Locking master bedroom from guests

amother

↑ Tulip ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:22 am

mizle10 wrote:

She's leaving her kids at home, it would be normal for one of them to try and go in.

This is exactly why I wouldn’t lock it. If her kids are trying to go in, there’s usually a reason. I’ve babysat by siblings and have others babysit by me and no one ever locked the door.

It’s very different than if someone is staying there as a guest.

↑ Reality

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:27 am

amother Mulberry wrote:

I think you're taking it out of context.
One has nothing to do with the other.
If the room is unlocked, guests/sitters may take it as permission to go in, thinking that you don't mind.
I also don't want my kids in my room.

Experience has taught me otherwise. Those that have no boundaries in one area have no boundaries period.

If you are going to snoop in my bedroom when I'm not there, you are also going to feed my kid something I told you is not good for him. It all goes hand in hand.

↑ mizle10 ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:27 am

amother Tulip wrote:

I'm imagining doing someone the huge favor of watching their kids over shabbos and their kid tantruming because they want something that's locked in the master bedroom.

amother

↑ Mulberry ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:29 am

Reality wrote:

I'm not worried about snooping.
There's just no reason for anyone to be going in to the master bedroom, and an unlocked door may just be taken as permission to do so. They may think that we don't mind.

amother

↑ Mulberry ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:30 am

mizle10 wrote:

I'm imagining doing someone the huge favor of watching their kids over shabbos and their kid tantruming because they want something that's locked in the master bedroom.

I can't think of anything that's in my master bedroom that my kids may need or want. Anything that I can imagine that they'd maybe need, gets taken out before shabbos. (I'm sure most people do the same.)

amother

↑ Birch ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:31 am

mizle10 wrote:

I'm imagining doing someone the huge favor of watching their kids over shabbos and their kid tantruming because they want something that's locked in the master bedroom.

There is nothing in my room that my kids need. Why would this even happen?

↑ mizle10 ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:36 am

amother Birch wrote:

There is nothing in my room that my kids need. Why would this even happen?

My 6 year old wants a black ponytail holder and there's none left in the main bathroom
My 4 year old decided that her missing doll absolutely must be in my room
My 3 year old misses me
Can't find any pacifier for 18 month old, maybe there's one under my bed

I can think of a hundred reasons

amother

↑ Birch ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:37 am

mizle10 wrote:

I don’t think all houses work this way and I’m sure if op wants to lock her door she’s not in your type of house.

↑ mizle10 ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:39 am

amother Birch wrote:

I don’t think all houses work this way and I’m sure if op wants to lock her door she’s not in your type of house.

Work in what way? My kids knock before they come into my room. They don't sleep in my bed. They don't us my bathroom ever.

But it's a part of my house, it's there... there are things inside....

amother

↑ Birch

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:43 am

mizle10 wrote:

Work in what way? My kids knock before they come into my room. They don't sleep in my bed. They don't us my bathroom ever.

But it's a part of my house, it's there... there are things inside....

In the way that it’s not storing things for kids and it won’t be a crisis if it’s locked. Neither do I want the babysitter being busy in my room with the tantrum. My kids don’t look for anything in my room, it just doesn’t happen. And before she leaves I’m sure she will check nothing was taken in by mistake and tell the kids there is nothing here you will need. Also if your kid is attached to pacifiers I’d hope you leave enough back up in safe places. Generally mothers know what their kids need and leave the proper important things in the right places for a babysitting situation. She’s not running out last second. So none of this is a reason to not lock the door.

amother

↑ Mulberry ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:51 am

mizle10 wrote:

None of those reasons apply to our household. There's literally no reason anyone would need to be entering our bedroom when we're not home.
Whatever the kids & sitters may need, they have available for them outside of our bedroom. When we leave our kids with a sitter, we make sure that there are enough pacifiers around, and that all kids have their favorite blankets/dolls/ whatever they may be needing.

↑ mizle10 ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 6:59 am

I don't know, you can't think of everything and kids aren't always reasonable.

A paid babysitter is one thing. To me having someone do you a huge favor and then locking the door is unnecessary and rude. I trust you completely as long as it's convenient for me.

amother

↑ Mulberry

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 7:07 am

mizle10 wrote:

There's literally nothing in my room that anyone may need while we're away.
I don't lock my room because I don't trust the sitter/guests. I lock my room because I don't want anyone in there for whatever reason.

essie14 ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 7:12 am

amother Mulberry wrote:

Exactly. The other night DH and I went out for a few hours and I know I closed my bedroom door. somehow it was open when I got home.
There is absolutely nothing in my bedroom that anyone needs. Now I know I have to lock it whenever I'm not home. No one needs the temptation to go snooping in my bedroom.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 7:14 am

amother Amethyst wrote:

Reminds me of my mil.

Mil: "dont you think its strange that we stayed somewhere for shobbos anf they locked the bedroom door?"

Me: "how do you know they locked the bedroom door?"

[I admit my comment wasnt the most respectful]

Your question was spot on! Rolling Laughter

amother

Magnolia

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 7:14 am

I'm assuming you have a nice room for them to stay in. I don't think a young couple should be given a stuffy kids room to sleep in if they are babysitting for your kids. I would lock up my very personal stuff and give them the master bedroom unless I have a guest room.

heidi

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 7:15 am

mizle10 wrote:

In our house it's a treat for the kids to sleep in our bed when we're not home
I'd never lock my bedroom door if the kids were there

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 7:17 am

I once had someone staying over in my house to watch my kids. Before I left I told her that I locked my bedroom because I didn’t want the kids going in in the morning and getting scared when they see empty beds. (My kids always try my doorknob in the morning, if it’s unlocked they climb into bed with me and if it’s locked they just go straight to the playroom).

amother

↑ Tulip

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 7:25 am

amother Mulberry wrote:

I guess I have a different type of house. If your kids are never in your room even when you’re home, then I guess it’s fine for your door to be locked.

My kids often come into my room and I also wouldn’t have a problem if my sibling who’s babysitting went into my room if they needed to.

amother

Blushpink

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 7:39 am

I think some of you don't realise how small an Israeli apartment can be. Of course some stuff my kids might need is in my room. I don't have enough storage space to put everything elsewhere.

Also, you may not mean it that way but some of you are coming over very condescending. Not all mothers run such a tight ship and that's totally ok. A more relaxed household can have it's advantages.

OP if you have another comfortable room apart from your kids space, you could lock the door. But please, if they're doing you a favor, don't give them kids beds and put your kids on the floor because there will be tantrums. And please make sure that they have proper adult mattresses and the ability to lock whatever room they will be sleeping in if they need some privacy.