If you or dh works late, do your big kids wait to light?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah

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amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 10:00 am

For those whose husbands or themselves work late and can't get out early on Chanukah, do your big kids wait for you to light or do they light themselves at the earliest zman.

amother

Ultramarine

Yesterday at 10:01 am

My husband no longer works very late, but when he did, we actually got the psak that it was better for me to light for the family at zman vs waiting for him to get home.

amother

Mocha ↓

Yesterday at 10:02 am

Once my boys where bar mitzva husband told them to light by zman without him. I decide what to do with little kids bases on their behavior at moment.
All is calm in big bro offering help them light then we go for it

amother

Zinnia

Yesterday at 10:04 am

We wait. But it probably depends on how late. At one point it may technically be too late to light.

lamplighter

Yesterday at 10:07 am

In my home growing up, my brothers did not wait.

amother

Slategray

Yesterday at 10:08 am

Kids light without dh at the correct time. We sing then and do activities.

When dh comes he lights and we sing again. Around 8-9 pm

When my kids were really little and too young too light I’d try to join my in town in laws a few nights for lighting. But as soon as my oldest was 5/6 we started lighting at home without dh.

(Now I have teen boys that come home from yeshiva at lighting time and then go back so they aren’t even home when dh comes home).

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 10:31 am

I wasn't thinking about the younger kids, will have to speak to dh and see what options we want to offer them. DH is home before 7 so we've always waited as a family and they liked waiting and lighting together but this is the first year I have a kid over bar/bas mitzvah and we were told they shouldn't wait. I have a feeling some of the younger kids are going to feel that they also need to light at the right time.

amother

Petunia

Yesterday at 10:19 pm

We don't wait because there's no telling when dh would be home. It could be 2 or 3 a.m. If we could rely on it's being 7 pm we would wait, but it's never before 10-ish at the earliest.

amother

Pansy

Yesterday at 10:20 pm

When dh worked late I lit with my kids earlier. I couldn't keep them up so late.

Molly Weasley

Today at 9:09 am

Chasdeim generally wait for family to gather.

amother

Brown

Today at 9:32 am

We don't.
We light at shkia or as close as possible.
Everyone lights when they get home

My mesivta boys come home, light, eat supper and then go back to yeshiva at 7/7:30 for nigh Seder and Mesibos.
My husband doesn't usually get home until 7.

My kids light. We do the whole singing, dancing thing. We eat supper.
Then my husband gets home, he lights. We sing and dance again. Then the boys go back.
Sometimes they miss him. That's life

This year, there are 2 legal holidays over Chanukah (1st and last night) so we'll have more time that everyone is home

amother

↑ Mocha

Today at 9:49 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

Chasdeim generally wait for family to gather.

There are many chasidem. No that is not true all around. The chasidem I live with (and in surrounding homes) run to maariv by zman on chanukah and light on time. If family member coming home later they light separately when come. Very common.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 10:22 am

amother Brown wrote:

Yes very happy that this will only be a factor 3 days this year. And very greatful that dh is home when he gets home, I forget there are people who get home long after the kids are sleeping

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