Pooling money vs. small teacher gift

amother

OP ↓

Today at 10:41 am

Curious as to other opinions.
I’m both a teacher and a mother at the school I work at. Every Chanukah, the PTA tries to collect money from everyone, pool it together, and give it out to all of the staff (not just teachers). I think it’s a beautiful idea, especially because it removes the hassle from the parents, and the support staff in the school get to be recipients as well, unlike the other scenario. I’m pretty sure they give out a card that has all the names of all the parents in the school who participated. As a teacher, The thought is super sweet, but I’m not looking through the note to see who in my class did and did not give.
I realized this year that I want my kids teachers to know how much I appreciate them, and I want them to know that I got something for them. So instead of being part of the group gift, this year, I’m doing my own gifts. Financially, I’m assuming it’s going to be about the same, I have to get a lot of very cheap gifts plus thank you cards etc. It’s not a headache for me because I enjoy doing it.

Should I feel bad that I’m not participating in the PTA thing? It’s a nice idea in theory but basically the teachers have no idea who gave money…

MiracleMama

Today at 10:50 am

amother OP wrote:

My honest opinion. The thought is so nice, but I'd rather have an extra $5 or $10 cash than some junk. Give with the PTA. Then write a thoughtful note to each teacher and you will accomplish your goal.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 10:56 am

The PTA gift is in form of a gift card.
The point is for the teacher to feel appreciation from the child’s parents. As a teacher, I definitely remember who gives me the little cute things more than who gave money (which I never end up finding out). No one had ever given money to the PTA and sent a letter to the teacher separately- I’ve gotten little gifts with a letter or money was donated without a letter.
(I also do try to buy something useful).

amother

Tanzanite

Today at 11:36 am

Instead of collecting money, the PTA should reach out to each parent (phone call or notes) to remind them to show appreciation to their teachers but let them give their gifts on their own. As a sibling of teachers, my sisters prefer when there is no class mother but rather the parents tip on their own, because when they collect, it's about $5 per student. When the parents tip on their own, it's AT LEAST $20 or more per student, so if only half the class gives, they still end up with way more!

Also I'm sure they'd appreciate cash more than a gift card.

flowerpower

Today at 11:46 am

I would contribute to the pta over giving little chachkes. Teachers have told me that they appreciate hand written notes a ton but all the mugs, spa sets, teacher pens… are not on top of their appreciation list. You can always give something at pta or send in randomly. Its nice to just cooperate with the rest of the class.

seeker ↓

Today at 1:44 pm

You can participate with the group and then also write a card saying that your gift was given with the group but you also want to relay your appreciation personally.

If you do prefer to go it alone and the amount you're spending is the same as you would give with the group (5? 10?) then make it a neutral gift card like Amazon or Visa (do they sell visas in small amounts? I don't know) because anything else of a $5-10 value is more likely to be annoying than enjoyable (gift card where you need to physically go to the right store to use? And then likely isn't enough to buy what you like, and maybe you don't have the freedom right now to top it up.)

↑ seeker ↓

Today at 1:48 pm

Also have mercy on the spouse and family. Dh and I are both teachers. If I get tchotchkes, I have no problem appreciating the sentiment and dumping the tchotchke into my next thrift store drop-off (cards with personal messages I often keep, at least for a while). Dh on the other hand feels the need to hold onto the sentimental objects and then I spend the next few years navigating around the extra clutter. If my dh teaches your kid please feel free to gift him with chocolate, I will take care of it a lot faster than the ceramic apple with the trite quote.

amother

Offwhite

Today at 1:49 pm

As a teacher, I hated when it was schoolwide and divided by all the teachers. It made no sense, as some classes had more kids, and some parents never participated or sent their own gift, so some teachers get way more. Also, they never included a list of who gave.
I much appreciate my current school, where it is done by class. I find I'm getting more money, and it actually comes from my parents, as opposed to the whole school.
I think gifting individually is great as it just shows appreciation. If you are worried they won't like it, a gift card to a favorite store or breakfast place is really nice and allows the teacher to treat themselves.

meiravit

Today at 2:42 pm

seeker wrote:

I agree with this. Contribute towards the group but send a meaningful note with specific thanks/praise, and start off with something like, "I contributed towards the class gift, but I felt I had to personally express my appreciation in writing yada yada."

Edited to add: I think it's important to join the main collection. If you want to add something in addition, that's fine. But if everyone gives individual gifts, it makes it harder for parents because you do need to spend more on individual gifts than on contributions to a big gift. So if you need to show more appreciation than usual, add on a nice note or an additional gift but don't stay out of the class gift.