How much $ is normal for kallah housewares?

amother

Scarlet

Yesterday at 10:05 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

One white, and two colored.
A basic set is $300-$500. This poster probably included pillows and the duvet cover there.
I have a bedspread. I think it is necessary. I sewed it myself to save money. I also sewed one colored linen set. $3.5k is not outrageous.
OP- if you want to find out what normal is, call up the chasuna mall near you and ask them how much the housewares package is. Then add 10% and that is probably average.

I've never paid more than $30 for a set of linen, even when I got married. To each their own I guess.

amother

↑ Myrtle

Yesterday at 10:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sorry took so long to get back onto the thread.
I spent around 350 per set of linen, total 1k for 3 sets.
Add in the pillows, blankets, mattress protectors, pillow protectors, etc
Plus shower curtain, towels, etc
Housewares I do not feel I spent extra on the regular.
The extras were on shabbos table settings, China, cutlery, chargers (from Amazon) and napkin rings (Amazon, too!)
What I also feel was extra was a Bosch mixer, and she chose nice white tablecloth ($150)
I did not get these things as a kallah.
On the other hand, she did not get any gifts at her vort.
I feel that the truth with this and most thiings in life is that whoever you will ask will have gotten something. Each friend will have gotten something and if she asks each friend, she will come out with a full list of things that she "must" get.
I am not the type of mother to just give in to everything, but was curious where people draw the line
I guess it really depends on your circles. (I'm chassidish)

The Bosch mixer and luxury tablecloths and yes even the chargers are stuff that should be on a registry or be given as gifts. If nobody is giving that, not even friends (my relatives chipped in to get bosch/Braun, that was their wedding present for the nieces) then yes your personal bill will be crazy high.

That said, she still doesn't need chargers to get married.

amother

Periwinkle

Yesterday at 10:43 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

Will you have your set for 30 years? So far I have mine for 16.
Also to the amother who said why not just a white sheet? It's because we believe you need a FULL white set, including pillow cases. My pillow cases do have embroidery, but some people don't even do that.

I got married 12 years ago. bought 2 sets of linen from elegant linen for $500 each. they are lasting beautifully and do not need to be replaced. woudl I love fresh sets? yes. but I'm not spending now.
I have two cheap ikea/target sets for my kids that are going on 3 years. they are garbage. I'm not saying you need to spend 1k per set. but yes, spending on decent quality linen is a normal investment and is not called over the top.

amother

↑ Daffodil ↓

Today at 12:24 am

amother Pearl wrote:

20 yr later same bedroom set, dinette set and dining room set. (The dining room chairs are starting to go but the rest of it is amazing).
I’m so grateful I got amazing quality so didn’t have to buy over and over again.
Even my couch I only replaced recently after 15 years.
If you aren’t set on trendy furniture having top quality can save you money for many years down the line.

True, but this can be a decision you and your dh make further down the road. It's a risk to do it at this stage because you don't have an idea if it will or won't work in you future home. So it's anyone's guess for whom it will or won't work out.

And moreover, why should financially strapped parents need to fork over 20k that they don't have, to buy a newlwed couple such costly furniture.

Get the young couple cheap ikea furniture. The couple can then later decide on their own time and on their own dime what furniture they want to purchase. Win-win: the young couple will purchase furniture that fits their home, and the parents don't have to go into 20k debt to pay for furniture.

amother

↑ Daffodil ↓

Today at 12:28 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

There is a happy medium. It doesn't need to be $50 target sets, and it doesn't need to be $500 linen either. There are plenty of quality, long lasting, comfortable linen in the $150-$200 price range.

And if it's the beauty and style of the expensive set that you prefer - it makes a great gift that your dh can get for you later.

(Besides, many young couples start off with twin size beds in their small apartment, then later upgrade to bigger size beds when they move.)

amother

↑ Pearl

Today at 12:52 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

You realize sets that were 200-300 - 12 years ago - have almost doubled due to inflation.
You cannot compare prices to even 5 years ago in some of the local stores.

↑ chestnut

Today at 1:03 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Your parents or you were obviously able to afford it. 12 y ago I had no idea $500 linen sets existed and if you told me about it, I'd have asked if they had real gold threads in them or something.
Parents shouldn't worry how to pay for the wedding, so that their married child is set with the furniture, linen, tableware for the next 20 y!

logical

Today at 1:42 am

amother Taupe wrote:

I got a basic set. it was $99. In a fancy chasidish monsey store. the nice set I got was $300.
3.5K seems very expensive.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Today at 1:57 am

amother OP wrote:

If you can return the chargers and napkin rings then do so. Only one poster so far has had real use of chargers and *nobody* needs napkin rings. Napkin rings you gift people who already have everything basic & more.
Napkin rings are just ornamental and will soon be played with (and broken) by kids.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Today at 2:04 am

amother Taupe wrote:

OP probably bought Corelle for vochen dishes and may have let her daughter splurge and buy a Noritake set for Shabbos. We don't know since she did not explain what she bought. It is definitely an extra and OP said that. But it might not be as BIG of a splurge as some people imagine when they hear china.

I bought Noritake for Pesach since we do not use plastic or paper goods on Pesach as a chumra and the set was on sale and I paid $300 for the entire thing which had 12 settings and included soup bowls. It is a splurge, but not the same as china that $100 a setting. I could have purchased a Corelle set, but chose this because it was Pesach.

I understand your point ( I got a very soft spot for nice tablewear)
That said, you chose and paid for it for yourself. There is a big difference between being gifted vs forking out $300 yourself.

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Today at 2:18 am

amother OP wrote:

Your observation is correct.
She needs to understand there's basic and then there's is extra. Parents are not required to pray for extras.

↑ Chayalle ↓

Today at 10:00 am

amother OP wrote:

So we felt that 2 sets of linen were sufficient. Spent about the same price range as you, but one less set. Pillows, blankets, etc...we found great prices on Amazon. Towels I found Lands End was best. Shower curtains from Home Goods. My girls did get a nice amount of gifts, between coworkers, our shul, relatives, friends, and they pooled that for China and Stemware. I did not buy them chargers or napkin rings - those are definitely extras they can splurge on themselves if they want it. Nor did I buy them a bosch - that is their own expense. I recall them getting a tablecloth as a gift.
I probably also saved significantly because we qualified to buy housewares from our local Kallah organization (they have different levels, but almost anyone can buy from them at cost-low price, which definitely cut down on expenses. We didn't choose to buy everything from them since we were paying - for example my girls preferred other linen - but we did get cutlery, dishes, food processor, pots, microwave, urn, toaster oven from them.)