Helping people get rides

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:53 pm

Mazal tov! My friend's daughter is getting married on Sunday and my friend spent most of today trying to get people rides. She has worked it out by now, but this is a common problem in my neighborhood and it occurred to me that this is a mitzvah I could do to take something off the plates of harassed baalei simcha. Do you think this is doable or am I just letting myself and them in for a peck of trouble?

amother

Ebony

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 1:13 am

It won’t be easy, but I think it is such a beautiful idea! When my daughter got married, about 30 minutes from here, I did not expect it to be so hard to get rides for people. I was kind of shocked. We had a good friend who we had given so much money to help help him get their kid married off and they didn’t even even want to give my daughters friends a ride and when they did, they literally complained about the whole ride. I was so embarrassed when they had told my daughter after the fact. I know people need a date night, but you know what when you go to a wedding you are going to be Happiness to the bride and groom and they don’t Don’t have cars or maybe not even a license it’s very sad that they won’t be able to friends at the wedding. I’m in Israel and some of these wedding halls literally have no public transportation there. In hindsight, I probably should’ve just organized a van or a bus and paid for it, but I did not expect it to be that hard and now I know for future weddings. and it also made me realize how badly People need rides and in the future, I will call them and offer to take people

singleagain

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 7:13 am

My sister made a Facebook group for people to offer and ask for rides. If Facebook isn't a thing in your circles you can probably do it over Whatsapp.

I would include the link in the invite "to offer and ask for rides please join this group" that way people can work it out amongst themselves, and hopefully people won't feel pressured to acquiesce to a request that they don't want to, especially in the face of a phone call.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 7:22 am

singleagain wrote:

My community has this (in fact, we have several) but the vast majority of what's apps are asking for rides and virtually none offering them. For example, I don't think I saw one single ride offer for my friend's wedding.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 8:02 am

singleagain wrote:

I've seen google docs link to excel table to offer and ask for rides,

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 8:12 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

I've seen google docs link to excel table to offer and ask for rides,

The issue isn't format. We have WhatsApp groups and other groups, and I can't remember the last time I saw someone on one of them saying "we're going to the Goldberg wedding with space for two." Unfortunately, as someone said above, people don't offer unless confronted personally. And often not even then.

gr82no

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 8:17 am

Often people respond privately to requests for rides.they dont feel comfortable goving abride to just anyone but if someone they're comfortable with is looking for a ride they will offer one privately

amother

Mintcream ↓

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 8:28 am

The baal simcha can arrange a bus. The classmates can arrange a bus.
We did this for our dd’s wedding in Israel.
I don’t have time to call everyone and ask for a ride- so I will use public transportation or car service.
If I can’t get there then I can’t.
When I have a car- I need to get to other stops too, so I would like to be flexible and not have to wait for people.
Obviously, if I can accommodate and take someone, I will.

Molly Weasley

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 8:34 am

In general, people don't spontaneously offer rides. It's perfectly acceptable to wait until someone requests one before offering.

You can launch an initiative where people can volunteer their rides. You could post a message requesting rides to a specific community wedding and ask anyone with available space to send a private message.

"We need rides for 10 couples attending the Friedman wedding. Please PM if you have any available space."

Chayalle

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 8:34 am

If you live in an area where alot of people are going to need rides, arranging a bus makes sense. Where I live, most people have their own cars, but there are the occasional people who need a ride, whether it's because they are young, or even older (like for my daughter's wedding, my Uncle in Brooklyn asked me to arrange a ride for him, as he didn't want to undertake the trip alone and my aunt couldn't make it.) In such a case, taking the headache off the Baal Simcha is a huge Chessed. For reasons I'd rather not write here, that particular ride ended up being complicated and even at the wedding I was busy with him when I would rather have been enjoying the Simcha and greeting guests....

amother

↑ Mintcream ↓

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 8:37 am

amother OP wrote:

You have a group for every person you know? And how do you know who was invited?
Confronted- you make it sound like it’s evil.
A ride share group would be nice- but how practical would it be. Which cities would you put in. How would one join without a smartphone? How big a group? Would you have sub groups?

amother

↑ Mintcream

Fri, Nov 29 2024, 8:47 am

Chayalle wrote:

This is different- an immediate family member or very close friends- you can be in touch with them. We always called our family members with no cars or means of transportation, or immediate neighbors or friends and offered rides. And in a small community perhaps it’s easier. But in bigger communities- I don’t Know.