S\o why to the boys rebbes and teachers

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:03 am

Why aren't the boys being taught how to treat their wife?
Just the girls are taught to respect their spouse. The boys it says in the gemarah women are crazy. Why not why? Yes it says that in the gemarah but there's context during pregnancy and after giving birth! Someone awesome and amazing and we don't have to do it we want to. For some reason.

amother

Dimgray

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:08 am

I was never taught to respect my spouse lol. Certain things are basic.

Molly Weasley ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:09 am

amother OP wrote:

Why do you assume boys aren't being taught to treat their wives well? There are jerks on both sides of the Mechitza

amother

Denim ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:19 am

amother OP wrote:

In which schools are girls taught to respect their spouse? This isn't something that should come from the schools. It's our responsibility as parents to raise our kids to be respectful.

mha3484

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:36 am

I think I get what your saying I have 3 boys between grades 2-8 and then a girl in K (5 years old) My husband was reading her orientation packet and mentioned how they focus a lot more on middos then our boys ever did at the same age. I think for boys they focus so much on learning and cover so much ground a lot more has to come from the home to make sure they come out good people. I have an 8th grader now and I am a little worried he's getting to self centered and want to find him a chesed project after sukkos. But if its not coming from the parents the school system isnt suggesting it or organizing it.

amother

Navy

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:52 am

Because that's your job as a parent, not theirs!!!
By treating your own spouse respectfully and hopefully seeing their father doing the same they will learn.

amother

Lightpink ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:59 am

To be honest, we probably learnt some derogatory stuff about males in my years at school. It's now up to the individual how to eat it, what to do with it.
I'm sure your son's rebbi never taught him that women are crazy, even the gemarah thinks so! Your son just chose to understand it like that. He's just an immature kid who will hopefully grow up and learn to understand what he was really taught.

amother

SandyBrown

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:49 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

Why do you assume boys aren't being taught to treat their wives well? There are jerks on both sides of the Mechitza

Because bh I have a house full of guys and I am aware that that is not part of the curriculum.
Nor are basic social emotional skills taught (in this community)

amother

Tuberose

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:52 am

amother SandyBrown wrote:

Because bh I have a house full of guys and I am aware that that is not part of the curriculum.
Nor are basic social emotional skills taught (in this community)

Same experience (and also have a bunch of sons and daughters and see the difference)

↑ Molly Weasley

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:59 am

amother SandyBrown wrote:

Because bh I have a house full of guys and I am aware that that is not part of the curriculum.
Nor are basic social emotional skills taught (in this community)

What you're describing has nothing to do with op's complaint.

amother

Antiquewhite

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:02 pm

It's both job of parents but schools as well. Boys spend literally all day in school and it's expected that yeshivot will teach them the importance of being a mensh. I think they should focus more on middot, but not just as theory.

amother

↑ Denim ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:05 pm

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

I think middos & mentchlichkeit should come from the home & is the responsibility of the parents, not the schools responsibility. Parents need to model & instill good middos in their children from when they’re young.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:06 pm

giftedmom wrote:

They are taught by chosson classes

The boys have one class taught by the rav basically just the halachos. The girls have a few classes depending who she goes to discussion how she needs to treat if husband.

amother

↑ Denim

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

The boys have one class taught by the rav basically just the halachos. The girls have a few classes depending who she goes to discussion how she needs to treat if husband.

Boys definitely do not have just one class! (At least in my circles.) Boys have several classes, often more than girls. Of course boys have classes with discussion on how to treat their wives. Many even discuss with the boys that women may be more hormonal during certain times & what they can expect during pregnancy or when their wives are on their period.

amother

↑ Lightpink

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

The boys have one class taught by the rav basically just the halachos. The girls have a few classes depending who she goes to discussion how she needs to treat if husband.

I have no idea what circles you are in but even the most chassidish have more than 1 class and they discuss many things, not just halacha.
My brother just got married a few months back. We spoke about marriage a lot and he was able to repeat some nice thoughts on marriage from his chasson teacher that were new to me.