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-> Working Women
-> Work at Home Mothers
amother
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 10:17 am
I have been working from home since the end of August. I work between 20-40 hours a week depending on how much work needs to be done. I am able to get a decent amount done when most of my kids are out of the house. My son comes home from preschool at 1:30, and it becomes much harder, especially duiring the winter, I do data entry, so in the warmer weather I can bring the laptop outside and work while he plays on the porch. Now, he needs major entertainment by me. I end up working after the kids are in bed (around 8) and working well past midinight, which leaves me so tired.
How do you manage your kids while you are working?
When do you prepare meals?
When do you find the time to do housework and laundry?
What hours do you work?
If you work at night, when do you find time to relax?
Do you work straight for many hours, or do a little bit at a time?
I am not on any time-clock, so my hours are extremely flexible. I just need to complete all the work and have a major report due once a month.
I spent Sunday making meals for the week. Plus, I already made and froze the chicken for Shabbos. I'd love some tips on easy, but nutritious meals to make ahead of time. When do you do your Shabbos cooking?
Thanks for your help!
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amother
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 2:38 pm
My schedule is also very flexible, and I'm working from home. But I only have one child, and he's about 7 months old now. So I'll offer one piece of advice, but I don't know how much of it will work for an older child.
Can you do your chores (cooking, cleaning, etc) WITH your child? I do that even now - I'll cut up vegetables while I'm on the floor with him, and he'll watch (from afar, of course). With an older child, I would assume he could help a little bit - tossing a salad, washing vegetables, mixing something, or even adding things after you've measured them. Would that help? that way you'd be spending time with him and getting things done at the same time...
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GetReal
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 2:42 pm
I don't work nearly as many hours as you - I usually work 10-15 hours a week. I have my baby and my toddler home with me, and I can't work while they're awake - I get too distracted, plus they need my attention. So I work during nap time, or at night. My "relaxation" time is when the baby is awake and my toddler is napping - I nurse the baby while going on the computer or reading a book.
I try to cook extra for Shabbos and freeze some - for example, make a bigger kugel and use half another week. On Sunday, and sometimes even Monday, we have Shabbos leftovers for supper. When I cook main dishes for the week I make three or four times as much and freeze the rest - meatballs, meat loaf, chicken, shnitzel, etc. I make the side dishes and vegetables each day though.
I cook and do laundry with the kids "helping" me...it takes longer, I could do it in half the time if I did it when they're sleeping, but I need that time to work. I try to make it fun for them.
My biggest challenge right now - finding time to spend with DH! The kids go to sleep and I work, and then I'm ready to crash!
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mimivan
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 2:42 pm
How do you manage your kids while you are working?
I send my kids out and try to avoid working when they are around. They are home around 2pm. My five month old is with me. I nurse him while working and put him down for naps. He plays in his playpen with toys when awake and sometimes I hold him while working. I'm trying to keep him home as long as poss. until he gets too bore and can run around (trying to keep him home till one year old and may start some supplemental at home babysitting at 9 or 10 months. But money is tight.
When do you prepare meals?
I would love to say I prepare them the night before, but I take breaks from work to prepare meals. Usually, I make nothing during the week that takes more than 15 min prep time. We eat alot of rice and pasta, which doesn't freeze well. Otherwise I would freeze. I do freeze soups.
When do you find the time to do housework and laundry?
I put in laundry in the a.m. I can manage right now with only the minimum (laundry and cooking). I can't afford cleaning help right now, and boy my house needs it..trying to find a solution for that..cleaning help is also expensive.
What hours do you work?
I'm working more than 40 hours, since I am taking additional projects to my regular job. Usually I work from 9 am to 2 than at night from 9 or 10 to 12 am or 1. (not quite 8 hours, but I work 6 days a week) Sometimes I fall asleep with the baby and work in the wee hours. (Like tonight) very inconvenient. Wish I could always just stay up.
If you work at night, when do you find time to relax?
I relax by playing with my kids. There isn't much time to relax, but I try to take 15 minutes to learn something or 15 minutes to do some stretches.
Do you work straight for many hours, or do a little bit at a time?
As I described above, a fairly long stretch during the day and a few hours at night.
