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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
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 Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:15 pm
| yiddishmom wrote: | Is she perhaps young, new, and inexperienced?
Maybe she is acting out of fear, insecurity.
It's really beyond me this letter.
Not even "how are you feeling?"
Only in the third paragraph does she mention she feels sorry for your illness. That should be FIRST and Foremost in her letter! |
The opposite , in her 70’s, retired from her primary career and took a teaching job a couple years ago. She is very obviously burnt out and doesn’t know how to handle the kids in a emotionally healthy way.
I understand a new teacher she is trying to act super strict to manage the classroom but it’s scary to have no exceptions. Kids are people to. What if a kid themselves got sick?! Work isn’t above all/ end all. She isn’t thinking.
And my daughter helps more than the average kid. I rely on that, for her to tell the chessed girl where to find things or to help or help make lunches or show where pajamas are. She isn’t running the house (we have a full schedule of respite / chessed coming over daily) but her childhood is being taken away from her. I am totally ok with that being instead of homework. Right now life is he-ll, as long as she isn’t chutzpadik I am more than ok with letting homework and reports lapse.
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:18 pm
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This seems a bit too much. If true, you need to be forwarding that email to the principal. And cc the teacher on it so she knows you did
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Molly Weasley
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:19 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I emailed it to her and got a response.
(Cut out w few identifying sentences but essentially this was her email ).
Your daughter knew that the requirement was to hand in her report printed and not have her parents sending it out for her. She is in 6th grade and shouldn’t be dependent on you for her homework. I understand typing does take minimal supervision on your end but it’s her responsibility.
Emailing is a slippery slope and can even lead to parents doing the work for the kids.
Additionally it was assigned on x date 2 weeks ago. The girls were encouraged to hand it in early any time this week. I don’t see why your daughter procrastinating should have excused her. It should have been near completed way before 3 days before due date.
I am sorry to hear that you’re sick but that doesn’t exempt your child from fulfilling her responsibilities and taking it seriously.
If you let her use your medical illness as a crutch, she will make it through middle school not learning and fail high school. Is that where your priorities are? Life doesn’t stop because of illness, she may think that because she gets spoiled from Chai lifeline, Bikkur cholim that she can get whatever she desires and that’s not good for her. She was testing me and now will learn that rules still apply to her. I truly care about your daughters success and am giving her the 0 because she earned it by not handing in her report on time.
Wishing you a refuah Shlayma and please reconsider if you should be coddling your kids like this. |
I'm honestly flabbergasted.
The cruelty, the sheer inhumanity.
I have no words.
Even if the teacher were a thousand percent correct, how dare she send this email to a mother who's critically ill?
( this is beside the chunich of sixth graders using computers and email, etc.)
I wish you a complete Refuah!
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Molly Weasley
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:21 pm
And who is she to be mechanech YOU??
AND IS THIS THE TIME TO DO IT????
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amother
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:22 pm
| amother Cadetblue wrote: | | Um.... Is this for real???? I hope not. Please Hashem I hope this isn't true. I would pull my kid out of the class forever. |
It’s unfortunately very real.
I changed the wording and a few lines so it wasn’t obvious what school this is and my daughters details of her adhd/ learning disability, but basically the teacher decided my daughter has spent all year looking for excuses and that this is just another convenient excuse that she is trying .
The teacher also believes adhd is because she isn’t disciplined.
I am tempted to ask about taking her out. I can’t imagine the frustration of dealing with a teacher who thinks a mother being not able to breathe snd and possibly end of life is just being used an excuse.
(My daughter is medicated but by last period of day it can start to wear off but regardless she is not a behavioral kid at all, just a little impulsive , executive functioning challenges, etc. ).
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#MOMMY
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:22 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I emailed it to her and got a response.
(Cut out w few identifying sentences but essentially this was her email ).
Your daughter knew that the requirement was to hand in her report printed and not have her parents sending it out for her. She is in 6th grade and shouldn’t be dependent on you for her homework. I understand typing does take minimal supervision on your end but it’s her responsibility.
Emailing is a slippery slope and can even lead to parents doing the work for the kids.
Additionally it was assigned on x date 2 weeks ago. The girls were encouraged to hand it in early any time this week. I don’t see why your daughter procrastinating should have excused her. It should have been near completed way before 3 days before due date.
I am sorry to hear that you’re sick but that doesn’t exempt your child from fulfilling her responsibilities and taking it seriously.
