S/o sideways Doona

amother

SandyBrown

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 8:02 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

If I am going around the corner or a few blocks away within the neighborhood ie. not crossing intersections with traffic lights, then I will let them be unstrapped while I drive super slow. No, I don’t think this is the best or smartest thing to do and I know it’s risky. But I’m 9 months pregnant and they’re not at the age yet where they can strap themselves in and I’m going 2 blocks away in a very quiet out of town neighborhood, so some times I choose not to overexert myself and juts slowly drive where we need to go. I pretend like I’m pulling a wagon with unstrapped kids inside, and then I remind myself to go slow.

The danger is someone crashing into you. A relative of mine died in a cash on his own block.

For me I try my absolute hardest but it’s more behavioral- my 4 year old knows to unbuckle and I can’t just stop driving endlessly. I try charts and routines etc and hope it gets better (it’s pretty rare bh but if u see it that’s what’s happening)

amother

Dahlia

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 8:28 pm

My kids sometimes unbuckle themselves. When that happensI pull over as soon as I can and rebuckle, but it can really a minute until I find a safe place to stop.

I have a hard time taking home my 7/8 year olds friends because their mothers don’t enforce seat belt buckling and think I’m the meanest for making sure they are buckled in. It’s a fight every time with them. And I promise you their moms are regular nice ladies if a bit chilled or overwhelmed.

My daughter told me dh wasn’t buckling her in, you can bet I gave it to him.

amother

Pistachio ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 8:41 pm

I am pretty strict about seatbelts in general.

But 5yo dc is sometimes not in a booster, just a regular belt, because it is so hard to get it in the back seat with 2 other car seats. I have put an 8yo in the front seat because all the back seats are taken (seat pushed back as far as possible, airbag off).

And I have thought I buckled in a child or buckled in a car seat and then discovered to my horror that I hadn't.

I don't minimize the dangers, I try my best to be careful, but I am not perfect.

amother

↑ Chambray ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 9:20 pm

I don’t pull out of my driveway or parking spot until every single person in the car is buckled. Even if it takes a few extra minutes.

And for the reference, it doesn’t help for a child to be buckled if they aren’t buckled properly (the chest buckle doesn’t belong at the legs, twisted straps) or in a seat that’s not for their age, height…

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 9:33 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

A 5 year old not in a booster just using a seatbelt was killed near me in a car accident. Don’t do it ever. I can’t stress this enough. You need a better plan. Your kids lives matter. You cannot have an 8 year old in a front seat.

amother

↑ Chambray ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 9:41 pm

A child can not sit on a regular seat until they r tall enough that their knees naturally bend at the end of the seat. The seatbelt will not fit them properly.
My 9 year old is begging me to sit on a regular seat but she isn’t tall enough so she’s still in a booster

amother

↑ Pistachio ↓

Yesterday at 12:47 am

amother Bronze wrote:

My better plan is a bigger vehicle. Hashem doesn't agree.

My hishtadlus is not to double buckle and to make sure all kids are restrained, that's the best I can do.

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Yesterday at 12:53 am

amother Pistachio wrote:

My better plan is a bigger vehicle. Hashem doesn't agree.

My hishtadlus is not to double buckle and to make sure all kids are restrained, that's the best I can do.

You have to go in shifts. And I know many people who had to do that. And chose to either not take all kids or to go back and forth with multiple drop offs, or ask for safe rides. It’s not always easy but we can’t take short cuts with our kids lives. So much so that it’s best to hold off having another kid if you can’t upgrade to fit them all safely.

amother

↑ Pistachio

Yesterday at 1:03 am

amother Bronze wrote:

I'm already going in shifts. I have to leave an adult or older child with one of the shifts or I have a different safety issue, so I can't do more shifts.

Believe it or not, your kids are also not living risk-free. Seat pushed back and airbag off is a reasonable choice when there isn't a better option, although it is less than ideal.

cookier ↓

Yesterday at 1:10 am

amother Lavender wrote:

Not me but DH often only does the chest straps in the car seat. It makes me so nervous but I can’t control it if I’m not there

Please let him know that the chest straps most often break in an accident! They’re only for positioning, not restraint. I realize the crotch buckle is more of a patchke but if he’s only going to do one buckle it should be that one!

amother

Chartreuse ↓

Yesterday at 4:37 am

I grew up with always double buckling and were all fine bh.
Statistically most crashes happen near the house because most often people are doing local drives.
All my kids do have car seats but there has been times I forgot to buckle my baby. I put him in the car seat in the store without buckling and forgot to buckle when I got to the car.
I do take taxis with my kids not in car seats. They sit nicely and it's impossible to shlep the car seat.
I think people dramatize the risks and dangers.
Ive been in crashes where I wasn't following the rules (seat belt, wrong seat) and they were high impact crashes and im fine bh.
My husband is more careful then me so in our car we follow the rules. Except rear facing that we switch when the kid isnt happy.

↑ missmuffetsmum ↓

Yesterday at 5:22 am

So interesting to hear the couple of responses that people bravely gave. Not that I agree with them, but I appreciate the honesty.

Personally, our car was hit as we reversed out of our driveway - the oncoming car slowed for us, the car behind him kept going... BH no kids in the car, but even that impact totalled our car.

I dunno, I just can't see myself driving anywhere without having everyone buckled in properly.

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Yesterday at 7:50 am

amother Chartreuse wrote:

I mean death is dramatic, so excuse me while I try to raise awareness that I know dead children whose would be alive if they had been in a car properly. And never ever use a car seat in a store without strapping the baby in, that’s a massive strangulation risk and babies die that way. Car seats are not strollers the angle is not safe if not buckled. Hence the reason doonas are a safety hazard.

Ema of 5 ↓

Yesterday at 7:53 am

amother Trillium wrote:

My family were in an accident round the corner from the house on a small side street. The drivers was going slow but had to stop to give way to the other car, she mistakenly hit the gas instead of brakes.
BH nothing much more than whiplash but it made a different that it was 11 + 14 yr old sitting nicely and not toddlers or young kids.

I was in an accident 2 blocks from my house. BH I was wearing my seatbelt, because I felt myself be thrown sideways from the impact. I was backing up into a driveway to turn around, my car was blocking the entire street. A car came barreling down the street out of nowhere and hit me between the driver door and the back door. I have a car seat there, BH my daughter wasn’t in the car at the time.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Yesterday at 7:56 am

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

Most accidents happen within 10 miles of home.
There are idiots on the road.
I got hit once when someone backed out of a driveway and didn't look. We were safe, going slow... they didn't look at us at all.
Or crazy drivers who use cell phones.

This is not an excuse. Don't drive if you can't buckle them in. Walk or put them in that wagon.

Oh I forgot, that happened to me too! I was at a red light, and someone backed out of their driveway and hit my car. BH everyone was ok, but I was terrified when my baby didn’t cry.
I was also rear ended at a red light. BH no kids in the car at the time.

amother

Outerspace

Yesterday at 8:16 am

I have a 6 year old that refuses to be strapped in. She sits in a booster , no seatbelt.
Throw tomatoes. She refuses. We still drive places. Will update when she dies.

Btw in Israel it’s legal to strap rear facing car seats in front seat.

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Yesterday at 8:19 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

Why does a 6 year old control you? Does she generally get to refuse things and you just go along with it? Take parenting classes if you need to, but at 6 you have plenty you can do to make it non negotiable. There is zero excuse for your negligence here, a 6 year old doesn’t get to decide anything.