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shalhevet
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 2:49 pm
amother wrote: | I have been working from home since the end of August. I work between 20-40 hours a week depending on how much work needs to be done. I am able to get a decent amount done when most of my kids are out of the house. My son comes home from preschool at 1:30, and it becomes much harder, especially duiring the winter, I do data entry, so in the warmer weather I can bring the laptop outside and work while he plays on the porch. Now, he needs major entertainment by me. I end up working after the kids are in bed (around 8) and working well past midinight, which leaves me so tired.
How do you manage your kids while you are working? |
I try to work mostly during the mornings when they're out and at night. Sometimes I have to finish something urgently, and then I work round them, but my two oldest dds are 14 and 13, so they can take charge.
Quote: |
When do you prepare meals? |
I usually make enough for 2 days. I just take a bit of time out of the morning and make something simple - like chicken and potatoes in one pot. Another day I'll make enough soup for 3 days. I start around 11.30-12 and then it's ready when everyone gets home. I carry on working while it cooks.
Quote: | When do you find the time to do housework and laundry? | I do laundry in the afternoons and fold round my children. Cleaning and tidying up - I do a bit here and there and get my dds to help. And if I don't have work (I freelance) then some more gets done that day. I go shopping with my children in the afternoon, or send the older ones by themselves to the tzarchaniya. My apartment looks like I don't have time for it...
Quote: | What hours do you work? |
Typically 9-1.15 in the morning. 9-12/1 at night. Plus motzai Shabbos.
Quote: | If you work at night, when do you find time to relax? |
That's what imamother is for - a bit here and there as I work.
Quote: | Do you work straight for many hours, or do a little bit at a time? |
Mostly straight. I do little tasks, like billing, here and there in the afternoon.
Quote: | I spent Sunday making meals for the week. Plus, I already made and froze the chicken for Shabbos. I'd love some tips on easy, but nutritious meals to make ahead of time. When do you do your Shabbos cooking? |
I don't work Friday and I do all the cooking and some cleaning then.
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amother
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 2:53 pm
OP here: Thanks for the advice!
I should have mentioned the following: I have a baby and a toddler at home all day. My 4 year old comes home at 1:30. The 4 bigger kids get home around 4. So, all your tips about any age from babies to school age kids really help! Thanks!
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amother
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 2:57 pm
imo if a mom cant be there with the kids then there should be a babysitter. its stressful for kids to have a working mom who is busy when they need someones attention
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amother
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 6:15 pm
amother wrote: | imo if a mom cant be there with the kids then there should be a babysitter. its stressful for kids to have a working mom who is busy when they need someones attention |
In my experience it all depends on how much the child needs the mother -- like is it all the time, or can the child have some one-on-one time and then be set up with an activity he or she can do alongside mommy? At different ages and stages, my kids have either needed to go out to a sitter or have learned to entertain themselves for longer stretches of time.
Every situation is different -- no need to generalize or "guilt-trip" anyone for doing their best to support their family. I think we all generate enough guilt on our own!
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newmom
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 6:25 pm
If finances allow it, I'd hire a babysitter. You would probably be able to get the work done in half the amount of time, since you could totally focus on the tasks at hand without being interrupted.
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amother
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 6:43 pm
amother wrote: | amother wrote: | imo if a mom cant be there with the kids then there should be a babysitter. its stressful for kids to have a working mom who is busy when they need someones attention |
In my experience it all depends on how much the child needs the mother -- like is it all the time, or can the child have some one-on-one time and then be set up with an activity he or she can do alongside mommy? At different ages and stages, my kids have either needed to go out to a sitter or have learned to entertain themselves for longer stretches of time.
