S/o sideways Doona

amother

Rose ↓

Yesterday at 11:51 am

I hate generalizing but there definitely seems to be a huge difference between OOT and in town in this regard. I recently moved to NY and am horrified at how many people just don’t care about car seat safety here. I also think it’s horrible how many more terrible accidents you hear about here (NY and Lakewood)-I don’t ever remember hearing so many accident stories especially involving children in my OOT neighborhood before.

amother

Bluebell

Yesterday at 11:56 am

Yes I also was going to say this. I see such things so often! And also yeah most kids here in Brooklyn are out of boosters earlier than 9(!). I wonder if we just live more stressful lives here in the NY and lakewood areas. People say OOT quieter areas cause you to be more calm. And life is much less stressful. I feel this is connected to the whole car safety issue. I'm not so good at explaining how exactly. but it's a feeling I have.

amother

↑ Darkblue

Yesterday at 11:57 am

amother Bronze wrote:

As someone in Lakewood, it is not social suicide. And it’s so annoying when I need to drive your kid home and explain in my car they will sit in a booster and wear seatbelts because no one is dying in my car on my watch. And yes I spend time educating the like of you. And I think it’s terrible that you all contribute to the problem together. There are plenty of us who do the right thing. And was a 5 year old boy in our neighborhood, not in a booster, dying because of it not enough to shake you up? You can laugh. I cried that day and said why are we like this, why can’t we do better.

I’m not disagreeing with you. I’m just here to say what the reality is. I don’t think that these threads portray that at all. If anything I want to being awareNess that this is the situation and that it’s not ok. I think that we let go of things as a community due to the challenges of having large families with lots of kids to fit in cars and lots of carpools to drive. And then it just becomes normal to be lax about car safety. This is the reality the way I see it . I’m in monsey btw

amother

↑ Chocolate

Yesterday at 12:07 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

These car seat/ booster threads make me almost laugh. It must be that 90% of those living in tristate area are too afraid to post but we’re all in the same boat. It is obviously a few posters who are vocal about following the safely standards and go on about how can the safety of our kids not be the most important…when what I see in reality is completely different. What I see is kids start sitting in front seat from about age 10. And kids are out of boosters from about age 4,5. I’m not saying at all that that this is what I agree with. I’m saying this is what I see. This is just the reality. If I’d make my kid sit in a booster past age 6 (one poster said her 9 yr old is still in a booster!!) then it’s literally be social suicide for that kid. Let me repeat this is what I see, not what necessarily makes sense to me. So I just laugh at these threads because They’re always the same with just a few vocal posters who scare away everyone else. Maybe they live out of town and these rules are followed the way they should be there- I wouldn’t know.

As someone in nyc who takes car seat safety very seriously, I gotta wonder if it's common to be negligent or it just stands out when you see it because it's shocking.

Also btw age is not a good indicator. My 10yo is almost my height & over 100lb, maybe I also shouldn't be allowed in the front seat.

amother

↑ Chartreuse

Yesterday at 12:12 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

I agree, most people aren't posting on this group because they dont feel the need to be screamed at.
I think there is a middle line between putting a big four year old rear facing and having six kids including a newborn in a sedan.

↑ giftedmom ↓

Yesterday at 12:18 pm

IDK I guess I’m an anomaly then. I’m very strict with car seat safety especially on longer trips. A few blocks or if we’re taking an uber I’ll let a little kid use a seatbelt. But with highways my kids are always in boosters til they’re 8 (a lot more comfy for them they have support when they fall asleep), and we always always use seatbelts even if we’re taking an uber for 3 blocks. I always think about the couple and their unborn baby who passed away when they were ejected from their car service. My kids always see me belting.

amother

↑ Trillium

Yesterday at 1:21 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

It's so sad that people are ok with it so it becomes the normal, doesn't mean we can just do like everyone else.
I live in a community in Israel that takes these things really lax. It makes me cry when I see my 10 month niece in her new car-seat -a forward facing high back booster - 'but it says it was from her weight' was the parents reply. I see parents driving with their 3 yr olds standing in the front seat, a neighbour has a 5 seater and 6 kids. DD said the 3 triplets are 2 and sit in car seats (I think, definitely in the seats) and the older 3 sit by their legs -oldest is 7.
My kids know that I love them to much that's why they need to sit according to regulations. Every time they ask to sit without a booster or something else that is the answer, 'I knows other people might do it but it's dangerous and I love you too much I won't forgive myself if you get hurt chas veshalom'
So we might be the only ones who have the right seats for the kids but I'm proud of it.
I'm pregnant with my 4th IYH soon and we are either going to upgrade to a 7 seater or sell the car if we can't afford it. It's life, if we don't fit we can't use it. I don't want to put myself in a position of having a car and just squeezing in for a short ride.

STAND ABOVE THE CROWD AND BE PROUD!

