What Was This Mother Thinking? Baby Not Dressed For Weather!

amother

↑ Cantaloupe

Mon, Dec 02 2024, 8:14 pm

amother Poppy wrote:

She saw this incident for a whole of 5 minutes. Sorry it’s very different when you work with a child and see some consistent behavior.

It could be fine. But no reason you can’t offer to help wrap a blanket around the baby, so that even for those few minutes he isn’t cold.
I’ve done that kind of thing, not a big deal, no judgement of the mom needed.
As an aside, we can all learn to watch out for children even if it’s for a whole of 5 minutes. Leiby Kletztky z”l was on a corner for 11 minutes, looking around as though lost. Imagine if anyone else has noticed and proactively asked of he needed help.
In 5 minutes we can be helpful, even if it’s only help for the moment and the child is usually ok.
Let’s make it our business to be aware and gently speak up.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Dec 02 2024, 8:32 pm

amother Cantaloupe wrote:

But again, in her op, she didn’t say she offered to help. She said she “interrupted her phone conversation and gently suggested the baby needed to be wearing socks and not have her legs exposed in below freezing weather.” This is not an offer of help. This is judgement, which isn’t often appreciated. Offering to help would be offering to put the groceries in the car so mom can put baby in the car, or offer to put baby in the car so mom can load up the car. And of course offering to take the cart back either way. Once a mom feels judged, even if that’s not one’s intention, there is a good chance she will shut down.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 7:11 am

Cheiny wrote:

I went out this morning to the supermarket. It was extremely cold, I believe in the high 20’s. When I came out of the store, there was a mother holding a baby in her arms, speaking on her cell phone, and walking to her car with a huge wagon filled with many shopping bags full of groceries. As she juggled her phone, her baby and the wagon, she then proceeded to open the trunk of her car to load the groceries. She was moving slowly presumably because she was doing all three at once.

I glanced at the baby and was horrified when I noticed the child (perhaps a few months old) had nothing covering his/her legs from the knees down, they probably were wearing either a skimpy stretchie or a thin pajama, so nothing covering the legs or feet at all, no socks, and the jacket he/she was wearing on top was completely open and undone!

I myself was wearing gloves and my hands were frozen even with the gloves on, so I was imagining how that baby must’ve been freezing with his/her legs and feet completely bare and the jacket not even zipped or buttoned up! I was close enough to hear the mother’s phone conversation which was a casual one, so no, this wasn’t an “emergency situation,” which I’m sure some here may soon suggest…

As I watched her taking her time, loading the many bags into her car, again while juggling her phone and the baby in her other hand, I went over to offer my help… I interrupted her phone conversation and gently suggested the baby needed to be wearing socks and not have her legs exposed in below freezing weather, as I felt that was the most pressing issue. Before I could offer my help with the bags, she curtly nodded to me and then turned her back and returned to her call.

I pray for that helpless baby who must’ve been absolutely freezing. What I did notice was that ironically the mother was dressed very warmly herself. Everything was covered. She also was not very young looking, so no way to explain it away as a very young, first-time mother who doesn’t know any better… She finally decided to put the child into the car and then finished loading her bags while casually talking on the phone.

I left there feeling so sad that it didn’t occur to this mother to be more careful with how she dressed her child before taking him/her out into the freezing weather. Dan l’kaf zechus? I didn’t see any possible logical explanation for it, no matter how I tried, other than neglect or carelessness.

Could this very young baby have pulled off their socks, removed their leggings/pants, and unbuttoned their jacket? Not at all likely, more like impossible. Hashem should watch over those who are helpless…

Hard to conjure up the image ur describing. A baby that young in one hand, phone in another, what hand was loading the groceries into the car?
I applaud your caring . Next time start with: can I help? before pointing out what, to her ears sounded like: what a bad mother she is.
It does sound like she could have benefitted from your older n wiser advice but was turned off before you got a chance to help.
Hopefully it wasn't as bad as you describe and won't happen again.

amother

White

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 12:44 pm

Cheiny wrote:

No.
What’s most inexplicable to me is that the mother was covered completely.

OK having read through, I think the baby was kidnapped, the "Mother" was really just a woman who kidnapped the baby and the rest was all part of her alibi. The phone conversation was in code, and if you take the first letter of each word, she is revealing to the other person her location. She is also asking for clothes as she wasn't properly prepared and some Karen is giving her a hard time.
The baby has probably had her hair dyed by now and the ransom went up another 100k because the kidnapper had to deal with said Karen.