Short socks for high school girl. Is this the new norm?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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Tao

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 1:03 am

amother OP wrote:

Ok so someone gets what I'm saying! Horray!!
If some ppl are stuck on the term I used to describe myself, I take it back.
According to some, I AM yeshivish, I always cover my legs, and I try to instill those values in my children. Now, getting back to the subject at hand, I just wanted to stress that she is not doing it to rebel, she is seeing it everywhere! So, again my question remains: what changed and what can I do?
(And just to put it out there, these are girls that go to mainstream camps that do not allow any skin to be visible on the leg)

Lol. I have been called both "modern" and "yeshivish" and my sheitel has been described as both "long" and "short", depending on who I'm talking to. Which makes me think I'm middle of the road, since no-one can agree LOL

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 1:04 am

One girl wears short socks with a skirt down to the floor and the next girl wears short socks with a skirt 5 inches off the floor. Let's keep in mind when kids say "everybody" what they really mean...

amother

Thistle ↓

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 1:35 am

I'm really floored by this conversation. I had epic showdowns with my mother regarding legware in highschool and looking back, I realize that teens push limits and even getting into the discussion about it, means you lost the battle. If ur teen daughter is complaining about socks then chances are, she will be complaining about other tznius rules as well.

Discuss away on imamother but when ur daughter starts in on sock length, the best way to handle it is to ignore it. I personally save my tznius battles for much more important things. Just my opinion here.

amother

NeonPurple

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 1:39 am

Op, I’m in Lakewood too and fighting with my high school girls all summer. I just stopped. It’s a losing battle and it’s all over, not sure how it became ok. I see it all over.
No answer. Just validating.
And listening….
No, it’s not the worst thing but def a slippery slope.

amother

Winterberry

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 2:48 am

we only do shorter socks with long skirts
knee socks or tights otherwise
hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Clematis

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 2:52 am

I'm actually really happy about this.

Halachically I don't see an issue, but it wasn't acceptable till now. I have sensory issues and I'm pregnant too now and literally I've only been wearing this all summer.

It's really made everything so much more bearable for me. The feelings of sweaty stockings glued to my legs is the worst.

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 4:52 am

I see BY girls out of school with tee shirt sleeves (above elbow) and sock/shoe doesn't meet skirt. Or ankle length and barefoot sandal. Some moms too.

singleagain

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 6:31 am

You know..I don't think socks were a thing in the midbar.... Just saying.

balibusta ↓

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 6:39 am

I see alot of mothers wearing short socks and sneakers with long skirts so I guess the kids dont think yhey havta wear longer skirts than their mothere

amother

↑ Tealblue ↓

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 7:16 am

amother OP wrote:

It's really interesting how ppl are posting it's not new. I'm in lakewood over 20 years. I've never seen it the first 17 years... Maybe Monsey and Flatbush, it was more accepted. Definitely not here.
From some Bais Kaila, Chedvas, BBY girls yes.. (and I'm not judging anybody). but not more middle of the road "yeshivish" branded schools.
And I do remember slouch socks (am I giving away my age?!l) But my friends who wore them wore skirts to the floor!!!

I went to Yeshiva of Brooklyn. That is very yeshivish.
Many of us wore long skirts short socks. Maybe the short socks were a bit longer than bec below ankle socks wasn't a thing anywhere.

amother

↑ Tealblue

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 7:20 am

amother Oldlace wrote:

I'm thinking this must be happening because sneakers became something mainstream to wear a short while ago (wasn't a few years ago), so most of us were wearing short socks on top of our stockings to make it look cuter. And then maybe it became no stockings under the socks? Just to pinpoint the origin of the issue.
I also notice slits now. So it looks like the 90s are back in style and also with the tzinus issues of the times- I remember high school teachers yelling about these issues back then as well. I think they were called "bobby socks" or something.
We stopped educating our girls with all this because there was no need, nobody did it. Maybe they have to relearn the rules of slits and short socks again. Probably nobody was discussing it.

Slits- true.
Growing up only people that we called very 'modern' would have slit even underneath their knee. In Flatbush, they also wore short skirts, no stockings, type.

Now I see women, jpf or yeshivish light, who wear not just the kind of skirt that's more like a wrap so it'll open a little on the bottom (which I wear) but even skirts that have a real V slit all the way up to their knee. Technically it's the same thing but for some reason in my brain, it's a different look.

↑ balibusta

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 9:15 am

I agree I see ppl wearing slits that back in the day when I was a girl was considered a real no-no and we always ran to sew up slits..

amother

Orchid

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 9:19 am

Didn't read all the comments, but I see lots of girls in my community wearing ankle socks with long skirts, even though their mothers don't. When my 13 year old daughter said she wants to also, I decided to not make it into a fight and just explain that some things are halacha and some are not. So even though I don't love the idea of ankle socks, since it is not a halachic problem she can. I think it's super important to teach kids what's halacha and what's chumra so that when they want to be lax they understand what is not to be compromised.

Green Tea

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 9:57 am

Slits are a classic issue. It may not be clear cut for younger girls who aren't familiar with the hashkafic unwritten guidelines. I spoke with a rav about this, he said the black and white Halacha is that it’s totally halachically acceptable to have it up to the knee. But minhag hamakom - Other rabbonim can be really strong about no slits and that’s per the hashkafa.

sara1232

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 10:26 am

singleagain wrote:

You know..I don't think socks were a thing in the midbar.... Just saying.

Exactly lol I don't get this thread. Our imahos wore long skirts and open sandals with their toes sticking out. And here we are obsessing over the sliver of ankle that might be visible while getting into a car. It's getting a little out of hand.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 10:40 am

Bais yaakov of queens when I was a child let short socks as long as you wore long skirts. Covered is covered. For the record long with no socks used to be the norm since you can't see the feet. The knee socks look is relatively new. I mean I prefer it over pantyhose but long skirts are better in my opinion.

Chayalle ↓

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 11:02 am

amother Thistle wrote:

It's funny to me actually, that my teen is now dressing similarly to the way I dressed in high school. My older DD's didn't, because it wasn't in style. What goes around comes around...especially with fashion. And yes, I could have the same showdowns with her that my mother had with me LOL.
I do tell DD that the shorter socks should be worn with longer skirts, so practically speaking I see her trying to stretch the shorter socks longer, and move her skirt down a little on her waist, well at least when I'm around....I'm not making an epic battle over it. I think BEH she'll go the same way I did - she'll grow into herself and be more tznius when she's ready.

I actually think the shorter socks style is an outgrowth of the whole popularization of sportswear. Just like it became in style to spend a fortune of $$$ on lululemon, alo, and other designer sportswear clothes, socks has become a "thing". Girls spend a ton of $$$ on designer socks (or they get knockoffs from Ali) and it's all about what's in. Knee socks isn't a thing with designers, hence shorter crew socks are in.

amother

↑ Stonewash ↓

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 11:26 am

Chayalle wrote:

Actually Alo and Lululemon make socks long enough to reach my short daughter’s knee 😄

↑ Chayalle

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 11:29 am

amother Stonewash wrote:

Actually Alo and Lululemon make socks long enough to reach my short daughter’s knee 😄

Good to know. Though my teen is a pretty average height. Only my oldest DD is petite.

amother

↑ Stonewash

Thu, Aug 29 2024, 11:31 am

Chayalle wrote:

Good to know. Though my teen is a pretty average height. Only my oldest DD is petite.

It’s a stretch and they fall a little, but would only be an issue with a short skirt. They’re def longer than the standard short ones.

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