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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
YK just ended and I'm already over on an issur.
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hila




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 2:12 am
Quote:
Well, the minute Yom Kippur is over, we daven maariv, and in the shmoneh esrai, we say s'lach lonu, when we were just forgiven for our sins, you'd think we have nothing to day it for yet? I once heard an explanation for this, and will try to post it if I can find it out from someone.


My dh told me that it is because peopel are talking about teh chazzan " I didnt like the tune for xxx, " or "soandso is a much better chazzan than teh one we had for Neila" , so we already have what to be forgiven for
shock
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shalhevet  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 3:40 am
OP, if you're so miserable about a bdieved midrabbonon, I'm sure you're doing just fine.
We can do teshuva today too, you know.
Charata- regret- sounds like you already have.
Vidui - to stand up and say 'I sinned by doing xyz'
Azivas Haches - deciding not to do that sin any more - also sounds like you're already there.

That's the miracle of teshuva - do that and your sin is gone (apart from, like everyone above, it sounds like it was close to ones).

May Hashem give you a wonderful year and a gmar tov.
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mimivan  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 4:04 am
If dh told you the wrong thing, isn't it his problem and not yours?? I thought that was how it worked.
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  amother  


 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 6:25 am
well if you were misinformed I think this is considered a shogeg (mistake). so take it too hard.
my husband was getting undressed on Yom Kippur night and tripped and knocked into our bedroom light switch and turned on the light (on YK!) and he was so upset about it! couldn't stop talking about it... but I told him he didn't do it on purpose and Hashem obviously knows that...
I think it's important that we do what's right when it's in our control and not obsess over the accidents...
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  amother  


 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 6:48 am
Well, bash me if you will...
I am a nursing mother and believe me, I drank before I heard havdalah because I couldn't wait that extra 30 minutes or so till dh came home from shul and don't make my own havdalah. I waited 3 mins after the time YK ended, made boruch hamavdil and drank and drank and drank. It was difficult enough as it was.
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  shalhevet  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 6:52 am
amother wrote:
Well, bash me if you will...
I am a nursing mother and believe me, I drank before I heard havdalah because I couldn't wait that extra 30 minutes or so till dh came home from shul and don't make my own havdalah. I waited 3 mins after the time YK ended, made boruch hamavdil and drank and drank and drank. It was difficult enough as it was.


You are allowed to drink water before havdalla (any week, including YK).

What do you mean, you 'don't make your own havdala'? Halacha tells you when you should and when you shouldn't. If you're in a situation that you should be making your own (or kiddush either) then that's what you do.
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  amother  


 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 6:59 am
amother re drinking here

I actually drank Coke, and lots of it because a) I was extremely weak and needed the sugar (I don't fast well at the best of times and nursingmakes things tougher) and b) it helps bring in milk.

I've just never made my own havdalah....
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  shalhevet  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 7:16 am
amother wrote:


I've just never made my own havdalah....


Always a first time Wink
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chocolate moose  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 8:53 am
I know plenty of wome whose husbands come home crazy late all the time, and frm the get-go they were shown what and how to do certain th ings - kiddush, havdaleh, etc.

Amother, I know it might be embarrasing or not come naturally to you, but making Havdaleh for yourself is not that hard. And anyway, you'll hear your husband's when he comes home.

You need grape juice or whatever else you deem fit to drink, and a siddur. You don't have to do ner and besomin and everything.

Pity there's no You Tube video for this.
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  amother


 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 8:59 am
I know how to make havdala. I used to make it when I was single, every week. However, Dh would like me to wait for him. I just didn't know I should have made it yesterday...
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  chocolate moose  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 9:06 am
Amother, do you have little kids at home? Otherwise you could hear Havadaleh in shul after maariv.
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  greenfire  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 9:07 am
hey bsomim is especially helpful after yom kippur ... so they say ...
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  mimivan  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 9:34 am
shalhevet wrote:
amother wrote:
Well, bash me if you will...
I am a nursing mother and believe me, I drank before I heard havdalah because I couldn't wait that extra 30 minutes or so till dh came home from shul and don't make my own havdalah. I waited 3 mins after the time YK ended, made boruch hamavdil and drank and drank and drank. It was difficult enough as it was.


You are allowed to drink water before havdalla (any week, including YK).
What do you mean, you 'don't make your own havdala'? Halacha tells you when you should and when you shouldn't. If you're in a situation that you should be making your own (or kiddush either) then that's what you do.


That's good to know!
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  chocolate moose  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 9:54 am
Hate to burst your bubble, Mimivan, but the Alte Rebbe doesn't hold that way.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 10:06 am
In my shul some people started eating before the havdalla, and the community head yelled at them not to do that.
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  greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 10:07 am
chocolate moose wrote:
Hate to burst your bubble, Mimivan, but the Alte Rebbe doesn't hold that way.


not everybody is lubavitch ... just sayin ...
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  chocolate moose  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 12:29 pm
right, greeny..but SHE is!
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southernbubby  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 12:46 pm
I had also been told that it was acceptable to drink before havdalah. I thought that Chabad held that way.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 1:07 pm
Attn Lubavitchers. We do not drink before havdalah. That's made clear in the Hayom Yom. It says: "Not even water."
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  chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2007, 1:21 pm
Plenty of Litvishe hold that way too.
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