Help, baby cries to nurse ALL night!

PSR

Mon, Feb 12 2024, 4:55 pm

Just read this thread and it brings back memories from when my 6 year old was a baby. He didn't sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time from age 6 months to a year old.
It was pure hell. I really sympathize OP. Sleep deprivation is torture. I'm still not sure how I survived it. I can still cry when I think about it.

amother

↑ Burgundy ↓

Mon, Feb 12 2024, 8:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Of course I've tried paci instead of nipple. Gets him very upset.

He won't sleep with dh. Alas.

With medicine I think acid blockers can mess up the natural acid system or something. I'm giving elimination diet another try but if I continue to suspect acid reflux I'll have another talk with the doctor.

I have the baby whisperer solves your problems and haven't read it, will see if it includes the sleep training method.

Grasping at straws here... It's come to the point where sometimes even if I know he's tired I try to distract him instead of putting him to sleep because I just don't have the energy to hold him for the next hour. I know that's terrible and counterproductive and everything but that's desperation.

Well, he's going to have to bite the bullet—or paci—at some point. Too bad if he gets upset. You keep pushing that paci. That is not your role; you are not made of silicone.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Feb 12 2024, 8:32 pm

There's only so much you can try before you realize that your sleep and sanity in the short term isn't worth it. The misery level when he wakes up in middle of the night and doesn't get what he wants is very very high. Very. Very very high level misery. He doesn't simply get over it, get used to it, or adjust.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 12:42 am

Came back here for company.
After some time of surrender, I decided to try the gentle end tactic of waking up earlier to try to move the whole clock to something more aligned with nature or whatever. I'd been meaning to do it, especially since I want to ease into more work hours too, but today worked out because he happened to wake up in a decent mood around 9. usually if he wakes up around then or if I try to wake him up before he's ready, he's super cranky and just cries until I let (... nurse) him back to sleep. So today he was willing to wake up so I said great, let's go with this.

It backfired big time. The great mood lasted pretty much all day. We had a nice friendly hour or so where he chilled while I got mostly dressed, then got clingy and then nursed back to sleep. I let him sleep on me and took most of that nap with him because I was also tired from getting up at 9 after not sleeping any more than usual before. After that he was pretty happy, we did a couple errands, until it was time for the sitter and work. Sitter said he was great and I got the best thrilled greeting (I don't always get that, often he just whines for me) and he was super cheerful the rest of the evening.

Then he peacefully fell asleep around 9. Started the day early, get tired and end the day early, amiright?

I am not right. Or rather I was right earlier upthread where I gave up on this. He woke up after an hour or so, decided that the 9 was a nap, was happy for another hour or so, and then tired again and now I'm having a night from heck. I've put him to sleep like 5 times already, don't think I'm exaggerating, including one where he transferred to crib long enough for me to use the bathroom, one where he woke up upon attempt to transfer, one in which I held him until he woke up of natural causes, and one where I was able to get him to sleep in the bed cuddled next to me but not in my arms so I was able to get some computer work done. Sleep would have been nice but he and other stuff has been keeping me too busy and I had a couple of deadlines that were getting too far in the past. Then he woke up from that too and now my computer is closed and he's falling asleep nursing in my arms, I will keep him there, and this better be it for the night because I am thoroughly burned out and did not start making shabbos yet. It's almost 4am, even if he does sleep this time I'm already beyond hope to function today.

I had such a nice pleasant happy relatively productive day and now I feel like I'm being soundly punished for it.

If I get enough sleep/nap to keep my eyes open, I'll try to read the baby whisperer over Shabbos.

Can't Believe It

amother

Indigo

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 12:48 am

OP, all I can say is Gam Zeh Yaavor.

I am saying this as I put my 18 month old back in his crib (thankfully only his first waking for tonight, and he just nursed and went back to sleep). It was a lot of hard months but it does end!

Dolly Welsh

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 12:52 am

amother OP wrote:

With baby being 100% cheerful and friendly all day and ok for part of the night (like 5-8am)? He's only miserable from about 11 to idk 4ish.

So, right in the middle of the night. Is that when your husband gets to bed? Your husband is very, very busy. The kid may not know him well yet. He may not know who is this guy coming in here.

Make sure your husband walks around with the kid in his arms, preferably bare chested, talking soothingly to him. The kid will get used to his feel and smell.

As your husband is so busy, that might be hard to achieve. But try for a little of him walking the boy around, every day, even if just for a few minutes. Daily.

Just a thought.

a2z

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 2:14 am

For your sanity please nurse laying down
That way at least you don't have the part of putting him down plus you are in a resting position.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 6:07 am

He knows perfectly well who his father is. They've been healthily attached since he was a newborn and he's his favorite person ever.

