Calling Teachers or Wait until PTA?

mha3484

Fri, Nov 01 2024, 7:16 am

I would never wait until PTA. I learned this lesson the hard way with one of my boys. I heard nothing all year until it turned into an epic disaster. I don't stalk the teachers but I do check in occasionally. For example, I was worried my 5 year old isn't really branching out socially and her morah was very helpful in telling me who she sits with, who would be nice girls to reach out to. Why wait for PTA to get that info.

Its also probably cultural, every teacher my kids have encourages the parents to reach out and gives detailed instructions as to how to reach them. They tell us over and over they want to be in touch with us.

board

Fri, Nov 01 2024, 1:36 pm

Coming from a teacher, you can always call. We put so much into your children and if there is a concern we want to hear about it. Just text first to set up a time.

amother

Sunflower

Fri, Nov 01 2024, 1:54 pm

I always call a few weeks into school to check in how my kids doing. I don't see anything wrong. I'm also a teacher and I never mind a parent calling.

amother

Oatmeal

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 2:21 pm

As a mother and a teacher, you should be in touch long before PTA. Most of my kids teachers send out a letter at the start of the year telling us he/she's looking forward to a productive year, asking us to get in touch if any issues, detailing best way to get in touch-either particular time, text or via school office.
As a teacher I find it a little strange when it comes to PTA and I've not had any correspondence from the parents yet, even just a text, or a scribbled note at the bottom of a link book or somethimg.
Kids do way better when there's good home/school communication.
Don't wait until there's a problem.

amother

Babypink

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 4:12 pm

I think this question might be best directed at parents in the same school as your dd. A helpful tip in general is to befriend a parent who has older children in the school. It's really helpful to have someone who you can ask questions about what the norm is and for the unspoken things that parents are supposed to know. Like I never knew my dd was expected to wear her hair in 2 braids for the siddur party, but apparently that's the usual practice.
The school I send my children to, I think would be fine with parents contacting the teachers, but it's usually expected when there is an actual issue. Otherwise waiting until PTA, which is in a few weeks would be enough.
If your dd is, more days than not, coming home happy, going to school happy, then she's likely fine.
I would rather my dd's teacher spend her time preparing and working with the girls than have to keep reassuring parents that their dd is fine.

groisamomma

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 4:28 pm

I always tell parents that PTA is a quick follow-up to issues that were already discussed and are being resolved or tweaked. PTA is not the time to introduce new concerns; by then it’s too late.

PTA is five minutes. If there’s a concern before then, leave a message for the teacher to call at her convenience. For example, to boost DC socially, discuss which girls Morah should pair her up with, and you’ll invite them to playdates at home.

I imagine that teachers of 5-year-olds are used to anxious parents’ phone calls. It’s the first time their child is in a school setting so it’s understandable that they’d want to check in sooner than 3 months into the school year.

seeker

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 5:28 pm

If you have a specific cause for concern then call. Just to find out how your kid is, most schools have PTA in about 3 weeks, it'll be fine.

1346

Sat, Nov 02 2024, 11:05 pm

Why wud someone wait if they have a specific concern? it doesn't hafta be a long conversation.
just calling to check in how she's doing, thank you so much for everything...
I think most teachers appreciate the involvement

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 4:31 am

I don’t have a specific concern. just want to hear how she is doing in general , first time in school setting …
the incident with her crying from another girl was what got me thinking if I should be calling, but it was an isolated event. in general she’s coming home and seems very happy bh

Fabulous

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 4:36 am

As others have mentioned, call if there’s an issue that is ongoing or information the teacher needs to know or will take longer than 5 min. Otherwise, pta is fine

keym

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 4:47 am

Around this year, I right a note on the homework paper that they should call me at their convenience, nothing urgent just to check in how my child's doing.

I don't like calling them unless it's important. It feels invasive.

So I send a message asking them to call in when it works for them.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Nov 04 2024, 6:41 pm

update- I called the morah! she was so happy I did and encouraged me to call whenever I wanted , said she appreciates when parents check in even to just hear that all is going well!!
thank you all for your input!