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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
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 Today at 1:34 pm
| amother Whitesmoke wrote: | | I'm a sahm. Dh works 2 jobs so all the childcare, housework ect falls on me completely - do we qualify for a discount ? |
As compared to us where we both work full time jobs (me almost 40 hours a week out of the home plus commute).
Somehow we manage to do all housework, laundry, shopping etc as well. We stagger our hours, do carpool, and manage kids with special needs (medical and learning issues).
So why do you get it over someone like me who is actively trying to meet the tuition payments?!
Sorry but you won't get sympathy from me... somehow I do it all and still need to beg for a discount.
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amother
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Today at 1:38 pm
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That wasn't my point at all. It's obviously a necessity. I'm saying we pay for things that not even well off non jews pay for and we do it for more children on (often) less. But where does it end? Who should give more? The teachers shouldn't get paid or the parents shouldn't pay? I'm in the same situation as everyone else wondering how I'm going to pay my bills but also curious if I'm going to get paid or not...
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amother
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Today at 1:43 pm
| amother Cornsilk wrote: | | That wasn't my point at all. It's obviously a necessity. I'm saying we pay for things that not even well off non jews pay for and we do it for more children on (often) less. But where does it end? Who should give more? The teachers shouldn't get paid or the parents shouldn't pay? I'm in the same situation as everyone else wondering how I'm going to pay my bills but also curious if I'm going to get paid or not... | The parents need to pay but it's not a luxury. Both these things are true.
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amother
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Today at 1:44 pm
| amother Honeysuckle wrote: | As compared to us where we both work full time jobs (me almost 40 hours a week out of the home plus commute).
Somehow we manage to do all housework, laundry, shopping etc as well. We stagger our hours, do carpool, and manage kids with special needs (medical and learning issues).
So why do you get it over someone like me who is actively trying to meet the tuition payments?!
Sorry but you won't get sympathy from me... somehow I do it all and still need to beg for a discount. | You sound really bitter. No one needs your sympathy, but I hope you find peace.
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amother
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Today at 1:45 pm
Personally I feel like each nonworking parent should be assigned a salary amount- maybe 40k and work from there.
So working parent 120k, sahm 40k total family income 160k, and give breaks based on that.
I also feel like parents should be asked to disclose what benefits they're getting and assign a value to it.
A family who makes 90k but gets Medicaid vs a family who makes 100k but pays $1000 a month OOP for health insurance. Well the first family is technically walking away with more money.
The same thing a family making 100k but on CHS and gets daycare for 2 kids ($1000 per month per kid so 24k value) plus daycamp for 3 kids (2k per kid so 6k value)
Has way more financial flexibility than a family making 110k but has to pay daycare and daycamp.
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amother
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Today at 1:52 pm
| amother Green wrote: | Personally I feel like each nonworking parent should be assigned a salary amount- maybe 40k and work from there.
So working parent 120k, sahm 40k total family income 160k, and give breaks based on that.
I also feel like parents should be asked to disclose what benefits they're getting and assign a value to it.
A family who makes 90k but gets Medicaid vs a family who makes 100k but pays $1000 a month OOP for health insurance. Well the first family is technically walking away with more money.
The same thing a family making 100k but on CHS and gets daycare for 2 kids ($1000 per month per kid so 24k value) plus daycamp for 3 kids (2k per kid so 6k value)
Has way more financial flexibility than a family making 110k but has to pay daycare and daycamp. | Lakewood schools subsidize tuition for everyone, because everyone in town is struggling. If you want to go through everyone's financial income with such a fine toothed comb then tuition would need to go up across the board to make room for these extra discounts. And the schools would need to hire staff to go through every family's financials and assign their custom tuition amounts. Also raising the base tuition.
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amother
Ecru
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Today at 1:54 pm
| amother Green wrote: | Personally I feel like each nonworking parent should be assigned a salary amount- maybe 40k and work from there.
So working parent 120k, sahm 40k total family income 160k, and give breaks based on that.
I also feel like parents should be asked to disclose what benefits they're getting and assign a value to it.
A family who makes 90k but gets Medicaid vs a family who makes 100k but pays $1000 a month OOP for health insurance. Well the first family is technically walking away with more money.
The same thing a family making 100k but on CHS and gets daycare for 2 kids ($1000 per month per kid so 24k value) plus daycamp for 3 kids (2k per kid so 6k value)
Has way more financial flexibility than a family making 110k but has to pay daycare and daycamp. |
I would think they'd assume anyone with income eligible for benefits would be getting them,. especially if asking for a tuition break.
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amother
Skyblue
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Today at 1:54 pm
| amother Honeysuckle wrote: | As compared to us where we both work full time jobs (me almost 40 hours a week out of the home plus commute).
Somehow we manage to do all housework, laundry, shopping etc as well. We stagger our hours, do carpool, and manage kids with special needs (medical and learning issues).
So why do you get it over someone like me who is actively trying to meet the tuition payments?!
Sorry but you won't get sympathy from me... somehow I do it all and still need to beg for a discount. |
Off topic but I've always been curious. How? I'm a sahm, pay full tuition so it's not on anyone else's cheshbon but I often wonder how do other women do it. So many appointments, days off from school, kid home sick... And you said you have high need kids...
