S/O $150k a year- low food budget- how??

amother

↑ Moccasin

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:44 am

amother OP wrote:

It definitely skews frugal.

I don’t know anyone IRL who wears the same wig for 10 years and never buys new clothes or yogurts.

You dont really pay attention to when everyone you know is buying clothes or a shaitel. Really. There are many tiers of status among friends.
Why cant someone wear a shaitel for 10 years straight? How long are you married?
I used to think it was crazy to go 7 year bt hey I am at year 8 and I am still happy with mine and do not want to buy new. I cannot justify the cost although if I wanted to at this time I could probably pay the amount. Mine are totally find and functional, might need a dye soon - first time in 8 yrs. Rly color looks ok bt I know it was darker before.
Clothing? Up until last year I never bought clothing for years. literally. Had no money for that. Even last yr it went on Credit Cards. BH this year we had money for clothing and I bought some things during summer sales. I absolutely have no desire to shop before every Yom Tov. Shopping 1-2x a year for myself, if that, is a lot for me. Like I said - I never used to shop for myself at all because of money and had to make do and knew how to pull it off well.
I posted above re yogurts too.

I really dont believe I am alone. Many people struggle with finances in some ways. If some ppl are buying wigs, clothes and yogurts and are in debt, they are not affording it yet managing for now.
I do not believe in going into debt over yogurt or a wig. Yes at times a wig is necessary however often a wig repair or freshening up with little work goes a long way when affording one is out of the picture. Small cost compared to a wig.

In any case, I wish you always to be in good financial status that you should always be able to buy what you want and need. At the same time, please keep an open mind to those who may differ from you.

amother

↑ Azalea ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:04 am

amother Raspberry wrote:

I know this is off topic, but genuinely curious. Do you literally mean rice and beans? Or euphemism?

Long story short, during the 9 days I did a milchig taco bar because I was running out of options (we have some dairy free and some gluten free)- put out beans, rice, cut up veggies, cheese/fake cheese, taco shells, chips etc, and the kids loved it and declared it their favorite dinner and requested it replace schnitzel night.

amother

↑ Azalea ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:08 am

kids can be taught the concept of “I bought 7 yogurts for you this week, if you have an extra today then one day you’ll have to skip a different day” without knowing it’s because money is tight. We have that rule about bananas , not because bananas are expensive, but because I got tired of buying the wrong amount and wasting them, so now we buy 1 per person per day.

amother

↑ Amber

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:37 am

amother Lilac wrote:

OR, the people who spend like you are not responding on these threads. There are hundreds of women a day who peruse imamother, if a few vocal posters make a statement that is really not a large percentage.

I do happen to know some really poor people IRL, some who literally can't afford wigs or clothing.

They all spend a decent amount on food though What

and the only families who literally count yogurts - that I know IRL - are pretty dysfunctional people in other ways as well. (I'm talking about families with children). Sorry, but this is what I see. So please don't make this about residual childhood trauma.

Sorry but not having unlimited yogurts does not make someone dysfunctional. What is normal to you is odd to someone else.

I don't buy wigs. I have been married over 12 years and just got my first since my wedding. Some people "it's their thing" but others don't.

We qualify for wic, not food stamps. Only ok yogurt is a single big tub a month. We get tomchei so randomly we have a lot of yogurt now (I think someone donated surplus from a store or something as it was unusual.). But yogurt isn't a staple like "counting slices of bread".
We don't spend a ton on clothing. My kids each got 1 outfit if they needed something that fit. We happened to have growth spurts in the last month or two so I saved their new outfit for YT. Nothing matching, nothing from a frum store. It is from shein. And not everyone got something.

amother

↑ Lilac ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:29 am

amother Raspberry wrote:

Someone who visits my house used to make fun of me for "counting yogurts" because her kids would ask for them, and I would politely say no. I explained (numerous times) that it wasn't so much a $ thing (though my budget is pretty tight), but we bought a pretty calculated amount each week to cover lunches, and by her kids taking even 1-2, we wouldn't have enough for the week. It wasn't worth my kids getting upset that they couldn't have in their lunches because her kids wanted those.

That being said, I'd often offer to give from the bigger containers we got free from WIC (if we had on hand). It was just too tricky to send that yogurt to school.

And yet she implied I was being stingy. What

Sorry I wasn't talking about you at all! It's totally ok to buy x number of yogurts a week and you're not running to the store if it runs out, so it makes sense to count how many each one got. Your neighbor is out of line - she has no right to your food!

I was talking about a general limiting of healthy food, which, growing up in the wealthy USA bh, I've only seen by families who had dysfunction in other areas as well. (And I know plenty of poor people, including a friend who wears a tichel because she can't afford a shaitel, and another friend who got a "new" shaitel after over 10 years of wearing her old shaitel, from a gemach).

amother

↑ Emerald ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:48 am

amother Lilac wrote:

How is limiting yogurt cups considered limiting healthy food? Most cy ones (and I'm guessing those are the ones being limited due to price) are made with low fat milk and lots of sugar. Most of the food people mentioned limiting here are meat, frozen prepared foods, individually portioned snacks, and yogurt cups. Most of that is not health food, and the meat alternatives people serve are not necessarily less healthy.

amother

↑ Lilac ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:01 am

amother Emerald wrote:

I always saw yogurt as a health(ier) food. Definitely healthier than cold cereal, which, let's be honest, most have plenty of sugar, for less nutritional value. So you can replace "yogurt" with any food you think is healthier.

amother

Gardenia ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:06 am

I grew up in a family that spent a LOT of money on food and I now spend a lot of money on food.

However I do limit certain foods because they are not meant to be eaten in unlimited amounts because they are snacks or treats. I grew up in this way and didn't feel "deprived" of food.