Every situation is different -- no need to generalize or "guilt-trip" anyone for doing their best to support their family. I think we all generate enough guilt on our own! |
OP here: I don't work when the kids need me, which is why I work many hours at night after they have gone to bed! I work in the morning while the little one's are napping as well. Between 4-8 the kids have my complete attention. When my son gets home from school at 1:30, I play with him. If he is occupied with his trains or other toys, I try to sneak in a little work. Like I said in the OP, during the warm weather I can work while he plays right next to me. My kids aren't "stressed" from my working. In fact, they are warm this winter because of it...our furnace broke in November unexpectadly. My working paid for the new one without the stress of having to take a loan. My working has also paid for an unplanned tax bill of $5000 and a plumbing problem of $1500. Trust me, the stress would have been much greater on everyone if I wasn't working! I don't feel guilty for working...in fact I think it's great I can build a resume working from home. I'm here when the kids wake up, I'm here when they come home from school, I'm here if they are sick and don't have to call a sitter or cancel work for the day. I just need a little help trying to juggle everything...this is the first time I have worked since my 2nd daughter was 4 months old....10 years ago! And now there are 7 of them, not 2! Thanks all for the advice...it really helps!
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e1234
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Mon, Jan 19 2009, 10:50 pm
I also work at home about 40 hours a week.
My main thing is I cannot work with the kids around - I cannot concentrate on both and it's not fair to the kids to be ignored. All my kids are out. My 5 month hold stays home with me takes a nap usually from 9-10 and then I send him out till 2 so I can get work done.
Quote: | How do you manage your kids while you are working? |
I don't think this is possible - I do programming and I need concentration to work
Quote: | When do you prepare meals? |
I do quick meals - but meals is my biggest problem. If anyone else has ideas I could use them. I don't have time for real cooking.
Quote: | When do you find the time to do housework and laundry? |
Again this doesn't work for everyone but after working mornings and evening with no time for laundry - I finally hired someone to come twice a week just to fold laundry. somehow with the laundry off my head (and I do a lot of laudry a week) I can manage with the other stuff though my house is not spotless. If you set yourself a timer in the evening to do 15 minutes of housework (after kids are sleeping) before starting work - you can get quite a bit done.
Quote: | What hours do you work? |
I work 8:30 - 2 (sometimes till 4 as my older kids are in tzaharon) and I try to put in some time in the evening as well depending on when my kids go to bed.
Quote: | If you work at night, when do you find time to relax? |
relax??? Never!
Quote: | Do you work straight for many hours, or do a little bit at a time? |
I'm very disciplined - the worst is when I take just a one minute break and go to imamother but other then that which I am working on - I try not to take too many breaks so I can get things done
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amother
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Mon, Feb 23 2009, 12:41 am
im having a lot of the same problems as the OP - especially since I just had another baby a few months ago - b"H - and now I feel totally overwhelmed. I'm also having an issue with the fact that I get paid by the hour and any time I take off for myself - even one hour to go out in the night or something, I feel incredibly guilty about. I'm not sure if this is some type of postpartum depression or something. One person wrote that they work for 9 - 1:15 then at night till 12/1 - HOW do you do that? when do you do all the other things in your life that need to get done - supper, cleaning, relaxing etc... any help on how people schedule themselves would be greatly appreciated. I really try to be 100% with my kids in the afternoon since theyre out the whole morning (except for my baby).
thanks!
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shalhevet
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Mon, Feb 23 2009, 1:16 am
amother wrote: | One person wrote that they work for 9 - 1:15 then at night till 12/1 - HOW do you do that? when do you do all the other things in your life that need to get done - supper, cleaning, relaxing etc... any help on how people schedule themselves would be greatly appreciated. I really try to be 100% with my kids in the afternoon since theyre out the whole morning (except for my baby).
thanks! |
I think that was me.
Supper? In Israel, the main meal is lunch time, and I said I cook something quick in the morning (but not every day). So it's 30-60 minutes two or three times a week.
Cleaning? I used to have a cleaner, but I can't afford it right now. I have older dds and they help me on Thursday afternoons.
Relaxing? When I don't have work. Otherwise, some imamother here and there all day... I usually read a page or two at 1am when I go to sleep. Also, time with the children in the afternoon can be relaxing, depending what I'm doing.
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mimivan
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Mon, Feb 23 2009, 1:46 am
that's like my schedule too..
my house needs a good clean...I can only do the minimum
I make quick meals...I have to cook and clean when the kids are awake...dont' have much of a choice. I do try to sit with them and spend time with them, though...but never as much time as I want
Used to be that both were in the Tzaharon...now the oldest comes home at 1:30...so it is harder..(I used to work till 4 and get everything done...oh well, I get to spend more time with them)
I don't sleep much
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e1234
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Mon, Feb 23 2009, 4:11 am
Shalhevet,
What time do you start at night?
