Grocery store "etiquette"

imaima ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:00 am

amother Phlox wrote:

For real?
The few times I've done that, it was an important phone call I was waiting all day for. Today it was my younger sister venting to me so I said hang on let me pay. But I didn't want to hang up on her.

So step out of the line and let other people pay first. Finish your conversation. Why are you in the line if your are not ready to concentrate on what you are doing?
Because wasting other people’s time is clearly fine

Last edited by imaima on Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:12 am; edited 1 time in total

↑ imaima ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:02 am

amother Cappuccino wrote:

I think this is quite nasty. Some people have no spare time and their time to shmooze is also their shopping time. Good for you that your life is less hectic and you have extra brain space to look around and judge everyone who is just trying to do their best.

The people with no spare time are the ones behind you in the line

↑ imaima ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:04 am

amother Cappuccino wrote:

No it’s quite entitled to have this attitude. Maybe spend more time being dan l’kaf zechus and seeing that people are clearly struggling. Do you think she wanted to waste time at check out? Maybe something is happening in her life. This is just really unbecoming of frum people, maybe help those who are struggling instead of just judging and ranting online.

Unbelievable
It’s entitled to act like there is no line full of frum people standing right behind you and waiting for you. Nothing will change drastically in your life from paying attention to cashiers. If you need to talk, don’t start paying

Last edited by imaima on Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:12 am; edited 1 time in total

↑ imaima ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:11 am

amother Hosta wrote:

I hear you OP.
Honestly there are those calls though, recently the board of ed called me to discuss my child. That was not planned, it was important, and I was in a public loud place. I wasn’t going to tell her to hang on while I paid (tho that wasn’t the situation but I wouldn’t have). Sometimes these things come up.

You absolutely can tell her to wait. You are not supposed to be ready to talk just because she called. You tell her to call in 5 minutes or tell her to wait and mute her etc. These are polite neutral ways to have a convo at a more convenient time and without sounding hectic.
And sometimes- omg - you miss the call and call back on your terms.
People it‘s not the 80-s. Who talks on the phone anyway?

amother

Cyclamen ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:26 am

imaima wrote:

If you've ever played phone tag for a week you understand why this is not always practical. If you don't take the call now you may need to wait another day, week, or longer to have this necessary conversation to get something settled.

Just like you are busy, they are busy, and it's not always possible to synchronize schedules, especially when you're not on the top of their to-do list (but what you need accomplished is a major one on yours).

↑ imaima ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:31 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

So step out of line if it’s that important. You don’t play phone tag with the store, it’s always there.

amother

↑ Cyclamen

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:35 am

imaima wrote:

So step out of line if it’s that important. You don’t play phone tag with the store, it’s always there.

If you step out of line in the middle of checkout, that doesn't usually help the people behind you, or the cashier. Needing to cancel the order, remove the items, and then re-scan them afterwards is also an inconvenience. Sometimes it feels more prudent to just finish checkout ASAP and then move to the side to finish the conversation.

amother

↑ Pumpkin ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:53 am

amother Steelblue wrote:

I am often on long lines and yes if I have to be on the phone I won't hang up to wait on line for 20 minutes. I have alot of doctors, I have a business and have to take calls, kids therapists, etc. and I try to be mindful during checkout but no it's not your issue, maybe you should learn to be one minute more patient especially since you don't seem to understand how busy others are, I'm sure you have the extra minute to wait.

Also if I hang up most important callers are hard to reach and it's another game of phone tag till we connect again.

We are not saying don't talk the entire time you are waiting in line (accept the other people will hear your conversation) but when it's your turn to pay please say hold on I'm just checking out and for those 3-5 mins either hold the call or offer to call back.
I'm a medical receptionist, the office I work for is only opened 3 hrs a day so I know how important it is to reach the people the time I'm in the office, I don't arrange the call before so often people will say can you hold on a moment or I will call you back in 5 mins. I really don't mind at all. If anything I'm happy to be told to hold, I know I will get to talk with that person to sort out the case and I will meanwhile get onto the next task or quickly get a drink etc.
This is a PSA that people remember only be on the phone whilst paying for extreme necessity and not because you have the time now to speak with someone you have been meaning to call.

↑ imaima

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:53 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

If you can do it asap and not leisurely like OP is describing

↑ ittsamother ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 1:56 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

If it's an important call, I can't imagine if you pick up and say "Hi, I'm so glad you called, I know this is a really important call, would you mind waiting just one moment so I can give you my full attention?" and then mute them for that one moment as you finish paying, that they're gonna angrily slam down the phone.

