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How much is an average wedding?
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amother
Saddlebrown  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:48 am
amother Fern wrote:
5000 for gowns is basic?? Fam of 8 means max 7 gowns.

I'm assuming this includes the kallahs gown, that can be expensive.
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amother
  SandyBrown


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:48 am
amother Fern wrote:
5000 for gowns is basic?? Fam of 8 means max 7 gowns.

$5,000 for 7 gowns, including mom & kallah) is not that expensive.
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amother
  Raspberry  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:51 am
amother Fern wrote:
5000 for gowns is basic?? Fam of 8 means max 7 gowns.


Including a kallahs gown, If it’s not from a Gemach then it’s not crazy unfortunately. Yes I could have gone cheaper, but not by much.

Basic was the wedding hall. Nice simple hall, no takanah.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:51 am
amother DarkGray wrote:
Yes, I think this is accurate except for a very bare bones event or a very small guest list. Flowers/decor, photo, and music are at least $10k each unless you are doing candles on the table,fabric only chuppah, one man band, and one shooter low end photographer. Venue costs are 7-15K and up. Food at the absolute lowest end is $75pp and goes way up from there. Gowns at a low end Gemach are $500 for bride and a few hundred each for others (of course, you could borrow.) Hair and makeup adds several hundred to thousand (or you could do your own or ask a friend.) Honestly, I’m all for a backyard bbq for 50 of closest family and friends in a borrowed gown, but that is unpopular . However, I have made a number of lovely but costly simchas and these numbers reflect my experience.


Most people I know ( in town ny chassidish) do one man band or dj, silk flowers, chupah provided by the hall etc. I wouldn't call that bare bones
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amother
Cappuccino


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:57 am
If we can all ( or at least almost everyone) stop using the extremely overpriced makeup artists and hair stylists, more of them would keep their prices reasonable. Same with gowns. We are feeding the high prices by being willing to pay them!!
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amother
  Raspberry  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:58 am
amother SandyBrown wrote:
Wedding hall was 27K per side? Or total cost? (27K per side is exorbitant.)


Total cost, which we paid. Boys side paid FLOP

Flowers, liquor, Orchestra, photographer
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:04 am
Ok, I guess the next question is where do "average" people get the money from? I see every other day posters here commenting about how they are squeezed financially.

Where are these (the majority of us?) supposed to come up with 60k-75k to make a wedding? And hopefully many weddings.

It seems a little scary to be middle age and start borrowing and refinancing and taking out loans. We are at an age where we want to be paying our loans down, not starting new ones. Is that what people do?
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amother
  Raspberry  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:05 am
amother Fern wrote:
5000 for gowns is basic?? Fam of 8 means max 7 gowns.
Either way this total is less than 60 000 Which is not 75,000 and chynka is a nicer hall compared to some of those in Brooklyn.


This was my original budget. I think after all was said and done, I probably spent another 5-7k (gifts for chosson, clothing for kallah, ended up costing more)
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amother
  Raspberry  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:06 am
amother OP wrote:
Ok, I guess the next question is where do "average" people get the money from? I see every other day posters here commenting about how they are squeezed financially.

Where are these (the majority of us?) supposed to come up with 60k-75k to make a wedding? And hopefully many weddings.

It seems a little scary to be middle age and start borrowing and refinancing and taking out loans. We are at an age where we want to be paying our loans down, not starting new ones. Is that what people do?


Unless you’re wealthy, then yes.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:07 am
Even divided by two this is huge. Many people don't qualify for a loan either.
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amother
  Fern  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:13 am
Ok. So can you explain to me how people who just 2 years before were complaining that they can't pay tuition can suddenly come up with this amount of money? They manage to put it on credit cards & figure it out, but the extra $2-5,000 a year in tuition? Oh no.
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amother
  Diamond  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:18 am
amother OP wrote:
Ok, I guess the next question is where do "average" people get the money from? I see every other day posters here commenting about how they are squeezed financially.

Where are these (the majority of us?) supposed to come up with 60k-75k to make a wedding? And hopefully many weddings.

It seems a little scary to be middle age and start borrowing and refinancing and taking out loans. We are at an age where we want to be paying our loans down, not starting new ones. Is that what people do?