If you let her use your medical illness as a crutch, she will make it through middle school not learning and fail high school. Is that where your priorities are? Life doesn’t stop because of illness, she may think that because she gets spoiled from Chai lifeline, Bikkur cholim that she can get whatever she desires and that’s not good for her. She was testing me and now will learn that rules still apply to her. I truly care about your daughters success and am giving her the 0 because she earned it by not handing in her report on time.
Wishing you a refuah Shlayma and please reconsider if you should be coddling your kids like this. |
Absolutely no words. This is beyond human comprehension. That someone this cruel exists, never mind is in chinuch????
As a teacher and uh fellow human being! this is inexcusable... Definitely definitely forward this to not just the principal, but the higher ups as well. Horrific.
Wishing you a refuah shileima bikarov!!!
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amother
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:26 pm
Thanks everyone for the support. I will email it principal and have my husband follow up in a call.
Not looking to bash the school, everyone else was amazing. But I can’t get over what a big deal this teacher is making of a small report and her lack of compassion.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:27 pm
Thanks everyone for the support. I will email it principal and have my husband follow up in a call.
Not looking to bash the school, everyone else was amazing. But I can’t get over what a big deal this teacher is making of a small report and her lack of compassion.
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Seashell
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:28 pm
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This is horrific!!! This teacher needs to be fired.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:29 pm
Firstly a Refuah Shleima to you may you feel better real soon.
Wow the cruelest letter I’ve ever read. I’m so sorry this teacher should be retired and should not be allowed into a classroom. This is unacceptable even if she’s old enough to be my grandmother. Please for the sake of your daughter and the rest of the kids in the class, email this to the principal. This needs to be dealt with asap and in the harshest form.
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amother
Burlywood
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:29 pm
I just started crying while reading through this thread.
OP, I wish you a Refuah shelaima bekarov and many more happy and healthy years with your children!
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amother
Seashell
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:31 pm
These posts made me cry.
Your daughter does not deserve this; you do not deserve this.
Is she a teacher for only 1 subject or for several hours a day? Perhaps your daughter can be let off of her class. (Ideally, teacher should be let off.)
Wishing you a Refuah Sheleim and so much strength for you and your family.
* Definitely do forward this to the principal with teacher CCd, as others have suggested. And add that in light of this, you will be needing to pull your daughter out of this teacher's class, and hope that appropriate measures will be taken on behalf of the other students.
She sounds like a witch.
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boysrus
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:36 pm
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Comletely agree with all the other posters. Refuah sheleima, may HKBH perform miracles for you and heal you so fast and so completely that the doctors will be shocked. May you always be around in every way to help your daughter throughout her school years. xxxxxxxxx
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NechaMom
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:43 pm
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This thread is heartbreaking. Are you sure this teacher is frum? Sane? She really isn't okay and should NOT teach. Please get the principal involved ASAP. Refuah sheleima to you!
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sequoia
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:45 pm
Please be well, we are all rooting for you 
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Goldie613
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Tue, Nov 26 2024, 11:54 pm
OP, I agree with 99.9% of what others are saying. The only thing I would maybe change is the idea that your daughter should change classes right now. If her closest friends are with her in the class, losing that connection may be one more hard change in an already terribly hard time. If you think your daughter is mature enough to make the decision, maybe you or your husband could ask her what her thoughts are on changing classes - would she rather have this teacher and stay with the classmates she likes/is used to, or would she rather have a different teacher but have new classmates?
Refuah shelaima! 
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amother
Sand
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Wed, Nov 27 2024, 12:14 am
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I would also forward the e-mail to the board of directors, and maybe your Rav. You're going to need irl support.
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familyfirst
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Wed, Nov 27 2024, 12:21 am
| sequoia wrote: | | Please be well, we are all rooting for you |
Sequoyah- your kindness comes through
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amother
Vanilla
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Wed, Nov 27 2024, 12:30 am
Dealing with a similar situation and literally crying for you and your daughter. Even my 11th grader is excused ideally from handing in reports like this! She has to do tests etc but not written reports and definitely not on a day like that!
I agree on forwarding the email to the principal. It's sheer cruelty to you never mind to your daughter. Davening for you that this piece of agmas nefesh should be mechaper for you and iyH you should feel better.
Wishing you love and koach.
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amother
Dustypink
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Wed, Nov 27 2024, 12:36 am
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