Anyone seen Malkybtalks on instagram?

Peersupport ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 12:10 am

I think it's amazing that she has so much strength and positivity. It can't be easy to be born gay in a world that wasn't designed with a place for queer people.

I'm glad she found her place and can share the positives in her life despite the hurdles she's had to overcome.

I think it's a shame that some people would be happier if women stayed in their dead marriages, just because it feels safer as an outsider.
People need to look out for their own mental health before the pressure of what's socially acceptable.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 12:20 am

Peersupport wrote:

I fully agree that it wasn’t right for her to stay in her marriage.
She has some good points. But she’s very calculated and manipulative in the way that she talks. It rubs me the wrong way.
I also disagree with her whole attitude of putting herself first under the pretext of “being the best version of myself for my children”
There are limits to that.
I don’t know her personally but my cousin is married to her ex’s close friend. And she’s really good at saying the truth but in a way that implies and entirely different narrative.

↑ Peersupport ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 12:27 am

amother OP wrote:

I think she is very self aware and well articulated.
I don't love her style of sharing, but her insights are spot on.

I do believe a mother needs to be at peace with herself to be a good mother.

Her children have a religious father. They are in a Frum school. They have a loving mother who respects their choices. Children can thrive in non traditional settings. Life is not a one size fits all.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 12:34 am

Peersupport wrote:

This is true. But she takes a lot of liberty with that. If a mom needs to take three day vacation from her kids to rest up, freshen up, relax once every now and then - that’s completely fine. If you’re doing that most of the time, that’s a problem. she isn’t the primary parent, which was her choice, she takes the kids maybe for the weekend, maybe for the weekend every other week. She shouldn’t claim her lack of interest in being a parent is her being her best self for her children.

amother

Whitewash

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 12:38 am

amother OP wrote:

Can someone link please? A woman gave up shared custody so she can use the time to work on herself? Sounds pretty lofty to me.

groisamomma

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 12:40 am

Peersupport wrote:

In your opinion, should the time she takes to become "at peace with herself" exceed the time she actually parents her kids?

I don't know this woman from beans but it sounds like an excuse to give up the burden of raising children.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 12:52 am

essie14 wrote:

If you don't like what she has to say, just don't watch her reels.

I don’t follow her. In fact, I had blocked her just prior to posting the OP. Instagrams algorithm keeps sending her reels my way. It shows up at least once a week. At least now they won’t show up by while scrolling

nursemomma ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 2:40 am

Peersupport wrote:

I’m sorry, this is a frum site. Are you saying that staying religious is merely a social construct?

↑ Peersupport ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 2:53 am

amother OP wrote:

And if she would have primary custody you would be crying about the poor kids who are living with a mother who is no longer Frum.

Different custody arrangement work differently for people at different times.
Right now this is the sacrifice she makes so her children don't need to switch schools to the city she moved to.

It means nothing about how their arrangement will work next year.
In fact, their previous arrangement was amazing.
The kids lived in the house and the parents were rotating turns during visitation.

I don't think we need to find a reason to criticize everyone. She seems happy. Her kids seem fine. Her husband seems settled.
It's silly to make assumptions just because the arrangement is different than you would have worked out for yourself.

↑ Peersupport ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 2:57 am

nursemomma wrote:

I’m sorry, this is a frum site. Are you saying that staying religious is merely a social construct?

In many ways it is. Especially clothingwise or what the expected family unit is.

One isn't a lesser Jew because they are divorced, or they no longer wear a shtreimel.

We don't know what kind of Jew people are underneath the religious clothes, and within their marriages.

↑ nursemomma ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 3:01 am

Peersupport wrote:

You are not wrong that there are many social constructs within the religious framework.
But she is openly not religious at all. That is not Judaism in any way, shape or form. Shame on you for applauding her.

↑ Peersupport

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 3:05 am

nursemomma wrote:

You can learn many things from all kinds of decent humans. Religous or otherwise.

As long as there is no space for people like her in our communities, I don't think we get to judge.

amother

Gladiolus ↓

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 8:06 am

amother Whitewash wrote:

Can someone link please? A woman gave up shared custody so she can use the time to work on herself? Sounds pretty lofty to me.

No so that she can be free and do as she pleases most of the time.

amother

↑ Gladiolus

Thu, Nov 28 2024, 8:07 am

Peersupport wrote:

She doesn’t believe in hashem at all in her words. Not sure what there is to applaud here.