Baby born with extra digit

DallasIma

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 12:48 pm

I once saw a man who had all webbed fingers, all joined together so he couldn't use them individually. Poor man, but he seemed to have adapted to his condition (because what choice was there?). Ever since then, I've tried to remember to thank G-d for all of my 10 fully functional fingers (and 10 fully functional toes).

amother

↑ Slateblue ↓

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 12:55 pm

DallasIma wrote:

I'm assuming it was an older man, because nowadays they do surgery to separate the fingers.

And please DO NOT refer to him as "poor man." He is not a "nebach case" and he does not need or want your pity. I'm certain he has adapted, as all people with hand deformities adapt beautifully. I know of children missing entire arms who are fully independent.

All I can say is, if anyone dares refer to my amazing capable rockstar child as "poor girl" because she is missing three fingers...you do not want to he around for my reaction

It's so frustrating because like I said before, missing fingers does not affect her life at all. What DOES affect her is everyone else's reactions...the stares, the comments, the "poor you," the misplaced and unnecessary pity

amother

↑ Brunette

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 3:17 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

I'm laughing at this thread and how OP is freaking out over an extra digit....my child was born missing some digits. That is alot worse than extra digits because there really isnt much to do. An extra digit is removed in a simple surgery. But either way my child is fine BH and very capable and independent and it doesn't affect her life at all

To the NICU nurse who says it runs in families...please do not make such generalizations. There are many kinds of limb deformities, and while some have a genetic component, many do not. Like my child's condition is not genetic at all, it is caused by a temporary obstruction of blood flow in the early weeks of pregnancy, which prevents the full development of the limb.

OP, I'm not sure why you are stressing out so much that your baby has it. Firstly you would see it on ultrasound. Secondly there are infinite things that can be wrong with a baby and it is pointless to worry that any of those may happen

I want to clarify that I said that polydactyly tends to run in families. This is in a completely different category than other limb deformities.

amother

Azure

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 3:51 pm

It is true that extra digits run in families. Usually more dominant in males and can effect fingers or toes. My husband was born with an extra finger which was removed as a baby. My son was born with an extra toe which was removed as a baby as well. It will show up on ultrasound when pregnant.

amother

↑ Slateblue ↓

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 4:15 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

I want to clarify that I said that polydactyly tends to run in families. This is in a completely different category than other limb deformities.

I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, I guess I read to your post to mean that hand deformities in general run in families. I don't know much about polydactyly cuz like I said we have the opposite situation 😀

amother

↑ Slateblue ↓

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 4:18 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

I have a student that was born without one entire hand. Her arm ends in a stump. She is the most talented, brilliant, capable, motivated student. She has my greatest admiration.

Exactly! Thanks for posting!

These children do not suffer because of their deformities. They are totally fine without ten fingers. They suffer because society does not know how to deal with anything slightly different. They suffer because they are referred to as the "poor nebach case." They suffer because they are stared at.

Its funny, whenever I mention to anyone that my child has 7 fingers, a look of horror crosses their face and they're like "omg is she she ok." and I'm like yeah of course why woudn't she be.

amother

Coral

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 8:55 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

These children do not suffer because of their deformities. They are totally fine without ten fingers. They suffer because society does not know how to deal with anything slightly different. They suffer because they are referred to as the "poor nebach case." They suffer because they are stared at.

Yes! This is what I always say! (Not in reference to extra or missing digits, but in general), the biggest nisayon of any situation is dealing with everyone's NEBBACH comments and looks

amother

Goldenrod ↓

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:35 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

If you don't mind me asking: did you have an amniotic band - like a string attached to both sides of the inside of the sac? This band, in pregnancies, can wind around a limb/limbs of the fetus and slowly cut off the blood flow to that limb and eventually the limb falls off, r'l.
In one of my pregnancies there was an amniotic band in the sac. I had to have an ultrasound every week. By one u/s I was told the fetus is "playing jump rope" b/c the band was entwined around the fingers of one hand. I can say I was pretty nervous.
Miracles of miracles, Hodu L'Hashem, my sweet baby was born completely whole with no limb missing.

May Hashem Protect all Klal Yisrael.

↑ anonymrs

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:48 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

No my child does not have any syndromes BH. It is just an isolated unilateral limb deformity that is not due to any syndrome/genetic cause. It is because of a constriction of blood flow during the early weeks of gestation which prevents the full development of the limb.

I do have a lot of experience with hand deformities because of this, so I can still PM you if you want

Can you please? Thanx!

amother

↑ Slateblue

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:51 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

No it was not amniotic band syndrome. The name of my child's condition is symbrachydactyly, but it is often confused with/misdiagnosed as amniotic band

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 10:17 pm

I remember a girl once wrote a story in the teen pages (I think later there was also an article in Mishpacha lifelines from the parent's perspective?) about her missing fingers in such a positive, humorous and fun way. I give lots of credit to her parents for obviously instilling that awesome confidence in her and celebrating her for the wonderful person she is.

Stateblue, your posts reminded me of that awesome article.

amother

Jade

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 10:46 pm

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

Yes! This is what I always say! (Not in reference to extra or missing digits, but in general), the biggest nisayon of any situation is dealing with everyone's NEBBACH comments and looks

Well said, Thank you for pointing this out.
I once wrote an article in a public magazine about an obvious nisoyon we're going through. I stressed this very statement very much, worse than the Nisyonos we go through are the insensitive comments people say and making us feel like a Rachmunas case.
Hashem gives the strength to go through our challenges, but the comments is what stings most.

That being said, when we had one of our special needs children, someone came to the hospital to give us chizuk. He asked: "How is it possible that people are depressed, have strokes and heart attacks, when it says that Hashem only gives challenges that we can handle?"
Because Hashem gives us strength to handle the moment! When you live minute by minute, you can handle it. But when you start thinking how you will be able to handle it or manage tomorrow and later on, thats when you break under.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Jan 07 2021, 11:59 pm

my daughter was born with 2 of her fingers in her feet by each one is attached I remember crying in hospital that I want to do surgery right away dr told me to wait she is 7 still has it I laugh at myself now why it bothered me so much im going to wait until she is older & let her decide if she wants to separate it or not .