Who is responsible and in what way?

amother

NeonPurple

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 3:29 pm

Can she take an online course that can count as a replacement for the course? For example, if its math she's struggling with a) does she need all 4 years of it? Find out the bare minimum to graduate b) can she do a math class thats not algebra/calculus. Ex a money skills class, a geometry/architectural something idk... anything that the state will approve of that she could handle. She can do it while her class is taking that subject.

amother

Beige

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 3:46 pm

We are always the ones who need to be our child's advocate. (Devils advocate) Unfortunately schools are a business like a clothing store which sells you clothing but if you need alterations you are responsible to tend to it on your own. You need to push for whatever your child needs to help her graduate high school with her friends and her self esteem intact.
I think think the school may need to look aside to let her graduate with her friends. Even if you need to make a deal that she's still working on the missing subject over the summer. None of her peers need to know and should believe she is on the same page with them.
As a person with a learning disability and a parent of children trying to survive the school system I total get you about being ok with her taking her Ged later in life.

lamplighter ↓

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 3:53 pm

It is unclear what your daughter wants to do and also what kind of conversation you had with the school regarding her disability.
I don't understand needed x amount of tutoring until she gets an IEP. Never heard this, if she has a LD, then she automatically qualifies for modifications.
Did you share her diagnosis with the school?
Sounds like a conversation with your daughter about what she wants to do and what she is willing to do is in order. Then a meeting with the school, yourself and the results of her testing. It's a partnership, figure out with the school what a reasonable expectation in this situation is and what you can do to get there.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 3:58 pm

amother Beige wrote:

thank you, this was very validating Heart

To respond to those who mentioned about this not being about casting blame, I totally agree. I am not here to blame the school. We have already met with them and designed a plan of action that we were all comfortable with. I guess we assumed that the school would be more present within this process and having communication with my DD as well.

The reason why I brought up this post is because after my DD failed the first part of the retake course, we were notified by the school that it was obvious that my DD had not prepared enough and that we were not doing our part in ensuring that she was cooperating. This could not have been further from the truth and we will be meeting to rediscuss this with the administration. I just wanted to gain clarity and understanding before going to make sure that I'm not totally off base here, that I can safely assume and bring up that in order for this to work, the school has to be more involved to really understand my DD and how to best support her.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 4:01 pm

lamplighter wrote:

The psychometrist who administered the testing determined that she has a LD in a specific area, but that it won't be legally recognized unless she has had a certain amount of consistent intervention. Which means she will not be able to get an IEP until that point.

Yes, the results were sent directly to the school and we discussed it with them as well.

My DD wants so badly to be like everyone else. She tries so hard and then when she fails, it is so painful and discouraging for her. She gets really down about it and how "stupid" she is, that no matter how hard she tries, she can't do it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 4:36 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

I’m curious how it took until high school and her failing a years course to finally test for a learning disability. Did she have no struggles until now?

We had suspicions in middle school as well but the teacher of that subject did not teach it very well and the entire class struggled. It only became apparent that my DD was struggling on a different level when they got to high school

↑ lamplighter

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 4:43 pm

So she has a diagnosis but it's not confirmed until she has 6 months of intervention?
What is her diagnosis?
Does your DD know about the diagnosis?

Will the state accommodate her in 6 months?
Maybe focus on that.
Can your DD not get a school diploma and not a state one? In many places this is an option. The school diploma is based on the schools guidelines which is less than the state's.

Definitely a good idea to meet with the school again.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 4:56 pm

As many posters guessed correctly, it's a math learning disability. She has the diagnosis from the psychometrist, but it says on the eval results that although he recognizes and acknowledges the LD from her testing results, she can only "officially" get a diagnosis after said intervention, but that she should be treated and viewed as if she has one already, if the school will accommodate it. An official IEP can only come with an official diagnosis

amother

Canary

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 9:42 pm

can you wait the 6 months and then get the accommodation?

As far as the school communicating with your daughter, it could be they thought it was best to communicate with you. I would'n't look at that as the school not doing their part, maybe they thought that was best. At this point I do think it's a good idea to reach out to the administration as you suggested to let them know how much she prepared and what your options are going forward ex: waiting 6 months and getting accommodation. or is there possibly an alternate assignment she can do to receive credit for that class?

ora_43 ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 4:24 am

Wait so is the issue that the school should be helping her prepare? Or just that they shouldn't be jerks and assume that if she's not doing well, it must be because she's not trying hard enough (which must be because her parents aren't doing their part)?

I think the school should be doing both of those things, but the second is even more basic.

Is the school aware of her diagnosis?

↑ ora_43 ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 4:38 am

This is maybe slightly evil, but sometimes it helps to go on the offense a little. She's been in school there for how long? Did they ever suspect a learning disability? Did they offer her extra help? How does a child with a learning disability go through YEARS of classes with them without a teacher noticing there's a problem?

Not that they need to be groveling, exactly but they should have a little bit of shame. Just enough to not be huffily demanding better performance.

I like "we" language in these situations. "Yes, it's a shame none of us realized this earlier. At this point we have to be realistic about what tutoring is going to be able to accomplish in a (whatever)-month timeframe."

Also not-that-YOU'D-be-stupid language, like, re: "well if you just make her study harder...", "I'm guessing we're all familiar with this diagnosis. You don't need me to explain that even if she studies her best, she might not pass."

But again, this is all slightly aggressive. I personally have no patience for school administrators who have no patience for students with learning disabilities. Bunch of lazy jerks who think that if they graduate average-and-above students they must be good at educating, even if they had to kick out all of the 'problem' students along the way.

Ahem. Anyway.

But you know your kid's teachers and school and what they will/won't take kindly to.

src6

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 4:44 am

I don't really see what the big deal of a diploma is. Nowadays many people earn amazing incomes without ever having graduated high schools, and if she chooses to pursue a degree she can go for a GED when she is ready. If she is fine with that and you are fine with that, who cares?

I know other posters mention the benefits of pushing through a challenge and succeeding, but in my experience the biggest self-esteem crusher to a child is pushing through a challenge, being told over and over again to believe in yourself,
and then failing.

As far as the school - what are they threatening to do if she doesn't pass? Can you just ignore them if this is what dd needs to maintain her self-esteem?

↑ ora_43

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 5:08 am

BTW I'd also go straight to your dd's teachers. I think they have the most power to help boost her self-esteem. I was going to say homeroom teacher and math teacher, but support from teachers from other subjects where she is doing well can also be super helpful.

They absolutely should be partners in helping build her self-esteem. And most teachers will want to be a part of that.

I think your instinct to not push her too hard is a good one. It doesn't have to come at the expense of supporting her in studying. You can get her a tutor who specializes in LDs to help her prepare, while also stressing over and over that she's smart, and that if she fails it's no big deal, she can always get a GED later.