Just to clarify the Lubavitcher Rebbe held that his chassidim only wear sheitels out of the house and suggested that people have 2, either one for shabbos and one for weekday or one to wear while the other gets washed. Having 2 sheitels is not a specific hora'ah of the Rebbe I.e. a chabad woman who has one is not doing anything less or CV wrong.
Mam bear, I absolutely take my kids on errands. When I work full time I can either do my errands at night or on weekends. So either we grocery shopping at 9 pm without kids or weekends with kids.
Pickle lady, I have 3 kids. But your older kids shouldn't make too much of a mess. 75% of the post meal mess is my 22 month old.
Today I went to boro park to a dusty, musty furniture warehouse to choose new (discount) chairs for our new palace. I couldnt do that if my kids were with me. Then I got back, famished and exhausted, and met my sister for lunch. Picked up my 6 yr old from cheder, bought him shoes, returned him to cheder, and made the rounds of four different stores for some househokd essentials. Then it was time to pick up the 3 yr old... I arrived home 5 1/2 hours after I left, starved and exhausted. All ina day's work... Working mothers don't take their kids to work either :-D
We all have to run around and do those errands. We all need to buy furniture and shoes. I assume that most working mothers actually have to take their kids with them, or leave them with the dh - since working women run these errands in the evenings (or on Sundays, if they are in the US) - when kids are home.
Actually your day sounds like fun. Shopping for furniture, meeting your sister for lunch.
Today I went to boro park to a dusty, musty furniture warehouse to choose new (discount) chairs for our new palace. I couldnt do that if my kids were with me. Then I got back, famished and exhausted, and met my sister for lunch. Picked up my 6 yr old from cheder, bought him shoes, returned him to cheder, and made the rounds of four different stores for some househokd essentials. Then it was time to pick up the 3 yr old... I arrived home 5 1/2 hours after I left, starved and exhausted. All ina day's work... Working mothers don't take their kids to work either :-D
We all have to run around and do those errands. We all need to buy furniture and shoes. I assume that most working mothers actually have to take their kids with them, or leave them with the dh - since working women run these errands in the evenings (or on Sundays, if they are in the US) - when kids are home.
Actually your day sounds like fun. Shopping for furniture, meeting your sister for lunch.
No, don't you know. Working mothers get to go out and shop for necessities for 5-1/2 hours during work. And our kids' shoes magically appear on their feet without ever taking them to the shoe store.
Pickle lady, I have 3 kids. But your older kids shouldn't make too much of a mess. 75% of the post meal mess is my 22 month old.
Breakdown of why I need to clean during the day.
My still newly potty trained son usually misses the toilet. So a wiping of pee off the floor needs to be done a few times a day. Also his brothers have poor aim in the morning too.
My kids pour something to drink for themselves every morning and after school. Atleast 2 kids spill on the floor while pouring and atleast one spill on the table that goes on the floor too. My 3 year old also pours for himself during the day and often spills too. I encourage them to clean it up so they use alot of paper towels.
Then we have meal times in which only the 2 smaller ones are around for breakfast and lunch. Dinner is all of the kids. Only my oldest thats 8 doesn't really make a mess but the 4 other ones do.
Then there is the usual ice pop that comes with my oldest kids off the bus dripping on the floor as they walk in. More clean-up.
Yes I do encourage them to clean-up most of these spills and they would use more paper towels than me but they need to learn.
Thats why 8 paper towels would never ever cut it. I guess I have messy kids, but I love them.
LOL OK. We use towels for most spills and paper towels only for wiping down.
I often leave a towel on the kitchen floor (unless its a sticky drink, but my kids drink water or seltzer usually) so we just use the floor towel for wiping up.
But I do understand compounded mess - 4 kids don't make twice the mess of 2 kids, but exponentially more.
