me!!! over protective, couldnt' be LOL

↑ BasHashem ↓

Fri, Feb 25 2005, 1:10 pm

in montreal we have a bus service the goes to new york for frum ppl. it stops in monsey boro park ,and crown heights.

One of the main reasons I didnt want my son to go with the bochur, whom I did not know, was because I didnt know him. Young ppl (and he may be an adult, but I was thinking like a parent) dont have the same judgment and expereince as an older adult, also the fact the the car was going to full of young boys, I felt it might get out of controol, and maybe the drivers concentration will not be so focused.

Anyways he took the bus, he got there safely bh, and he has gotten over he being upset, he did tell me before he left that he understood me, but thought I needed to lighten up a bit.

Have a good shabbos
Bassie

secretsmile

Mon, Feb 28 2005, 3:31 pm

After reading everyones post's, and everything ended well.....We all have to do what's best for our families and what we feel is right. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. I, my self would choose the jewish bus..but in the end G-d is in charge regaurding something going wrong. g-d forbid.

miriam

Sun, Mar 06 2005, 1:45 am

Bassie, you did a great job. You are also doing a great job raising your son. The situation really went well. It can be hard to stand up for what we belive in. It really important to know when and when not to compromise.

↑ BasHashem ↓

Sun, Mar 06 2005, 9:17 am

Thank Miriam,

Sometimes it is hard to stand my ground. I want my kids to like me.

My favorite expression goes like this. (When my kids want something, and I feel it's not shiach, maybe dangerous or not reasonable, I tell them)

Better you should cry, than I should cry!
happy parenting.
BasHashem

ZIVA

Thu, Apr 07 2005, 8:11 pm

dear bashashem its my first time on this site and yours is the first message I have read I too have a 15 year old son and also a 19 year old son who is quite responsible and drives very well however I would never let either of them go on a 6 hour drive and certainly not in the snow and ice but the main thing that would worry me is the other teenagers all going together we were all teenagers once can you not remember how you behaved when there was a bunch of you together with no adult supervision for any length of time and as for him stomping around the house yelling,,, yes thats very scary and noisy and awful and normal, and yes you do feel bad for him, but honestly he really knows that you are only doing it because you love him and he will appreciate it and tell you one day! he probably appreciates it already but hes just focused right now on what terrific fun hes missing out on and another thing as I tell my 19 year old when I dont want him driving in some situations "do you know why the insurance companies charge you triple what they charge an adult,?? its because they are not stupid they have years of experiance and they know that howevery mature and responsible you might be you are still a silly little teenager who is not going to make the correct judgements most of the time!"

chen

Sun, Oct 30 2005, 3:32 am

Ziva, you are so right about the effect of a group of teens together. together they will do stupid things they might not do on their own.

Bashashem, so glad it all worked out. you were not being overprotective at all--as ziva says, there's a reason why insurance companies charge such high rates for young men. of course there are no guarantees no matter who is driving, but the fact is that young men have poorer judgment and are more prone to risk-taking than other demographic groups. and single young men are the worst of all.

I love the line about better you should cry than I should cry. gonna add that one to my repertoire!

shanie5

Sun, Oct 30 2005, 11:26 am

my son is 18 1/2 and has been driving since he turned 16. he is an excellent driver. I would never let him drive a bunch of boys for a long distance, cuz no matter how responsible and trustworthy he is,he is still a kid. the same goes for the 20 yr old. especially if u dont know him. bashashem-u did good on that one!