I'm so fed up with this student

↑ smarty skirt ↓

Thu, Dec 05 2024, 10:35 pm

Sounds like this child who has difficulty with directions etc. may possibly have an undiagnosed auditory processing disorder which can go along with social issues ie. reading cues, tones and the need for speech therapy and difficulty with directions.

This child may possibly respond to being in front of the teacher to hear better also by seeing if not already done, the speech therapist could mention if you speak to her the possibility of recommending an evaluation, if the spelling is really low that can also be a give a way to this issue which can be corrected with low gain hearing aids etc.....it is a learning disorder that is treatable and if this child's IQ is intelligent the child can learn fast with a multi sensory approach orto gillingham style.....if the child is intelligent you can go up two grades with two one hours a week which can be done after shool or as a pull out in school but if the child is young enough you can give directions three times if necessary calmly and wait like 5 seconds between each one and see if the child responds to being read something better or looking at it better..in other words, give more time for processing and observe if the child has difficulty going WHAT? if the child is older they may even be aware if they have difficulty hearing clearly when there are background sounds that other people seem to hear ok with? You really want the child to get their decoding well through auditory support. These kids hear fine but process sounds clearly difficulty with background noise in the classroom.....

Ask the one above to provide this child with the support they need....Keep saying it as a prayer....

You say your school has nothing for special needs but you have speech therapy there?

↑ smarty skirt

Thu, Dec 05 2024, 10:44 pm

you mention a child that has a meltdown when they are asked to do something other than what they want to. That could mean that child wants to do what comes easy because they do not have the information being given to them in a way that can accomodate them AND the other children in the class as you say. However, there seems to be common ground in kids appreciating humour, multi sensory ways of learning etc.....if you really understand a kid, what is going on that really does help to be more helpful. It is education for the other children to be tolerant of others, be patient, it is a balancing act. Meltdowns can be very educational...I think going backwards in the domino effect to the causes and treating that really reduces the meltdown. There is no perfection but there is support and improvement that can be had. These children can really respond to incentives given on a daily basis to get over a hurdle.

amother

PlumPink

Thu, Dec 05 2024, 11:30 pm

I'm a teacher. Schools are NOT quick to throw kids out for their issues. In my experience, these things go up to a vaad harabonim, not necessarily do the the rabonim have experience in chinuch of that area (e.g. bais medresh rebbe giving eitzah for 1st grade talmidah issues). Rabonim are very leery of putting kids on the street.
I know of a current case where a child has extreme behavioral issues. The school s/he went to wanted to let him/her go as s/he (how unwoke do I sound??!! This is why OP used them/they, and that's what I'm going t use.)
The school they went to wanted to let them go as it was time for them to switch departments, think going from Early childhood to elementary or elementary to middle School etc
Parents applied to another local school that (obviously!!) rejected them. Parents refused to apply to a different local school due to what they perceived as hashkafic issues
So the kid is a square peg in a round hole and it's geferlach for the rest of the class
Kid really needs major behavioral modifications, therapy, perhaps computer classes...

amother

Goldenrod ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 7:08 am

smarty skirt wrote:

Meltdowns by one student are not educational for the other kids. Either they are extremely distracting or they are scary to the others (as in, they start crying and don't want to stay in the room). Btdt. Not all schools have the resources or support from admin that you suggest, either.

Sometimes a student is truly in the wrong type of classroom placement, with serious learning and/or behavioral issues and no incentive is going to help. It's not a good placement for the student themselves and certainly not for the others. They need a teacher with special training that a gen ed teacher doesn't have + a small class and program geared for their needs.

amother

↑ Purple

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 8:04 am

smarty skirt wrote:

We know the cause. We’re asking a kid functioning at a 1st grade level to function in a 5th grade classroom with zero extra academic support. And while it’s lovely to say I should meet him where he is, how is it fair to everyone else in the class that I ignore all of them for half an hour a day to give him one on one instruction? Parents had this explained to them. They’re perfectly happy having him sit and play video games as long as he has a seat in a Jewish classroom.

amother

Lightgreen

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 9:32 am

amother OP wrote:

I just feel so badly for this child. Not only is the child so behind all of their peers but they do not even wear clothes that fit her, hair is a mess, desperately needs a training bra, shoes are half off all day and the child just sits all alone at recess and talks to no one.

We had such a student in my school. She was not functioning on any appropriate level in social or scholastic areas. It hurts - she is a precious Yiddish neshama. Every staff member tried as much as they could but, there came a point when there wasn’t a choice, she was enrolled in a special needs school.

amother

↑ Goldenrod ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 9:35 am

amother OP wrote:

It sounds like a lot of the issues are out of the school's control. Either the parents aren't able (due to her refusal) or willing to help her.

Reminds me of a student I had once....he came to school clearly unwashed and with dirty reeking clothing. His parents were very upset that he had no friends. We had conferences, with the mom crying that he would come home saying that this kid or that kid told him he smelled bad. But it somehow didn't occur to them to do anything about it, even though the counselor tried, as kindly as she could, to give suggestions. The odd thing was, the older child (who had also been in my class) was clean with clean clothing, the parents were clean and put together.

amother

Lightcoral

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 10:40 am

amother Goldenrod wrote:

Sometimes a parent (or both) themselves have an undiagnosed condition, especially when it's genetic. They might be better at masking it, or don't have it as severe as the child, but it could exacerbate the kid's issues and also make it more difficult for the school and teachers to them on board. Poor kid.

amother

↑ Celeste

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 11:32 am

amother Goldenrod wrote:

If the older kid was fine, I would assume that this child hates baths and pushes back hard. He also probably gets attached to specific outfits and refuses to take them off. While a parent can override this, you need to pick your battles, and as important as this one seems to you there may have been others that needed to be fought first (maybe getting him to school altogether?).

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 11:48 am

amother Lightgreen wrote:

I hope she will be so she can get the help she needs. I don't understand how the child will get through elementary school without a miracle or going to a special ed program

zigi

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 12:20 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

If he likes specific outfits. You can buy multiples of the same item. So one is always clean

amother

↑ Goldenrod ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:55 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

He wasn't that kind of kid. He was also 10 years old. Not a preschooler. He was a bit quirky (parents wanted him evaluated to see if he was on the spectrum) but not oppositional at all. Very sweet and easygoing. Just kind of unaware and in his own world. It was just odd that parents knew it was an issue and there was no mention of trying to help or find a solution, especially when the rest of the family was ok. (The mom actually was a teacher herself, in a different school.) The clothing was old, ripped, stained, and unwashed. It wasn't the same outfit, either. His whole wardrobe consisted of this type of clothing.

amother

↑ Hosta

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 2:06 pm

amother Goldenrod wrote:

It that's very sad

amother

↑ Goldenrod

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 2:18 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

It that's very sad

It was sad.
But there wasn't anything we could do.
It was up to the parents, who didn't want to hear it or do anything to help him.
Sometimes (and it may be this is true for op's student) there really isn't anything the school can do, if the parents won't.

joker

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 4:11 pm

I just want to say as a parent it's incredibly fruyto watch as a child with severe challenges that cannot be handled in the classroom is left day in and out wrecking havoc . As a parent I am responsible for my child...if they can't be serviced in the classroom I need to find another environment for them. The solution is not to leave them to destroy the classroom for everyone else. How many years is a child allowed to stay in a classroom when it's bad for them and for everyone else? It's bewildering and frustrating.