People who like to criticize Chassidim won't stop just because you've reminded them that no one asked them, not to give a penny and not to become a Chossid. They just don't like Chassidim and will give their opinion six zillion times because that's how worth it is is to bash Chassidim. Because there are just so many things Chassidim do wrong. And don't you know, Chassidim don't even take showers. Not even in the three weeks for Ahavas Yisroel's sake.
Um, I grew up in Monsey and my family always got solicited from Chassidim.
Were they collecting for their moised? Most chassidishe meshulachim are collecting for themselves/their family. Chassidishe mosdos generally have their own נגידים who give financial support.
Both I think. I'll double check with my mother, but she's out of town at the moment.
today, some kids came round to my mothers house selling raffle tickets. I bought one, afterwards realising that it was in aid of satmar summer camp.
Both of my kids are bh very active and high maintenance and I cant take them along to places like dust furniture warehouses. These places are closed by the time dh is home from work. As I stated many times before, my job as a sahm is to keep my home running and the kids taken care of. Furniture shopping was my job for today. And no, I didnt really enjoy it, it was very tiring. I despise traveling, esp by boro park bus...
Both of my kids are bh very active and high maintenance and I cant take them along to places like dust furniture warehouses. These places are closed by the time dh is home from work. As I stated many times before, my job as a sahm is to keep my home running and the kids taken care of. Furniture shopping was my job for today. And no, I didnt really enjoy it, it was very tiring. I despise traveling, esp by boro park bus...
I understand - I was just responding to your earlier comment that working women don't take their kids to work, as though furniture shopping and shoe shopping are solely a SAHM's job. A working mother also has to keep 'her home running' and do all these things.
I have been approached to help older elementary and highschool kids go to camp. In every single case there was extenuating circumstances. Neither I, nor anyone I know, has ever been approached to sponsor camp for young elementary school kids who come from regular families where the mothers are just too lazy to care for them. So who exactly are the ppl who send to camp on the communities dime, when they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.
Thank you imaonwheels. It seems like we agree, or am I too confused to understand?!? lol
I'm just wondering why no one is disagreeing with your post. Maybe because you are just the right poster. Brooklyn born, raised and married then divorced, currently living in Israel, chabbad--so not really chasseeeeeedish, and a good tongue.....
Thank you imaonwheels. It seems like we agree, or am I too confused to understand?!? lol
I'm just wondering why no one is disagreeing with your post. Maybe because you are just the right poster. Brooklyn born, raised and married then divorced, currently living in Israel, chabbad--so not really chasseeeeeedish, and a good tongue.....
I know nothing about imaonwheels' background, but I thought she agreed with the anti-tzeddeka-for-camp sentiments more....lol...although I was also confused by parts of her post.
Anyway, I agree with quotes like the following:
'The community owes nobody a 24/7 babysitter.
I tend to hold that tzedaka money is necessary to maintain luxuries like the cheder, mikva and the truly poor.
and
'Yes, some people are spoiled but that only will continue if the community supports it. Holders of the community funds have a responsibility to those who gave to use their investment wisely'.
Then she stated that after her divorce she decided to be pro-active and sell a fourth floor walk-up for a house with a yard (presumably out of town or something) - a lifestyle choice and course of action that many of us are emphasizing may be possible for those so unhappy being cooped up in Brooklyn walk-ups that they need tzeddekka to free their kids.
Both of my kids are bh very active and high maintenance and I cant take them along to places like dust furniture warehouses. These places are closed by the time dh is home from work. As I stated many times before, my job as a sahm is to keep my home running and the kids taken care of. Furniture shopping was my job for today. And no, I didnt really enjoy it, it was very tiring. I despise traveling, esp by boro park bus...
My 5 y.o. has SN too...and I can take him on errands. It's much easier not to, but I can. He thinks IKEA is the greatest thing going (there he's allowed to jump on the furniture!).