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Yesterday at 1:27 pm

amother Chocolate wrote:

You can’t compare the spine post puberty to pre puberty. Your spine can handle the front seat his can’t no matter how big he is.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Yesterday at 2:17 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

I don’t know where you live, but where I live most people are restraining their kids appropriately. Here and there (very very rarely) I will see a kid not restrained. I take home 3 7/8 year olds 2x/week (one of them is mine) Mine is technically big enough to be out of a booster, but she wants to be in the booster because her friends are.

https://I.imgur.com/Lt4Mp29.jpeg

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Yesterday at 2:20 pm

amother Rose wrote:

NY is a very big place, and not all cities are created equal. Perhaps where you live people are more lax, but that’s not the case for the entire NY.

amother

Catmint ↓

Yesterday at 3:49 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

If I am going around the corner or a few blocks away within the neighborhood ie. not crossing intersections with traffic lights, then I will let them be unstrapped while I drive super slow. No, I don’t think this is the best or smartest thing to do and I know it’s risky. But I’m 9 months pregnant and they’re not at the age yet where they can strap themselves in and I’m going 2 blocks away in a very quiet out of town neighborhood, so some times I choose not to overexert myself and juts slowly drive where we need to go. I pretend like I’m pulling a wagon with unstrapped kids inside, and then I remind myself to go slow.

I’m so sorry to let you know that driving slowly will not protect you or your kids from other drivers who are speeding or not stopping at the light/crosswalk etc. We were in just such an accident driving slowly but the other driver didn’t stop and crashed right into us. B”h we were all strapped so we were all fine but our car was completely totaled.

amother

↑ Catmint ↓

Yesterday at 3:53 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

A 5 year old not in a booster just using a seatbelt was killed near me in a car accident. Don’t do it ever. I can’t stress this enough. You need a better plan. Your kids lives matter. You cannot have an 8 year old in a front seat.

Yeah crazy story, but there’s a reason that kids that age still need a booster, the straps hit them in the wrong place. And when an accident happens and the straps do their job of holding a person back but the straps are in the wrong place is the difference between life and death.

amother

↑ Catmint ↓

Yesterday at 3:59 pm

amother Begonia wrote:

FYI if you are lazy, only buckle the bottom not the chest strap. It’s very dangerous that way. More than not Being belted.
My chest straps broke and the car seat company didn’t want to give me new ones they said the car seat can function without it and in case of an accident it can injure the kid by pressing on the chest they said it’s even illegal in some places.

You probably could have reported them to the car seat certification company, possibly the NHTSA.

As an aside they are correct about other countries it being illegal but they are so wrong as in those countries the straps are positioned differently. The car seats in Europe / Israel etc without the chest clip are not the exact same as the USA and they just add the chest clip. (The straps in Europe are placed in a closer V formation as opposed to the wider V in the USA. )

ETA: I see you said it’s Clek and someone linked the article Clek has on their site. I still wonder what the NHTSA would say to this and what would insurance say in case of an accident.

amother

↑ Catmint ↓

Yesterday at 4:10 pm

Sorry everyone there is no excuse no matter what that you can sell me that it’s ok to have unbuckled kids in the car.

I’d rather walk or borrow a car with car seats than go in a car service. Honestly there have been 2/3 times where I had no choice as walking would’ve been 1.5hours each way and I’ve taken an Uber but I avoid it at all costs. (And then I usually put the kid on my lap so I’m sort of a booster or at least take off the shoulder strap if I have 2 kids with me).
But if you have your own car and have car seats use them! Or buy or borrow or go to a Gemach if you can’t afford one.

amother

↑ Rose

Yesterday at 4:56 pm

There are constant posts on this website about concerns for damaging children spiritually. Blocking internet, certain singers, yeshivas with no boys looking at filth etc…but somehow worrying about their physical safety is much lower on the list. Keeping your kid in a car seat is seen as “nerdy” and makes other people less likely to want to carpool with you but maybe we should be equally concerned with keeping our kids safe and alive as we are about the music they listen to.

amother

↑ Blonde

Yesterday at 6:12 pm

amother Outerspace wrote:

I have a 6 year old that refuses to be strapped in. She sits in a booster , no seatbelt.
Throw tomatoes. She refuses. We still drive places. Will update when she dies.

Btw in Israel it’s legal to strap rear facing car seats in front seat.

What do you mean she refuses?? You are the parent you make the rules. It is that easy. Does she make all life and death decisions at 6 years old? I am definitely not a strict parent and even I would say: you are either strapped in or staying home. And since you aren't allowed to be homr alone, you have no choice!
There are things kids can decided at that age. If they want the blue dress or the black one. But they can't make the decision to put their life on the line because they aren't capable of understanding the consequences. It seems like you haven't understood that either unfortunately. I hope you do change your mind for your childs sake.

↑ giftedmom ↓

Yesterday at 6:16 pm

amother Blonde wrote:

I wonder if this mother would let her 6 year old cross the street by herself because “she insists”?