Do u get a weekly allowance from ur husband?

amother

Ultramarine

Yesterday at 12:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

If yes what's the normal amount ppl get that have 3 kids.. grocery carservice and cleaning help not included..

No. We have 3 accounts. 1 together and 2 separate. Whatever is my account I spend however I like. I always had my own income though even if it was very little at times.
My mom used to get an allowance. But whenever she needed more she just told my father and he went to the bank to get more.
They did have a neighbor whose husband was very stingy. My mother was always horrified because that poor woman really didn't get any more money and he even yelled at her when she had nothing left. Even though she only ever bought groceries and stuff for the family.
If I didn't have income I would say: I need 200 dollars for tomorrow for xyz and then I would expect him to get that from the bank or I would say I am gonna spend 200$ tomorrow and then use the card.

NechaMom ↓

Yesterday at 12:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

If yes what's the normal amount ppl get that have 3 kids.. grocery carservice and cleaning help not included..

Most people don't live off cash so there's no concept of "getting" anything physical. We each have a debit and credit card from our joint account and we know what we can and can't afford and spend responsibly. I believe everyone's budget will be completely different according to their income. There's no norm. Why are you asking? Are you trying to see if a certain amount makes sense? Then you'd have to tell us your income too.

nomismommy

Yesterday at 12:55 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

No. Most husbands are not giving their wives spending money. Its not the 1950 anymore.

That's unnecessarily rude. It's not any womans fault if her husband gives her only an allowance. You can be rude to those husbands but the wives??? That's just mean.

dws1219

Yesterday at 12:59 pm

NechaMom wrote:

I second that

Molly Weasley

Yesterday at 1:00 pm

I feel like I can cry.

Why are you ganging up on her??!?!?? She did nothing wrong!!!

There's no reason to make her feel bad, even if your situation is different than hers. What's wrong with you?!?

She asked an innocent question, and if you have a problem with her husband don't take it out on her!!

↑ NechaMom

Yesterday at 1:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

I ment weekly spending money..

Do you only live off cash and your husband is the one who works? Do you have your own debit or credit card? Most people have their own card but if you only use cash and your husband is the only one who works then I understand your question. Still, the answers would differ in every home.

small bean ↓

Yesterday at 1:07 pm

We don't do this but I don't think it's unreasonable to have a weekly budget for discretionary spending. If your husband does the finances, it's fine for him to say how much based on income is reasonable to spend outside of regular expenses.

amother

Darkblue

Yesterday at 1:07 pm

No.
Other than paying the bills (dhs responsibility) and grocery, more tights or other weekly/monthly expenses we discuss before buying if it's more than let's say $100 or so.

That includes seasonal shopping. "I'd like to go shop for the kids clothing or myself next week Wednesday is that ok" "how much do you need?" "Approximately $1,200"
I won't have the full amount Wednesday but $300 will be avaliable and the rest Wednesday night/thursday"
"OK fine. I'll go shop next Monday then. I'd appreciate if you can watch the toddler for me then."
"Sure. Let me check my chalendar to make sure no meedings at that time"
(He works from home flexible hours and can also work from phone while he supervises and then put baby for her 2.5 hour nap.)

For extras, we both try not to shop random items. He used to do that but doesn't anymore. If we want a coffee or a sandwich. We just buy it.
(Married Life amd raising a family is and should be a joint effort.
Although I know I'm extremely lucky dh is so flexible with his job and I totally am thankful for it! (His current job is a complete 180 from his previous job where he was out of the house 14+ hours 5x a week and up until zman on Friday. For over 10 years! So Bh bh bh for that!)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 1:11 pm

Peersupport wrote:

OP are you feeling like you are being financially controlled and need to give an accounting of every dollar you spend?

I don't get any money.. if I need money need to beg for it and tell him what I'm buying. Alot of times I just use his card without telling him and he is not happy.. so thought a weekly amount of money would be great.

↑ small bean

Yesterday at 1:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are you very tight financially?

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Yesterday at 1:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

He has a credit card but you dont? You should both have one if your account is a joint one.

lamplighter ↓

Yesterday at 1:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Does he have a rav he listens to? This isnt about a number this is about control. You should have your own card.

amother

Lightgreen ↓

Yesterday at 1:18 pm

Allowance?
No way.
I have open access to credit cards . Sometimes have more cash on hand than other times. Definitely before cleaning lady hubby knows I need set amount. But I have full access to money and can spend as needed.
Not wealthy by any means

amother

Nutmeg

Yesterday at 1:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

If your DH is open to it, I think it would be very helpful for you to make a cheshbon of an approximate amount of money you need per week so you don't constantly have to ask for money. That must be stressful.

Raisin

Yesterday at 1:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don't think this is normal.

Are you a SAHM?

Even if you are, you should still have access to money, just like he does.

Remind him that you are looking after his children, which enables him to earn a living.

We have a joint account that both our salaries go into, and we decide together how to spend.

Neither of us are unreasonable spenders though, I suppose it would be more difficult if one of us was spending exceessively on things.

↑ Peersupport ↓

Yesterday at 1:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

That sounds really difficult to deal with. Is he controlling in other areas as well? Are you in therapy?