My problem is because I also would like to get a little done at night - I feel like I rush my kids to be in bed and bedtime becomes a batttle. - maybe it would be like that anyways but my 8 year old (my oldest) doesn't go to sleep till around 9 - do you work with the older ones around?
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mosma
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Sun, Mar 08 2009, 8:12 pm
I work 10-1 am and 7-8:30 pm. In the afternoons, my 4 year old is home so I cannot get work done then.
My best idea for cooking is CROCK POT. Go to a website like recipezaar and you can sift just by crockpot recipes. There are so many great ones (go to my username, same as here, mosma, and you can see my crockpot reviews. There's a great stew recipe I make). I put them up in the morning after my son is in school, or while he's eating breakfast (he loves the company) and by the time supper rolls around and I'm too tired to move, it's already hot and cooked and yummy. Or try some quick meals, like stir fry or sloppy joes.
When he's off from school but I still have work I try to occupy him with his toys but sometimes I have to resort to (I know it's terrible) the TV.
I work nights but I go to bed late so I can spend time with DH, which I'm sure isn't the best idea for people who are not night people.
In terms of housework, I haven't figured that out yet. My house is flying. lol.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 15 2009, 9:02 pm
oh my - reading all your things you guys sound amazing - I too work from home - but I have 3 kids 2 1/2, 1 1/2 and 5 months at home with me all day (due to finances atm can't even afford day-care yet...) its so difficult having to work - they play well together (the 2 older ones) and when they need attention I try to show them what I'm doing - if they're not interested I just stop and get back to it when they are occupied sufficiently again.
I dont - pre-prepare meals - working at home is so I can be flexible to prepare a fresh meal every day
my house is pretty ok.... a little upside down due to pesach preparations and post purim parties - but normally very organized.
it works - just working from home can be stressfull coz then you don't have any excuse to leave the house (except for that weekly food shopping)... so its important to take any chances to get out of the house at least one hour a week....
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TwinsMommy
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Fri, Mar 20 2009, 11:30 am
My issue is not so much having kids at home with me but having 2 special needs toddlers who each have multiple appointments each week that I have to schedule around all my work appointments, business building teleseminars, etc etc. So between the three of us, we have multiple appointments daily.
Weds it's OT for him, PT for her. Thurs, it's early intervention "school" for him, and speech for her. Fris, it's early intervention "school" for him, and usually a playdate, playgroup, or storytime for her. Tuesdays I have group coaching in the mornings. Mondays I have a mastermind group twice a month in the mornings. Thursdays I have a group teleseminar in the mornings (I never make that live- I catch the replay). Sunday afternoons I typically have selling appointments or phone appointments for customers who work full time and don't do mornings.
Something that was brought up this week in one of my group coaching calls was this---- have FREE days (no work allowed on those days), LASER focus days (those are income producing days where you do your selling or your service providing), and support days (marketing, mailings, scheduling calls, etc). When you're jumping from one activity to another all day long, AND dealing with small kids, it's ROUGH!
How do you manage your kids while you are working?
I have a mother's helper a few hours a week--she plays with them while I work-- other work hours are during their naptimes or after their bedtime.
When do you prepare meals? QUICK easy meals at 5:00--- we eat at 5:30.
When do you find the time to do housework and laundry? Laundry--- late at night. Dishes- husband does those. Everything else-- hire out.
What hours do you work? Mornings a couple days a week, naptime almost every day, and after bedtime almost ever evenings.
If you work at night, when do you find time to relax? LATE at night---- I'm a midnight gal.
Do you work straight for many hours, or do a little bit at a time? Both--- I prefer to work straight like at night from 8:00 pm to 12:00 --- that's a nice chunk of time to return calls and emails, do networking, sell product, package orders, interview new prospects, etc. But it always gets interrupted--- such is life!
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songbliss
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Wed, Apr 01 2009, 9:19 am
TwinsMommy: Wowowowow! You have alot on your hands and you sound so organized! Kol Hakavod to you!! All the best of luck and I hope things get easier!
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