I do nurse lying down and various levels of asleep. But it's not real sleep. And it doesn't help when nursing isn't what he needs and he's begging for it but then squirming and pulling on and off and crying...

amother

↑ Burgundy

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 6:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

Really sounds like reflux, sorry to say...

amother

Daffodil

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:42 am

Hi Op,
My 5 month old is doing the same thing and I’m struggling so much. She is the happiest and easiest baby all day, but wakes up many times a night, nurses and then SCREAMS. Did you ever figure out what it is? Did it pass?

imaima

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:08 am

amother OP wrote:

It's been going on at least a week and I'm having a breakdown. Sorry for long post but I'm providing all the details in case it's relevant.

We hadn't gotten into an amazing sleep rhythm and I wanted to work on that, but meanwhile things are so messed up now.

Here's what used to happen, more or less:
Went to night sleep maybe 10:30ish. Woke up around midnight for a midnight snack. Could usually be transferred back to crib at that point, and then would sleep for up to 5 hours. Then would wake up, nurse hungrily, and fall back asleep with me in my bed because at 4-5am I am too tired to take the chance that he won't transfer back successfully, because if a transfer ever doesn't work then he pops back wide awake and there's no going back.

This wasn't all that consistent but I'd started working on getting that first sleep at a more consistent time, transferring him to the crib for at least the first stretch or two (which I did often but not 100%), and helping him fall asleep separately from nursing at least the first time, all of which seemed to be going ok. Basically things we'd been doing already for months, but trying to do more consistently and more scheduled.

Suddenly all bets are off. I put him down for what should be 4-5 hours and he wakes up 30 minutes later and WILL NOT settle back down unless I nurse him. Like escalating bloodcurdling screams, even if he's being held and sung to and walked and pacifiered and all the things that usually comfort him. Only nursing. But then he falls asleep latched on, and as soon as I unlatch it's right back to crying. At some point he'll fall asleep and not wake up when unlatched, but then it all repeats - he'll wake up more or less a half hour later, cry inconsolably harder and harder only wanting to nurse. ALL. NIGHT. LONG!!! When I let him fall asleep latched on in bed with me, he stays asleep more than a half hour, so I get more sleep but very poor quality and I'm not functioning, and he's still waking up a lot more than he used to. Like after an hour instead of a half hour.

He's obviously not hungry because 1. he falls asleep very quickly after latching on, 2. after a few rounds of this he isn't even nursing, it only makes him uncomfortable - he'll demand to nurse and then when I give it to him he just latches on and cries there. That's the worst part because there is literally nothing left to offer him!

I tried nursing him sooner without waiting for him to cry for it first in order to not have an automatic crying habit or something, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I tried putting off the nursing hoping that he will respond to some other form of comfort, but he doesn't. I tried giving him a bottle before bed in case he's actually hungry, didn't help at all. I tried Tylenol in case he's having teething pain, I don't think it helped, but I'm pretty sure it's not teething pain because he's happy as anything during the day and one night when DH played with him instead of me trying to put him back to sleep.

The only thing I haven't tried is taking him for a walk outside, because it's been windy and freezing or below freezing at night. But walking around the house doesn't help.

DH keeps waking up from all the crying and he's like "Just give up your sleep training ideas and nurse him already!" and I'm like first off all this is WITH nursing! Secondly if this baby doesn't get sleep trained then I will literally never function, I'm already falling apart from sleeping in such short increments. So anyway there's no real support there. Over the weekend when he wasn't bound to his work schedule DH tried to help but it didn't accomplish much except to give me a much-needed break. I.e. it helped me a little temporarily but did not help the baby sleep - he did a little playing instead of sleeping, and then when he was tired again went right back to screaming to nurse and nothing else. In general DH works a packed schedule and has to wake up early in the morning so we're both going a little crazy from this.

OK if you read this whole megillah, thank you. If you have experience with this or if you have advice from a sleep coach or anything, please please share. I'm desperate and will try anything except cold turkey CIO.

Check his ears?
Some irritating rash somewhere?

amother

↑ Trillium

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 4:45 pm

Been thinking about this OP and her baby

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 6:27 pm

Hiiii... Never did figure out what his problem was. He's over 13 months now and still not a great sleeper but bh only waking up 1-2 times a night. Sleeping in my bed because he only ever did very short stretches in the crib. Now that he's sleeping significantly better I want to try the crib again because this is super annoying. But in general my level of fatigue is a lot better these days.

Still hard to get him to sleep in the first place - we don't really have a routine still because what seems to work one day doesn't work again. Even nursing doesn't always work anymore.

amother

Black

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 7:12 pm

GIVE UP NURSING. He'll sleep through the next night.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 7:13 pm

amother Black wrote:

GIVE UP NURSING. He'll sleep through the next night.

He's very clearly not at all ready.

marineparkmom

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 5:18 am

1. Check mom’s thyroid…. I know so many moms including myself who thought we were exhausted from lack of sleep with a baby but it was hypothyroidism.

2. Nurse lying down and take a shabbos nap

3. It is hard but it gets easier…. I guess the question is if you want to sleep train or go with the natural. If you go with nursing then part of it is waiting for the baby to unlatch himself. If you unlatch him he probably isn’t fully asleep and will wake up