Getting ready a child with no concept of time

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 8:40 am

My kids get up early way before me (maybe this is part of the problem).
My 4 yr old has started saying he doesn't want to go to school. He refuses to get dressed until the last minute, then needs breakfast and wants to pack his own lunch. He is very strong willed ka"h, and I get so frustrated, as I have no clue how to get him going. Telling him we are going to be late has no impact as he doesn't understand time yet. He also has a tendency to change facts to what he wants them to be.. and there is no convincing him of objective facts eg. Denying a dirty diaper cuz he doesn't feel like changing.

I feel like all this is normal, I am reacting way out of proportion though, and just need to know practically, how do I get this kid going???

It's also on the bedtime end. I tried putting in 10 minutes of a calm enjoyable activity, once he is ready for bed (if he is ready on time). But he doesn't understand the time part..

amother

Impatiens

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 8:46 am

Sand timers are a visual concept of time. They see the time running out. Get a variety of timers for different times (1 min, 3 min, 5 min, etc) with colored sand so it’s exciting and say if you’re dressed before all the sand is on the bottom…. Instead of 10 minutes…

giftedmom ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 8:52 am

With my strong willed toddler I find starting early and turning everything into a game works. Not sure it’ll still work at 4 but maybe worth a shot? The trick is to not let on that you’re in a rush or the automatically resist.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 8:57 am

giftedmom wrote:

Forsure would work. I'm not so good at it though..especially under pressure... any specific ideas how to make getting dressed playful?

amother

↑ Chicory

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:08 am

amother OP wrote:

Forsure would work. I'm not so good at it though..especially under pressure... any specific ideas how to make getting dressed playful?

For getting dressed my 5 yr old and 7 yr old have a race with me or DH, to see who will be dressed first. (I make sure to get random stuff done in-between so they don't feel I'm winning each time)
This is for when the timers don't interest them

Elfrida ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:13 am

Four year olds don't have an objective concept of time yet. Even as adults, sometimes time can drag, and sometimes it can race, and its only the watch on our wrist keeping us tied to an objective measurement.

Young children need practical examples that they can see and relate to. A big clock might help, so he can see the hands moving.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:20 am

Elfrida wrote:

Makes sense. Any ideas how to make it more concrete, other (or in addtion to) than timers and wall clocks? Would you say analog or digital clock is preferable? (I know for learning to tell time analog is better, but just for conceptualizing which is easier? He doesn't know all his numbers yet.

wannabe1

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:21 am

I'm linking a visual timer that I use with my kids, it's a 60 minute timer so you don't need separate timers for 1m, 3m, 5m. I usually use this plus I make it into a game. I'll set the timer for 5 minutes (or better yet, tell my kids to set the timer) and then tell them to try to beat the timer and see how much time they can have left. My kids get such a thrill out of having 4 minutes left on the timer after being dressed.

Visual 60 Minute Timer

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:26 am

amother Dandelion wrote:

My strong-willed 9 year old is the same Can't Believe It

He is ka’h very bright. Just lives in his own time zone. Some kids are like that.

It's so hard! My 8 yr old was like that last yr, and I don't know what happened, but since the new school year he suddenly seems so on top of things.

What I am trying to figure out is how do I react? I get so angry. I know it's misplaced, and not helpful, I just don't know what to do.. I can choose not to care about being on time - as a sahm I have that luxury, but I worry I'd never get out of the house! I also have other kids who it's very important to to be on time, and I don’t want to take that away from them.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:28 am

wannabe1 wrote:

Thank you!

↑ Elfrida

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:35 am

amother OP wrote:

Absolutely analogue.

Let them watch the big hand moving.

"We have to leave when the big hand reaches the six. The six is the big number at the bottom. "

Five minutes before, ask where the big hand is. If it's almost at the six, we have to be ready to leave. Etc.

Something like this.

https://www.amazon.com/Wise-He.....r=8-1

↑ giftedmom

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 9:55 am

amother OP wrote:

Forsure would work. I'm not so good at it though..especially under pressure... any specific ideas how to make getting dressed playful?

Depends on what makes your kid laugh. For mine I 1. Let her try by herself (as a challenge like “I bet you can’t do this by yourself) and 2. Get silly like “oy it’s backwards” “peekaboo where’s ___”… etc.

asmileaday ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 11:18 am

amother OP wrote:

Forsure would work. I'm not so good at it though..especially under pressure... any specific ideas how to make getting dressed playful?

When my teens were this age I created and laminated a boy paper doll. And then laminated individual clothing items - kippah, tzitzis, socks, pants, shirts and shoes. Put velcro stickers on the doll and the clothing. Hung the doll in their room. For every article of clothing they put on they stuck on the coordinating piece.
It took away all the power struggle and made it so exciting for them.

I should really take my own advice and make it for my current 4 year old Very Happy

↑ asmileaday

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 11:20 am

amother Chicory wrote:

I do timers on the phone.
'lets get dressed before the phone rings'

My daughter loves the timer on my phone because it's a visual circle that you can see the line getting smaller and smaller and it turns red right before time is up. I just don't like using my phone as her toy.
Thanks to the poster who posted the visual timer. It's a great idea!