How much $ is normal for kallah housewares?

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 9:41 pm

I'm marrying off my first daughter. I am keeping track of my expenses. With me trying to be careful, and a daughter with fine taste, I already reached close to 5k!!!
I know there were some extras, such as Shabbos China and cutlery, plus extra table setting pieces, like chargers and napkin rings. My daughter says that many kallahs get the above.
This amount includes as well, linens, towels, bedding, and household supplies.
Is this amount normal?

amother

Blushpink ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 9:44 pm

It's not normal if you can't afford it. I didn't get shabbos dishes or cutlery. Definitely didn't dream of getting chargers and napkin rings. And bh I survived. You need to set a budget and stick to it despite what your daughter says everyone else does.

amother

Waterlily ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 9:45 pm

I think mine nearly 10 years ago was about 3k housewares (no Shabbos China or Kitchen aid, Bosch or vacuum) and 3.5k linens and bedding (3 sets)

amother

↑ Blushpink

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 9:48 pm

amother Waterlily wrote:

I think mine nearly 10 years ago was about 3k housewares (no Shabbos China or Kitchen aid, Bosch or vacuum) and 3.5k linens and bedding (3 sets)

That's insane to spend 3.5k on linens and bedding. And why anyone needs 3 sets is beyond me.

amother

Taupe ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 10:33 pm

amother Blushpink wrote:

That's insane to spend 3.5k on linens and bedding. And why anyone needs 3 sets is beyond me.

One white, and two colored.
A basic set is $300-$500. This poster probably included pillows and the duvet cover there.
I have a bedspread. I think it is necessary. I sewed it myself to save money. I also sewed one colored linen set. $3.5k is not outrageous.
OP- if you want to find out what normal is, call up the chasuna mall near you and ask them how much the housewares package is. Then add 10% and that is probably average.

amother

Quince

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 10:38 pm

If the dollar amount is crazy to you… then it’s crazy.

You can buy chargers for $20 on amazon. The expectations are too high… also when you’ve never had a household before you don’t actually know what you want. I put so many things on my registry that I didn’t even need or like when I received them.

I’d sloooow down… she’s in this hype mode and she can spend her own money on expensive chargers

amother

Camellia

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 10:41 pm

Agree that it’s a lot. Let’s say bedding for example - why get a full 500$ white set? I got myself a white sheet set on Amazon for about 30. There’s a lot of things like that where you can save a lot

mulberry

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 10:50 pm

I got most of my housewares from Macys. Really nice quality linen for about 100 dollars per set. That was my big splurge. My second set of linen was 40ish and still very nice. My dishes are beautiful and were very reasonable. If you can shop in stores that are large and have sales instead of the Jewish boutiques it is possible to save a lot of money.
I personally didn't get chargers or napkin rings. My friends who did got as gifts/registry.
Registries are a great way for parents to save and relatives to gift. My grandparents bought me my Bosch. His grandparents bought shabbos dishes. These were bonuses possible because of the registry I had.

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 11:36 pm

Yes. Lakewood here. We did TDL cost price (didn’t want to take tzedaka) Costco, Amazon, Walmart, some gift credits at Kitchen Clique and Westview etc. and got standard Lakewood housewares, maybe splurging a drop here and there like cookware. Including Braun, Bosch, Linen, and all china and housewares from pizza wheel to pillows, was around 5k. We went for best prices, sales, Kohl’s 40% off days etc. and did some very thorough price comparisons. We did not go for high end luxury items but did not go for Walmart junk or low end macys or kohls off brand stuff either . From experience it’s just not worth it. We wanted to give our daughter a good start.

We don’t buy $300 Wusthof knives, but the difference between a $30 icel or victorinox knife and the $5 dull ones my parents had that made kitchen prep torture, is huge and we did pay for acceptable quality.

So 5k is definitely within the ballpark.

amother

NeonBlue ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 11:38 pm

rose613 wrote:

Do people not have registries anymore? I registered for China, linens, all these things and got the bulk of it.

We dont know where the op is located. And a registry is really just a american thing.

↑ rose613

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 11:39 pm

amother NeonBlue wrote:

We dont know where the op is located. And a registry is really just an american thing.

She said 5k - that implies American. Cant imagine an Israeli kallah is expecting napkin rings and chargers either…

amother

↑ NeonBlue ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 11:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

Why the need for all of that? They can buy things as the years go in.
We got married with one set of fleishig dishes and silverwear. Wo uses napkin rings today?
Way less than 5k. Thats a bit insane. Unless one has that fluid smount to give.

amother

Khaki

Mon, Dec 09 2024, 11:55 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

Why not just get a white sheet? You can find cheep 100% cotton sheets in homegoods...
Idid not get married wifh shabbos dishes or cutlery - I plan on using my wrdding gift giftcertificates to the fancy local gift stores.
Aside - I got married a year ago and still didn't go yet... just didn't feel its necessary yet to start with it

amother

Violet

Yesterday at 12:30 am

amother Taupe wrote:

so crazy. what is wrong with bedding bought from target or amazon? so much cheaper, am I really living in such a differnt world to all of you??

amother

Springgreen

Yesterday at 12:30 am

I probably spent that amount around 15 years ago so doesn’t sound crazy, though some of it was covered by gift certificates from vort presents and grandparents. Most of my stuff has held up really well all these years, except for towels and linen that do go every 5 years. It is definitely worth it to buy quality because the junk just needs to be replaced by the new couple soon after, which isn’t fair to them. My dishes, small appliances and knives are still in heavy use, as are chargers and napkin rings, so if it is quality stuff and timeless style it’s worth it.

amother

Clover ↓

Yesterday at 12:40 am

I started buying and stockpiling when my oldest was about ten. She got to buy one set for her wedding, but the rest was what I had bought over the years. Same with a lot of the kitchen supplies.

I was able to buy on sale, but I don't know exactly what it came to. Because it had been spread over years, it wasn't an extra expense at the time of the wedding.

amother

cornflower

Yesterday at 12:41 am

Got married last year
Linen was 2k with pillows and duvet covers
Chargers and serving dishes I used the gift money from returned vort gifts
Mixer was gifted
Brought a lot from Costco Macy’s Amazon and home goods
Bh was over Black Friday
I didn’t compromise on quality but really shopped around

I spent around 4K on houseware( not including linen)
I feel that I was set up extremely nicely and I am very grateful

chestnut ↓

Yesterday at 1:11 am

I don't understand how ppl spend 2-3K on linen. How much are nice but not the most expensive sets of linen in Jewish stores these days (which come with duvet covers)? How many such sets do kallahs get, two? Do they get a white set for both beds?? How much are 2-4 pillows and two blankets?

Last edited by chestnut on Tue, Dec 10 2024, 1:16 am; edited 1 time in total