At my wits end! How do I punish a kid who keeps flushing thi

amother

↑ Honey

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 3:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

We installed a hook and eye and he started locking people in the bathroom so we removed it 🤦‍♀️

Ah. One of those. Repeat after me- creative and determined. One day these will be good things...

I'd look for the doorknob thing. But realistically, noisy toys did more for us than anything else.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 3:40 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

Can you get the plumber to educate him? many ADHD kids are really inquisitive. If the plumber teaches him about pipes and how toys don't fit and he can only flush stuff that fits or is meant to be flushed. Turn it into a science lesson.

I like that actually. He is very inquisitive and I think he’s flushing things because he wants to see if it will fit down the pipe

amother

↑ Chestnut ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 3:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

I like that actually. He is very inquisitive and I think he’s flushing things because he wants to see if it will fit down the pipe

in case you didn't see I edited my original post

Editing to add. just remembered that when my adhd son was this age, I bought him a toy of interconnecting pipes and he would flush marbles down them with water. something like this https://www.temu.com/ul/kuiper.....w_wcBthis

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 3:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

He doesn’t care if I take away a toy or something. For now I told him he’s not allowed to go into any bathroom without permission first and if I catch him in a bathroom without asking me first he has to go to his room. He said ok. Let’s see how long that lasts 🙄

We have a child like this and at about 12 we realized the child is probably HFASD and went for an eval. Sure enough, HFASD.
My regular non-ADHD child, DH and myself (also ADHD), never ever did/do such things and certainly we absolutely DID care (child DOES care) if there is a consequence afterwards.
The not caring about anything seems to be part of ASD kids living in their own little world. They truly don't care about a lot of things the rest of us do care about. Because they live in a different kind of world than we do.

Please DO NOT put your child back in a diaper as a consequence. That is so demeaning, dehumanizing, and it's just wrong, even abusive on so many levels. No no no. Maybe check the kid's hands whenever he goes into the bathroom, but a diaper, no, that takes away basic bodily autonomy over a basic bodily function, NO. JUST NO.

amother

↑ Ecru

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 3:59 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

Maybe he can also ask the plumber if there's a rusted pipe or one with a hole he replaced that he can give to your son in addition to these kinds of toys.

amother

Catmint ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 4:01 pm

Get him a small plastic pipe from Home Depot, and a bin and tell him he can use water and play with it to see what fits down the pipe. Maybe outside so he doesn’t get hour house wet.

amother

↑ Catmint

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 4:02 pm

amother Ecru wrote:

Maybe he can also ask the plumber if there's a rusted pipe or one with a hole he replaced that he can give to your son in addition to these kinds of toys.

Rusted pipe is dangerous. Better to buy a cheap one.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 4:16 pm

amother Catmint wrote:

Get him a small plastic pipe from Home Depot, and a bin and tell him he can use water and play with it to see what fits down the pipe. Maybe outside so he doesn’t get hour house wet.

Good idea thanks

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 4:18 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

I wonder if he has asd. He’s super friendly and social though.
I agree with everything you wrote

imasinger

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 4:33 pm

Some kids with ASD are super friendly and outgoing. What is worth noting is if they have trouble with perspective taking -- understanding someone else's point of view.

It's worth testing, even to rule it out.

You might also want to make a list together of activities he can do independently and enjoys, and add pictures. Maybe he can get a reward for making good choices?

amother

NeonGreen

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 4:49 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I have multiple boys with adhd and a girl who may have it too. Wont be shocked lol. Have you heard of the concept of adjusted age?

https://honestlyadhd.com/adhd-executive-age/

This helps me a lot to have realistic expectations of my kids and not get angry so often.

Also as much I like natural consequences I am not sure a 5 year who really is more like a 3 yo maturity wise is able to put the action together with the consequence and not do it again.

Thank you for this article and giving me this perspective.
I was almost in tears reading it.
I really needed to see this today.

As my daughter nears 9 we are getting increasingly frustrated with her behaviours. Realising that our expectations should be more aligned with what we’d expect of a 5-6 year old will help me adjust.

amother

↑ Chestnut

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 10:30 pm

I have kids with ASD and kids with ADHD. The not caring about taking stuff away with ADHD isn't because they don't relate, it's an impulsivity thing. When he wants to flush something, he is thinking about the next ten seconds and the high he will get from flushing. Nothing else is in his head at that minute. If he doesn't want that toy at that second, it's not in his thought process.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Aug 16 2024, 3:21 am

Great advice above, all of it.
Please remember your son wont be 5 forever, and this behavior will pass.
I know its hard while your are going through it and searching for the best and most effective solution, but bezras Hashem you will see much nachas from him and this story will be great story for your future dil...

amother

Yarrow

Fri, Aug 16 2024, 7:58 am

obviously flushing things is fascinating for him. offer him items that can be flushed safely, like cheerios.

do a project with him where you cut out pictures of items and sort them into 2 categories:
safe to flush vs/ not safe to flush.

for the pictures of items not safe, let them be funny and outrageous like a chair or a box, along with realistic things he might have already flushed like lego pieces, toy cars, etc.
for the safe to flush put cheerios, toilet paper squares, colorful jelly beans, colorful drinks to pour in the toilet, chocolate chips, corn flakes.

he will learn what is safe and what is not safe to flush. and hopefully he'll outgrow the fascination soon.
you aren't succeeding in winning here by controlling his behaviour, so meet him halfway and lessen the damages for now.

amother

Dahlia

Fri, Aug 16 2024, 12:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

How do I punish a kid who keeps flushing things down the toilet?? Ds5 has adhd. For some reason has a fascination with flushing toys. He’s done this multiple times over the past 2 years and each time the plumber charges us $100 to unclog the toilet. Now he just flushed another toy down and the toilet is overflowing. I’m losing my mind. Punishments aren’t helping. He can’t control himself. Five years old is too old for this. What am I supposed to do???

Check out Dr. Koslowitz's Instagram and YouTube channel. She has these step by step guides for gamifying teaching impulsive kids how to handle their nature. I had something similar and she actually just posted a Reel today explaining it and a YouTube video for exactly this kind of kid. Her channel is Post-Traumatic Parenting.
https://youtu.be/NYV08ps7o4c?s.....amyN_