S/O Teen Safety | Imamother

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 11:50 am

amother Nasturtium wrote:

So the traffic is insane and a fatal crash is somehow supposed to happen?

We're talking about teens here. Not little children.

If cabs don't need seatbelts in the back seats or car seats for local traffic, I think you're being paranoid.

Did your mom never drive a full ride when you were a kid?

It's one thing if you're taking a highway, but local heavy traffic? That's exaggerating.

Suppose I got pulled over by a cop, is that something you don't worry about, if you don't care about safety or don't think it's an issue? 5 teens squished into my back seat would give me one hefty ticket.

Yeah my mom did all sorts of things when I was a kid that I don't do.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 11:54 am

BTW...when I was in high school, my relative, and the brother of another girl in my high school, died in a car accident that happened not very far from my home. Van hit a pole. Dark night. My neighbor - my age - had to be cut out from under the vehicle where he was trapped. Happened during local driving. You never heard of accidents that happened on local streets?

amother

DarkCyan

Yesterday at 12:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

Most accidents happen close to home.
You should be proud of yourself, you did the right thing.

amother

Currant

Yesterday at 10:28 pm

This is possibly one of the most insane threads I have ever read.
1) my parents taught me to ALWAYS wear a seatbelt. They did not turn on the car until everyone was buckled (back too) and not only would they not drive extra kids, if I was in such a situation, they would absolutely come and get me irrelevant if it was 2 am or not their turn to drive. AND I GREW UP IN THE 70’s!!!

You are the parents. You do not put your kid or other kids in danger. You should not just condone breaking the law which was designed for safety. You are a parent, not their friend. You don’t need to be cool. You can say no.

This is insane.

(I always wonder about the different demographics who have such varied opinions. I can imagine a single one of my friends/neighbors being OK with this.)

amother

Silver

Yesterday at 11:10 pm

Bay leaves wrote:

Would you send kids on a bus with no seatbelts?

Yes, and my kids are rear-facing till age 4 or they outgrow the car seat, and in a booster for as long as they need it for the seatbelt to hit correctly. Buses are different than cars because of how massive they are. In a crash between a bus and a car, the bus passengers should barely feel it. I'd probably suggest my kids buckle up on field trips, where highway speeds are involved, in case of collision with a semi or other large vehicle.

amother

↑ Pear

Yesterday at 11:16 pm

Bay leaves wrote:

Would you send kids on a bus with no seatbelts?

The way buses are made, each seat is its own small compartment.

"NHTSA decided the best way to provide crash protection to passengers of large school buses is through a concept called “compartmentalization.” This requires that the interior of large buses protect children without them needing to buckle up. Through compartmentalization, children are protected from crashes by strong, closely-spaced seats that have energy-absorbing seat backs."
https://dmv.vermont.gov/faq/wh.....belts

This plus seatbelts is obviously better, but anyhow can't be compared to a car. (The driver, who does not have this type of seat in front of them, will have a seatbelt.)

amother

↑ Dimgray ↓

Yesterday at 11:25 pm

No amount of safety measures makes driving safe.

It's completely irrational to treat the marginal differences in risk as though they're the only relevant factor in your decision, or even as though they're the only factor in your total risk.

Leaving someone stranded endangers them. Even leaving them to wait for a ride often increases the chances they'll come to harm, and depending on the circumstances, it can be much worse than the difference in risk between driving with a seatbelt vs driving without one.

essie14

Today at 1:04 am

My kids know that everyone has to buckle up in my car. Adults and children. I don't move out of Park until everyone is buckled.
DD buckles if she's in someone else's car.
If kids asked me for a ride and I didn't have enough room I'd let them use my phone to call their own parents.
Although the culture in our neighborhood is to arrange rides before the event.

amother

↑ Watermelon

Today at 1:15 am

I can only say wow. There is such a big culture difference between what is being posted here and my community.

Every baby is in a safe seat, no shared seat belts for kids, booster seats until they are not needed, etc.

Last week we went to an event, quite far along country roads in dark and rainy conditions. S'one asked if I could take their kid but I already had a carful so said no, no question asked, totally accepted.

Even when I was a child if anyone unstrapped my mom would stop the car at a safe place and wait for them to redo their seatbelt. Sat in the car until every1 belted in. Often took 2 cars (1hired) if a whole family daytrip because we didn't all fit into 1 van).

I don't understand how people can be so careful with the details of some aspects of our lives related to certain mitzvot or heath issues going round multiple doctors looking for the top one for whatever but ignore other basic things that are literally pikuach nefesh. It is also a mitzva to keep your kids safe in a car. It just doesn't make any sense

amother

Daylily

Today at 2:56 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

Staying home is safer than using a seatbelt. Why would you take the risk of driving just because it's legal?

You are supposed to follow the law of the land.

And whoever said sealbelts in backseats are a recent obligation, not in the UK. My kids knew to tell their friends 20 yrs ago to buckle up or we wouldn't be going anywhere.

As kids we would sit in the boot of our estate car and colour although my parents were generally very safety conscious, and they would squeeze kids in at the back. Times move on. There's loads of things done differently now because we know better - like not to smoke.

amother

Butterscotch

Today at 4:58 am

My teen knows exactly how many people we can take and won't ask to take any more. I also don't start the car until everyone is buckled. I'm flabbergasted that people are raising their children not to buckle automatically.

My daughter attends a school around a 25 minute drive from our neighborhood. Usually there's a bus, but on federal holidays or other occasions someone needs to drive. We have a parent chat for carpool and often have to split the carpool into 2 cars if all the girls are going on any particular day. If there's no room there is no room and there's no question of squishing more girls in.

amother

Crimson

Today at 5:17 am

I would not drive. I would stay until the girls got rides, and they might not get them all together. As a mother, if I tell my kid "Please get a ride home", I follow up with "and if you can't, call me and I will come out." If I know I can't, I confirm a ride in advance. Our bigger problem is when the ride unexpectedly takes more kids than safe- my kids will get out and find something else, if they know right then.

And while dc are no stranger to being embarrassed by me, we have an arrangement that if they ever know they should say no to something but feel embarrassed or scared to do it for themselves, they dump it on me- "My mother is so annoying! She's so strict about this. But I can't lose phone privileges..."

BTW, the bigger issue we have is friends driving, and their need to not take more than one passenger legally. Not as simple.