How much $ is normal for kallah housewares?

amother

Molasses

Today at 10:02 am

joonabug wrote:

what in the world makes a set of linen so special that it should be worth 500 dollars??

When my younger sister got married, she got expensive linen sets in that price range. (my father could afford and gladly paid whatever she got). She got only two sets though. they had suede/velvet trim. She told me after that she regretted those sets - they are unduly hot and she should have stuck to less costly cotton.
I didn't bother with these types of frills for my own daughter. We got nice quality sets in the $300 range.

amother

Blush

Today at 10:11 am

What is wrong with regular linen?
I got married with bed bath and beyond of blessed memory basics. Like $2-30 sheet sets and got 2 sets of 2 twins. (We don't need white but they had pure white sheer sets as well).

Lasted me a decade or more with us abusing them badly. We didn't treat them kindly at all. If we were nicer to the sheets it would have lasted even longer. I put them in the wash with anything, on any temperature, dried them, kids played with them and made tents with them... always was using one set as one to wash one to use.
Replaced with target. Works perfectly.
I don't want stuff that I need to take care of. It should serve me.

Fancy doesn't necessarily last longer.

Also in terms of random gadgets and stuff... so much stuff just doesn't get used. Or we don't know where we will be living and the trash can won't fit. The best gifts were bed bath and beyond gift cards (today amazon) so when I realized our knives didn't slice or we needed kitchen towels- done! Instead of getting another vase. When I dont buy flowers.

amother

Plum

Today at 10:15 am

5k is not alot.
Linen sets can cost to the tune of $800 nowadays.
I'm not saying you have to get all of them for that price but your daughter is honest when she says that girls get the things she mentioned.

They actually get much more in the real world. (Not imamother where people live in an ideal world...)

Welcome to marrying off a daughter. Its a lot of money!

↑ Chayalle ↓

Today at 10:18 am

amother Plum wrote:

"girls get" is not a reason to blow your budget on standards that are unnecessary. It's fine to tell your daughters a budget and set standards of your own. I do think there's room to make a Kallah feel special, but within reason. $800 sets just because they exist and there are people who spend is not reason enough for me.

amother

Feverfew

Today at 10:22 am

amother Plum wrote:

What I don’t get il though is the capitulating to ‘but so and so gets xyz) Because this value doesn’t start now at age 20 (or whatever) It starts as soon as they are 5 and go to a play date and their friend has American Girl doll, or they go to another friend and they have a trampoline/scooter/dollhouse. There will AlWAYS be things that other people have. ALWAYS. I tell my kids starting from when they are young that there will always be friends who have more and friends who have less. There will always be things that we have that others dont and things other people have that we don’t. That’s LIFE. I don’t get why people are afraid to say this to their kids (whether adult or children) Money is finite for most people. Why do we think that everyone ‘gets’ the same things?

↑ Chayalle ↓

Today at 10:22 am

amother Blush wrote:

What makes linen "regular"? Is BB&B more "regular" than linen from elsewhere?
Many frum people do not get twin beds. Personally I have 48". Plus I prefer duvet covers to flat sheets. I have found I can get duvet sets in some not-frum stores, and I can use full-sheets in some situations, but not always. It doesn't usually come out as cheap as you describe, though.

It's interesting that people have mentioned Ikea and Target, some as if they were inferior. I want to point out they have different levels of quality, and some Ikea sets are great (and some are cheap). Some Target sheet sets (like their superior supima cotton) are not cheap (they can be costly even) and are of really excellent quality. I have gotten sheet sets at the end of the season on sale, and they are better than frum-store quality (IMHO).

amother

Aubergine

Today at 10:28 am

amother Taupe wrote:

One white, and two colored.
A basic set is $300-$500. This poster probably included pillows and the duvet cover there.
I have a bedspread. I think it is necessary. I sewed it myself to save money. I also sewed one colored linen set. $3.5k is not outrageous.
OP- if you want to find out what normal is, call up the chasuna mall near you and ask them how much the housewares package is. Then add 10% and that is probably average.

3.5 on linens even if including pillows and duvet is outrageous. Even if the oilam is doing it it is still outrageous. The chasuna mall is a business. Out to make money. People cqn live without half the things they arecselling in the package. My parents and in laws dis not buy us "everything " no diningroom set, or dinette set (small table and chairs under $100. We also didn't throw out all the brand new furniture they bought us because it didnt fit or because we moved and it was out of style.
Win win

amother

Wine

Today at 10:34 am

My kids know me as a broken record.
" There will always be people who have more than you and people who have less than you, if you focus on those who have more you will want more, if you look at those who have less you will feel grateful. You choose".
My kids are not wedding age yet but I hope this chinuch plays out positively when we get to that stage iyh.

↑ Chayalle

Today at 10:36 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

I also think that if you give your kids a balanced chinuch where they don't get everything just because it's there and exists and others have....then the areas where you do get them extras, they are more likely to appreciate it and use it long-term, without the "throw it out" "get rid of" mentality because there's something new in style.