Today I went to boro park to a dusty, musty furniture warehouse to choose new (discount) chairs for our new palace. I couldnt do that if my kids were with me. Then I got back, famished and exhausted, and met my sister for lunch. Picked up my 6 yr old from cheder, bought him shoes, returned him to cheder, and made the rounds of four different stores for some househokd essentials. Then it was time to pick up the 3 yr old... I arrived home 5 1/2 hours after I left, starved and exhausted. All ina day's work... Working mothers don't take their kids to work either :-D
Mama Bear
Please leave working mothers out of this discussion. Or explain the relevance.
Are you very insecure in your role as a SAHM? I'm sorry about that.
But I don't see why I, a working mother who does NOT have time to run errands, with kids or without (that's right, my kids wait a long time for new shoes, new furniture simply doesn't happen) and who can only DREAM about meeting anyone for lunch (no, I don't have a lunch break, I need to work through it so I can run to get my kids from daycare), WHY do I need to keep reading that you have it soooo much harder? Than everyone else in the WORLD?
You have alot of luxuries. You don't work. You get to run your household, shop, run errands during the daytime. You spend alot of time with your children. You actually think it's unacceptable to be worn out at the end of the day or not have supper made. If all that is weighing down on you so much, get a job.
If you feel like people are coming down on you hard here, well maybe read your own posts and see how much you put down others and their difficulties.
Thank you Imaonwheels.
If you read her post closely people she is saying what many of us did, but somehow no one is bashing her (yet...) which is why she is such a unique person.
What is she saying? If you are a SAHM with normal kids and you are healthy and can't afford camp, it's not a necessity. And that saying that camp is so extremely important is when it is a torah learning camp, no different than yeshiva but in a different locale, for boys who have to continue learning torah. NOT for mothers who want their kids out so that they can clean the house and make meals and not be tired when their husband comes home. Which is what some of the posters have listed as the reasons that they need their camp to be paid for if they can't afford it...for THEIR needs and not for their sons torah continuation (which few here will disagree with, or at least those who would pay for yeshiva learning for those kids)
She says straight out, camp isn't trips, isn't swimming,...why should I paraphrase, her words are best:
"If your type of camps is all swimming, fun, campfires and crafts with an occasional 15 min davar Torah then shame on you for taking caspei tzibbur unless you are a certified social or medical exception"
and when she describes camp, as a single mother of four kids, she also states upright that she never took a penny of caspei tzibbur to pay for it, she paid out of her own pocket. And that when she couldn't cope with them in a small walk up forth floor apartment she went FAAAAR (believe me it's far) OOT to be able to afford a house with a yard for them (and she doesn't live in any luxury home, believe me)
So...how many of you mothers advocating that camp is a necessity for all MOTHERS, SAHMs who can't afford it, and that others should pay for it, actually agree with her post?
Thank you imaonwheels. It seems like we agree, or am I too confused to understand?!? lol
I'm just wondering why no one is disagreeing with your post. Maybe because you are just the right poster. Brooklyn born, raised and married then divorced, currently living in Israel, chabbad--so not really chasseeeeeedish, and a good tongue.....
Because she managed to both agree and disagree with everyone. So those who are arguing in favor of camp as a necessity can say, "see, imaonwheels agrees it's necessary," while those who are arguing against can say, "see, imaonwheels says the community doesn't owe anyone a babysitter," and everyone is happy.
Get cheap skirts on ebay. Or second hand. It's very "in" anyway.
We eat unhechshered as much as possible. But we eat only good quality (my parents insist we always take top, we don't).
There are gorgeous synthetic sheitels also on ebay, that's where I found my first long blonds, before it was foundable here in real hair. But they only last a few months, and aren't for summer.
It IS possible to live way OOT, if you can still shlep what you need and commute to school/your rav allows public school. Or apply for a social apartment, with luck you may qualify! this reminds me we forgot to apply again...
My first sheitel was Y2K, this is what we found in a decent colour for me, and I was very happy with it. Custom sheitel for a needy bride? Dream on, not paying. In my world needy brides often get 15 years old sheitels (which isn't nice either, but hey).
I never had a shabbes sheitel. What, a sheitel for one day? I need to be pretty every day
If all that is weighing down on you so much, get a job.
