Nursing to sleep is amazing for babies.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 6:58 am
| amother Tan wrote: | I'm curious what kind of gaps you have between your kids? I've got 4 kids and the oldest is 5, I don't see how the above could possibly work for a family like mine?
And what about those who don't breastfeed? All of mine dropped nursing between 6weeks-7months.
I'm genuinely curious, not being cynical at all! |
My gaps are 2 years between each child.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:08 am
| mushkamothers wrote: | | This whole concept is a lie made up by the sleep training industry. |
we’re not taking about sleep training and we’re not talking about sleeping through the night. we’re talking about teaching babies to fall asleep on their own which I 10000% believe is taught and that teaching begins on day 1.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:12 am
| amother Lemonlime wrote: | | we’re not taking about sleep training and we’re not talking about sleeping through the night. we’re talking about teaching babies to fall asleep on their own which I 10000% believe is taught and that teaching begins on day 1. |
Ya but isn’t it rly hard from day one when newborns are extremely extremely sleepy and will by default fall asleep from nursing/bottle most likely? Like kinda hard to catch their sleepy cues as a real newborn.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:16 am
| amother Honeydew wrote: | | Ya but isn’t it rly hard from day one when newborns are extremely extremely sleepy and will by default fall asleep from nursing/bottle most likely? Like kinda hard to catch their sleepy cues as a real newborn. |
It’s natural for a newborn to fall asleep on the breast. No reason to stop that. That’s what they should be doing.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:17 am
Don’t feel regret. I’ve had 8 babies and they are so different. Just like not every 15 year old needs the same summer plans, not every baby can follow the same book or even any book at all.
For my babies who was the most “clingy” sleeper, I would put him in his bed sleepy but awake, have him cry 2 minutes with you sitting right there but just no eye contact, then pick him up and soothe again until calm and then put back down repeatedly.
It’s a hard method emotionally but I think it was the most gentle way for the baby. The first few night my baby ended up falling asleep in my arms but then eventually the crying stopped and he was falling asleep in his bed as long as I stayed in the room (NO eye contact).
After 2 months of doing this I started leaving the room before he fell asleep. If he cried I came right back and soothed put down etc. but eventually he became ok with me leaving after just afew mins of sitting with him.
Though still hel have his day when he still doesn’t want me to leave and that’s ok. He’s a person. He can have an off day.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:21 am
| amother Honeydew wrote: | | Ya but isn’t it rly hard from day one when newborns are extremely extremely sleepy and will by default fall asleep from nursing/bottle most likely? Like kinda hard to catch their sleepy cues as a real newborn. |
that’s not what I mean. I mean by starting a ‘routine’ so baby learns our sleep cures: feeding in a dark, quiet space so baby is clued in that it’s time to sleep. it’s putting the baby to sleep wherever he sleeps. It’s not sleep training it’s just establishing good sleep habits .
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:22 am
| amother Coffee wrote: | | It’s natural for a newborn to fall asleep on the breast. No reason to stop that. That’s what they should be doing. |
Right I know that. So how would one teach from day one if newborns always fall asleep with feeding?
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:28 am
| amother Lemonlime wrote: | | that’s not what I mean. I mean by starting a ‘routine’ so baby learns our sleep cures: feeding in a dark, quiet space so baby is clued in that it’s time to sleep. it’s putting the baby to sleep wherever he sleeps. It’s not sleep training it’s just establishing good sleep habits . |
Wouldn’t feeding in a dark space make the baby associate sleep with feeding?
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:36 am
| amother Powderblue wrote: | Don’t feel regret. I’ve had 8 babies and they are so different. Just like not every 15 year old needs the same summer plans, not every baby can follow the same book or even any book at all.
For my babies who was the most “clingy” sleeper, I would put him in his bed sleepy but awake, have him cry 2 minutes with you sitting right there but just no eye contact, then pick him up and soothe again until calm and then put back down repeatedly.
It’s a hard method emotionally but I think it was the most gentle way for the baby. The first few night my baby ended up falling asleep in my arms but then eventually the crying stopped and he was falling asleep in his bed as long as I stayed in the room (NO eye contact).
After 2 months of doing this I started leaving the room before he fell asleep. If he cried I came right back and soothed put down etc. but eventually he became ok with me leaving after just afew mins of sitting with him.
Though still hel have his day when he still doesn’t want me to leave and that’s ok. He’s a person. He can have an off day. |
Just nurse baby to sleep. This is really hard for baby.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:39 am
| amother Lemonlime wrote: | | that’s not what I mean. I mean by starting a ‘routine’ so baby learns our sleep cures: feeding in a dark, quiet space so baby is clued in that it’s time to sleep. it’s putting the baby to sleep wherever he sleeps. It’s not sleep training it’s just establishing good sleep habits . |
Establish healthy sleep habits such as by nighttime you nurse them to sleep in a dark room and when they wake up you try not to stimulate them too much, you can start from infancy.
But no sleep training or any other behavioral methods. When baby wakes up in the night you nurse them and take care of what they need and try to get them back to sleep.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:40 am
| amother Honeydew wrote: | | Right I know that. So how would one teach from day one if newborns always fall asleep with feeding? |
You don’t need to teach them. Let them fall asleep on the breast. It’s amazing for them and they are biologically wired to do so.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:03 am
| amother Coffee wrote: | | You don’t need to teach them. Let them fall asleep on the breast. It’s amazing for them and they are biologically wired to do so. |
Right I know that. My baby always fell asleep nursing etc. but I was just responding to the poster who said to create habits from day one I thought she meant falling asleep by themselves (which I said was naturally not possible). But she clarified just overall good habits.
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tichellady
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Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:03 am
| amother Molasses wrote: | | You needed to start day 1. I do it right away. I put baby down before they show signs of being tired and it creates habits for life. |
I think is a crazy expectation for a newborn baby and a postpartum mother. Good for you that it worked but no one should feel and that they couldn’t implement gentle sleep training on a newborn
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