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amother
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Today at 2:10 pm
| amother Ecru wrote: | | I would think they'd assume anyone with income eligible for benefits would be getting them,. especially if asking for a tuition break. |
Just because a family is income eligible for benefits doesn't mean they get them.
CHS and HUD for example have lists and not everyone just gets on.
I also wish schools asked parents to disclose any free tuitions.
I have a friend whose husband is making 50k at the Cheder. Her 2 sons are free, her 3 daughters are at Bais Faiga and tuition is pretaxed.
When she requested tuition break when she applied for high school, she wrote down she has 5 kids and her husband makes 35k.
That's not really accurate. She's not being expected to pay 5 tuitions on 35k. He's making 35k AFTER tuition. There's a massive difference there.
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amother
Mimosa
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Today at 2:45 pm
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A Hebrew Charter is needed.
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amother
Electricblue
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Today at 3:06 pm
| amother Skyblue wrote: | | Off topic but I've always been curious. How? I'm a sahm, pay full tuition so it's not on anyone else's cheshbon but I often wonder how do other women do it. So many appointments, days off from school, kid home sick... And you said you have high need kids... |
We don't have time to lounge around and engage in "self care". Sundays are for errands and laundry and getting a head start cooking. Every minute in the evening is accounted for. Appointments are scheduled months in advance. When kids are sick me and dh take turns taking off or we pay someone else to watch.
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amother
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Today at 3:12 pm
| amother Electricblue wrote: | | We don't have time to lounge around and engage in "self care". Sundays are for errands and laundry and getting a head start cooking. Every minute in the evening is accounted for. Appointments are scheduled months in advance. When kids are sick me and dh take turns taking off or we pay someone else to watch. | None of that explains how you can both work full time with special needs kids. My dd has multiple appointments a month, often an hour's drive each way. They are scheduled months in advance because specialists are booking that far out anyway. They still get canceled and rescheduled at the specialists whims. I need to schedule my life around her appointments and not the other way around. And be prepared to rearrange everything at an hours notice. Maybe some people have SN kids who are low maintenance and it's doable but for my child it's really really not.
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amother
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Today at 3:21 pm
| amother Electricblue wrote: | | We don't have time to lounge around and engage in "self care". Sundays are for errands and laundry and getting a head start cooking. Every minute in the evening is accounted for. Appointments are scheduled months in advance. When kids are sick me and dh take turns taking off or we pay someone else to watch. |
Ok so I'm going to get tomatoes for saying this, but I think self care is very important. Do you think children are being raised with a good feeling for yiddishkeit if their mother is never home, always tense and annoyed when she is, and this is all so they can pay tuition? There's going to be a lot of resentment, not to mention emotional fallout from this.
Speaking as someone who works very full time and so does my husband, and we somehow make it work. I don't recommend this lifestyle at all. I see the price that needs to be paid and I don't think it's worth it.
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chestnut
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Today at 3:25 pm
| amother Skyblue wrote: | | Off topic but I've always been curious. How? I'm a sahm, pay full tuition so it's not on anyone else's cheshbon but I often wonder how do other women do it. So many appointments, days off from school, kid home sick... And you said you have high need kids... |
Husbands and wives take turns staying home with kids, using vacation and sick days, babysitters, taking turns watching each other kids with other parents during school breaks. People make it work if they both need to work full time outside the house.
Last edited by chestnut on Sun, Dec 15 2024, 3:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Today at 3:26 pm
| amother Honeysuckle wrote: | As compared to us where we both work full time jobs (me almost 40 hours a week out of the home plus commute).
Somehow we manage to do all housework, laundry, shopping etc as well. We stagger our hours, do carpool, and manage kids with special needs (medical and learning issues).
So why do you get it over someone like me who is actively trying to meet the tuition payments?!
Sorry but you won't get sympathy from me... somehow I do it all and still need to beg for a discount. |
Just because you're able to do it doesn't mean everyone can. Seriously why are us women so hard on each other. It's not enough that we go through pregnancy and childbirth, caring for babies and taking on the lion's share of taking care of the children and housework, we need to work full time as well? Maybe another woman has harder pregnancies, has children that need more attention, or whatever. This attitude is not right.
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chestnut
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Today at 3:28 pm
| amother Tulip wrote: | Ok so I'm going to get tomatoes for saying this, but I think self care is very important. Do you think children are being raised with a good feeling for yiddishkeit if their mother is never home, always tense and annoyed when she is, and this is all so they can pay tuition? There's going to be a lot of resentment, not to mention emotional fallout from this.
Speaking as someone who works very full time and so does my husband, and we somehow make it work. I don't recommend this lifestyle at all. I see the price that needs to be paid and I don't think it's worth it. |
What's the choice? Be behind on tuition and have your kids not being let to take midterms or return to school after the break? Will they have a good feeling about yiddishkeit in this case?
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amother
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Today at 3:34 pm
| chestnut wrote: | | What's the choice? Be behind on tuition and have your kids not being let to take midterms or return to school after the break? Will they have a good feeling about yiddishkeit in this case? |
I was responding to a poster who said that families with a SAH mother shouldn't get scholarships. If this family is able to manage reduced tuition with the mother staying home (which many families can't), then why should that not be allowed?
The choice is also for her to work part time (not 40 hours plus commute) and pay what she can.
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