My DS is going to make me lose it

Chayalle ↓

Today at 9:26 am

This is an interesting back and forth, and reminds me of when my kids wanted phones. (Yes, I know, different issue, but the back and forth parent and kid, everyone has, social need, etc....is remarkably similar)

OP, you need to speak to someone in Chinuch.

amother

↑ Offwhite

Today at 9:52 am

amother OP wrote:

My husband is staying calm, but he's getting annoyed at him, and I told my son that if he keeps this up, then the driving option will go away until he's able to do it on his own at 18. He's refusing all logic right now.

I could (maybe if I'll be strong enough), to be kind to him (right now I'm really annoyed at him) and if he brings up the topic just walk away (I've told him before I will).
BUT, I'm worried about him and his not knowing how to blow off steam. He's going bonkers.

I hope I'm wrong. This has turned in to a,power struggle and battle of wills. I don't know if said son will make it until 18.my hypothesis is he will purchase it without your knowledge or permission and keep it else where.
Slippery slope
I hope I'm wrong.

amother

Bottlebrush

Today at 9:54 am

Sounds like typical teenager behavior.
I have this with my 14.5 yr old son.
The texting he wants now because all the boys in his Class have and they leave him out of activities because that would mean calling him. God forbid someone call him.
And the going out to eat lunch and dinner in school when the school provided meals. And the vaping.
I don't have an answer. I don't know what's going on in the world that parents are so lenient with the boys and they enable and endorse these unhealthy and unsafe activities. I feel terrible for my son and the fact he has to deal with these things at such a young age.
Yet I won't change where I stand. And I give in to small things when I can and give extra attention when I'm able. (went to his yeshiva one day lunch time and took him out for lunch instead of him sitting there himself. Didn't solve the problem. But I'm really just here in these hard times for him)

Hashem gave him you as a mother. You are the best mother for him. What you say matters. Doesn't matter what everyone is doing. Yet it's important to sit with his feelings and not push them aside as they are not important. They are important. And you don't need to give in.

Sending lots of strength to handle these hard situations. Hashem should give you clarity and the ability to stay strong and loving. And not snap.

↑ Chayalle

Today at 9:58 am

I'm going to say this very carefully. It's hard to tell from this particular thread (we only hear OP's POV really) how intense this really is, but when she mentioned that every single boy in his class does have one besides for her son....it made me think of this.
Sometimes we make a particular topic into a hill to die on. It may be because of safety, Hashkafa, etc....and really valid reasons. Coming from good parenting. But we have to be careful. We can lose a relationship in that process. And relationships is what keep our teens where we want them to be. So it can be a tough place, and we have to evaluate (sometimes with a Rabbi, Chinuch professional, or other professional) whether our very valid boundary is worth moving a little bit.