A whole box of cookies - multiple ice creams (and fruit yogurt is essentially ice cream in terms of nutrition), a family size bag of chips or multiple snack packs - not acceptable.

Even some food that wasn't "snacks" like fruit might be limited in the sense that it was intended for something special or one person shouldn't eat 2 pounds of cherries.

No one was hungry as there was always food available if you were hungry and not "bad" stuff either. String cheese, crackers, cut up vegetables, cut up melon, non-exotic fruit.

amother

↑ Lilac ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:09 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

I grew up in a family that spent a LOT of money on food and I now spend a lot of money on food.

However I do limit certain foods because they are not meant to be eaten in limited amounts because they are snacks or treats. I grew up in this way and didn't feel "deprived" of food.

A whole box of cookies - multiple ice creams (and fruit yogurt is essentially ice cream in terms of nutrition), a family size bag of chips or multiple snack packs - not acceptable.

Even some food that wasn't "snacks" like fruit might be limited in the sense that it was intended for something special or one person shouldn't eat 2 pounds of cherries.

No one was hungry as there was always food available if you were hungry and not "bad" stuff either. String cheese, crackers, cut up vegetables, cut up melon, non-exotic fruit.

100% I grew up the same way. I don't know if we spent a LOT of money on food, definitely bought on sale and cheaper fruits and vegetables, but whatever healthy food we had wasn't rationed. We grew up very health conscious actually, so there was very limited "nosh" available, and if it was, it was in limited quantities.

amother

↑ Azalea

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:27 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

I think that a lot of people have baggage about parents who enforce food choices, but at the same time it’s our job as parents to teach kids about healthy food choices. Leaving the financial piece aside, there’s also value in real food.
Small example from my house this morning- my daughter asked for potato chips as her snack bag today, which is normally a treat. I told her yes if she picked the healthy (healthier) kind of granola bar instead of the extra sweet one. Low-trauma way of teaching healthier eating habits- if you pick a less healthy snack make the rest of your snacks a bit healthier. Did I say no junk? No, I limited it to one. She accepted this and proceeded to grab the chips, a healthy granola bar, a yogurt, a piece of fruit and a bag of cheerios.

amother

↑ Gardenia ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:41 am

amother Starflower wrote:

Please remember that milk has lots of sugar. One cup of low-fat milk has 13 grams of sugar.

Milk is generally self limiting in terms of the quantity that would be drunk.

It is only when you add flavors to milk that it becomes a treat that often will be imbibed in unlimited quantities.

Yogurt is not the equivalent of milk anymore than a whole fresh fruit is the equivalent of a cherry pie. Very Happy

People (including children) don't drink massive quantities of plain milk any more than they sit down and eat five apples or oranges.

Many people think flavored yogurt is somehow a healthy food choice whereas it really is a "treat" that should be limited in the same way most people would limit an ice cream bar.

Unflavored yogurt is as healthy as plain milk. Use cut up fruit and it is an extremely healthy food and is self limiting because it is generally very satiating. It doesn't have the same kinds of triggers that the little cups of yogurt have in terms of how many might be eaten

amother

↑ Lilac ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:53 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

I have never been able to eat more than three quarters of a yogurt at a time, and I've never had any of my kids want more than one yogurt. I guess you have to know your family, if they're the type to eat unlimited quantities of yogurt then you need to limit...

Just to add that most cereals have added sugar as well. I just checked my Rice Krispies box and I see sugar listed as the second ingredient. And the rice they used is so processed...

amother

↑ Chartreuse ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:55 am

amother Lilac wrote:

My kids will eat 3 yogurts in a sitting if I let them. And I dont consider most cereals heapthy.

amother

↑ Gardenia ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:08 am

amother Lilac wrote:

Why are processed cereals being raised in terms of being a rebuttal example. I don’t think any one thinks that processed cold cereals are a wonderful food. 🤷‍♀️

People have different appetites but typically an adult would not be full on four ounces of yogurt.

The issue with processed food is that for most people it triggers desires that have very little to do with actual hunger. Manufacturers go to great lengths to maximize these cravings in terms of the flavors, the packaging, the ingredients and the ads.

The only point I was making is that most functional homes do limit how much of certain kinds of foods their children eat and do this in an appropriate manner that doesn’t scar children for life and in fact makes them an informed eater who is more likely to have healthy normal eating habits. 🤷‍♀️

amother

↑ Lilac ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:12 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

Because many posters are saying that cold cereal is ok but yogurt is not. I'm not sure I understand the logic... yogurt is typically eaten in my house with some form of starch, its obviously not a full meal.

amother

↑ Chartreuse ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:20 am

amother Lilac wrote:

Sorry I didn't see where people said that from a healthy standpoint. Only from a cost effective standpoint.

amother

Topaz

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:34 am

joker wrote:

I don't know one person that uses steel oats to save money or doesn't buy yogurtS due to expense . Not one. I think when most people get to that point they are getting government funding which includes yogurts etc
Personally I wouldn't advise making a big deal about the foods my kids eat As long as it's within reason I def wouldn't make them feel we can't afford for them to eat something . I can only imagine how scary that would be for a child to feel there isn't Enough food. You can refuse purchases and say "we don't need it" or snack bags are special for school. Trauma from the way you discuss money is real

Okay, so.... here's my opinion.

I don't buy yogurt because I think its too expensive. BH I CAN afford to have buy it if I was craving yogurt, but I don't buy in general, even though I like it, because it's too expensive.

What that means is, either I can buy yogurt, soda, takeout, energy drinks, fish.... OR I can try to save money so when my expenses grow IYH, I will have the money to marry off my kids, which if don't budget carefully, I'm not sure how that would ever be possible.

Just because I'm not on programs doesn't mean I can afford yogurt.