I think the better question is why are people on insisting on spending way above their means? You said basic but then you say, well I don't mean takanah hall. Someone else says basic but they're not getting gowns from a gemach. Basic I would think is the starting price without adding extras.

So why are we adding on these basics and then wondering/complaingn about why expenses get so high?
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amother
  OP


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:19 am
amother Diamond wrote:
I think the better question is why are people on insisting on spending way above their means? You said basic but then you say, well I don't mean takanah hall. Someone else says basic but they're not getting gowns from a gemach. Basic I would think is the starting price without adding extras.

So why are we adding on these basics and then wondering/complaingn about why expenses get so high?



Are the Takana halls in Lakewood? I don't live near Lakewood and neither do the people we'd invite. I would love to make everyone shlep to Lakewood and save money. I don't think it's fair and some people wouldn't come.
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amother
Cyclamen


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:21 am
We had a takana night simple menu, no Flowers 16k and
Added an open bar
photography 2k /music 2.5 -3k
Hair/makeup was 150 a person
gowns, (shoes I had) from Gemach have donation towards cleaning afterwards. I think it was 25k all together.

(Just spent on setting up the apartment and living expenses)

Everyone had a great time, we didn’t need to impress or make our parents spend more.
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amother
  Saddlebrown  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:22 am
amother Fern wrote:
Ok. So can you explain to me how people who just 2 years before were complaining that they can't pay tuition can suddenly come up with this amount of money? They manage to put it on credit cards & figure it out, but the extra $2-5,000 a year in tuition? Oh no.

I don't know about you, but my tuition bill is a LOT more than a wedding. Full tuition - around 80k a year or more. I recently made a wedding and we spent approximately $30,000 altogether and it was a very nice wedding.

Tuition is WAY more.
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amother
  Diamond  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:23 am
amother OP wrote:
Are the Takana halls in Lakewood? I don't live near Lakewood and neither do the people we'd invite. I would love to make everyone shlep to Lakewood and save money. I don't think it's fair and some people wouldn't come.


You said by basic you meamt non-takanahhall in Brooklyn.

The numbers I quoted were for a hall in Baltimore, not Lakewood.

But if you're talking Brooklyn, why not start by looking at the cost of takanah halls to see where numbers really start.
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amother
  Saddlebrown  


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:24 am
amother OP wrote:
Are the Takana halls in Lakewood? I don't live near Lakewood and neither do the people we'd invite. I would love to make everyone shlep to Lakewood and save money. I don't think it's fair and some people wouldn't come.

Monsey, Brooklyn and Lakewood.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:30 am
We made a wedding very recently in Lakewood. I do think Lakewood has options aimed at cutting expenses that make it much easier than other cities, if you are looking to really save money.
We spent about $1000 total on gowns (including cleaning and alterations), including the Kallah, myself, and two sisters. This can be done when you have the availability of Gemachs and lower-cost rentals (and you are willing to avail yourself of them).
Our share of the wedding cost itself (takanah) was around 14K.
I probably spent somewhere in the mid 50K for the wedding, total.
We had put away some savings over the years for the weddings (we BH made two this year), and we got some help from family, and took a loan for the rest.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:47 am
amother Cappuccino wrote:
If we can all ( or at least almost everyone) stop using the extremely overpriced makeup artists and hair stylists, more of them would keep their prices reasonable. Same with gowns. We are feeding the high prices by being willing to pay them!!


My dc is getting married soon.

For years we have been using a non Jewish person for hair and makeup. We came up with a price for the day. It's significantly cheaper than a jewish person.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:48 am
Wedding hall $25,000
Music $2200
Photographer plus video $8000
Badchan $2200
Hair $700
Chosson classes $2000
Flowers $6000
Make up $1000
Shadchan $2500
Jewelry gifts $19,000
Other gifts $1400 ( evening bag, bday gift, other gifts)
Gowns for the kids and adult $6000 depending on how many kids and if mom has one sewn up etc. even rentals for moms are $2500 on average
Aufruf kiddish for ladies and men plus 2 meals $12000

This is average boys side none takanes. The wedding night itself gets split with the other side
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