And how often does it happen that someone very important and crucial calls JUST as you're in middle of checking out? Let's be honest, 98% of the time people were already mid-conversation by the time they got to the cashier. (And even then, what exactly will happen if you tell the person on the line "excuse me for just one moment!" and mute them!)

Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 3:12 am

amother OP wrote:

Not literally for real.
But I find it rude and inconsiderate to shoppers behind you.
And saying hang on while I pay, is not trying to fill out a check, talk, and ask the cashier who to make the check out to at the same time...
It literally took triple the time. Never mind unloading with one hand while cashier is waiting for the rest of the stuff and everything else is bagged/boxed.

It's totally rude. Cashiers are human beings!

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 3:24 am

amother Olive wrote:

I always pay for the stuff that my kids eat in the store. If my kids want to snack while I'm shopping, we first go to the snack aisle and pick the snack. Then I go either on line or to the self-checkout and pay for the snack. Then I'll continue with the rest of the shopping....

In regard to having a phone conversation, sometimes that's literally the only time I can talk on the phone. Usually I hang up when I get to the cashier but sometimes I don't. Happens to be. I don't shop in a busy store usually and there's usually nobody behind me online...

It's very problematic Halachicly to eat first and then pay. If there is an emergency and you need to run out if the store and haven't paid?

JasmineDragon

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 6:58 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

It's very problematic Halachicly to eat first and then pay. If there is an emergency and you need to run out if the store and haven't paid?

The person you're quoting said she doesn't let her kids eat before she pays. She checks out twice, once for their snacks and then for the rest of the groceries.

singleagain

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 7:21 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

As someone who has worked the register... You don't have to cancel the order most POS systems have an option to place it on hold. Which is kinda like a pause button, and you don't have to rescan.

But honestly... If the line is long, imagine putting your stuff on hold then trying to come back and interrupting the line. That's not pleasant.

But as someone who's worked the register. If you must be on the phone, don't make the cashier feel bad for interrupting your call. And don't make the cashier have to get your attention.

As someone who talks to her best friend when she's in the car and will sometimes go through the drive thru. I interrupt out conversation with "one sec. I'm almost at the speakers / window" and then lower the volume as I get closer.

As a person who talks on the phone and the other person will sometimes be distracted bc you know life.. I always appreciate when I'm told "one sec. She's in front of my face let me talk to her" this prevents me from saying something when my person is distracted that I will have to repeat.

amother

Cerulean ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 10:24 am

I also pay for toddlers snack before I let her eat it. Usually people are so nice, they see me holding one snack and will let me go ahead of them-(yes even very busy people ahead of me.)

People if your so busy. Please figure out a better shopping solution. Or walk a little faster while you shop, and be patient to other people in the store.

In many situations you think your multitasking by talking and paying together but it actually takes longer. So if your time is limited. What your doing is counterproductive.

The fastest way to shop is actually to be present. Take note of the shortest line. Actually help the person in front of you pay faster. Move her toddler put of the way for her. Pick up something she dropped.

For Dan L'chaf Zechus. I usually try to be patient for such people. They probably have Adhd or very self centered. Nothing anyone wrote here so far is considered an emergency. Some are just people pleasing examples.

notshanarishona

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 10:42 am

If you are the person who is considering talking on your phone while checking out you need to hear the message that it’s rude
If you are the person waiting behind them you need to hear the message to judge them favorably.
Both messages can be true

amother

↑ Cerulean

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 11:03 am

I once had a woman scream at me to go faster. While the store had long lines and I was paying for my Yom to order. I told politely informed her that this is what the store looks like when you ship at this time of day, day of the week this time of year. She actually calmed down and thanked me. She said she usually doesn't have the luxury to ever shop in person. And she was never in the store at this time.

Keep in mind that people are not robots. For some it the distraction of the phone. Others have trouble walking or their kids. It's important to adjust your expectation of how long grocery shopping takes. And also adding a little extra time for "traffic". All those annoying behaviors of other that make it take longer. Whatever the time of day or season

I can't tell you how many times I go into the grocery before babysitters pickup time when someone is annoyed that the
Human in front of her is taking to long. Guess what, we all have the same idea the grocery is crowded then, and it's not going to take you as quick as you were hoping.