So badly want to go where will we fit in?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:04 am

kermit wrote:

There's a new community being built for Americans in Israel called Givat Hashalva that is right outside yerushalayim. Most buyers there are already living in Israel a few years, like started marriage there.

Husband and I have been eyeing it bc it's supposed to be a nice, frum, American community and the apartments are very big with lots of outdoor space.

Husband also is less on board moving to E"Y than I am, but we've been talking about it nonstop and his latest is if Kamala wins he's making aliyah. I'm not holding my breath but I am dreaming lol. it's good to keep the dream alive, maybe one day it will happen that way.

Wow that sounds amazing. Do you know if there are families with older kids also (preteens)

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:05 am

Just One wrote:

I see nothing here that tells me that your family is a good candidate for aliyah right now. You're in debt, just started a new business, cannot afford to do a pilot trip. How will you afford starting a whole new life and the financial stress that comes with it?
That along with your kids ages makes it seem like a good idea to hold off for now. In five- ten years you will hopefully be better positioned to consider aliyah again but right now it doesn't seem realistic.

Interesting why you say this. Isn’t it the earlier the better?

LovesHashem ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Wow that sounds amazing. Do you know if there are families with older kids also (preteens)

TLDR, these projects are usually really expensive though, as an FYI

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:06 am

amother Red wrote:

OP wants a house, or at least a duplex apartment but she doesn't have an unlimited budget.
She doesn't want city life, she said she wants "OOT feel"
She needs a middle of the road Anglo community.
She needs a variety of schools that aren't impossible to get into.
She wants to be near the Kotel, the more affordable areas of Jerusalem can be almost as far as RBS.
There may be suitable schools for all of her children in Jerusalem but they likely will be all over the city. In RBS things are much closer to each other and much more accessible with a car. It's super suburban.

But how is it a „stage“? These are criteria.
I thought you meant that OP is in a specific stage that’s not suitable for Jerusalem

↑ Just One ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:22 am

amother OP wrote:

I can’t believe this is allowed to pass on imamother. If this was a thread about why don’t all Jews go I’d be eaten up alive for my “excuses”. Yet only because I expressed some interest in going am I allowed to be told it’s ok not to go

It's like Reality said. In general, Israel is the ideal place for a Jew to live. However, individually we have to look at practical factors.
Your dream of aliyah is admirable and I believe attainable. But not right now.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:26 am

Just One wrote:

A

I literally got eaten up alive on other threads about this. So I appreciate the support here

↑ Just One ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:27 am

amother Blue wrote:

Interesting why you say this. Isn’t it the earlier the better?

In general, earlier is better because young kids have an easier time adjusting.
That ship had sailed for OP. Her kids are now at a vulnerable stage. That along with the financial factors don't make this the ideal time for her family even if her husband would be fully on board.
In a couple of years, when her kids are older and finances more stable, it might be a good time to reconsider.

Rubber Ducky

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:28 am

OP, you sound very idealistic, but maybe now is not the right time.

How about putting your energy into making that start-up business successful? Then bring it with you or sell it, and then you will have enough capital to make your aliyah much smoother?

amother

Trillium

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:38 am

amother OP wrote:

He’s not against it per se, he just has zero desire for it and doesn’t see why we need to uproot our family that is functioning relatively well here in America. And it would mean leaving his shul and his community. To me it’s a no brainer to live in E”Y but I know everyone’s needs are very important to consider here. And his perspective is valid too.

I was just hoping If maybe I found an appropriate community he would consider it

But then why on all the Aliyah threads do people yell at me that I am not coming because I’m lazy and they’re sick of my excuses.

You are not being fair. You are cherry picking.

On most aliya threads the tons of posts from people who live in the US who are saying that they don't want to uproot their family, move from their friends, community, and everything they know and go to Israel.

Of course there's the Israel side saying it's worth the sacrifice.

But you shouldn't portray this discussion as if everyone is on the same side saying to stop making excuses and go.

If anything there are more people saying it isn't for them and advocating staying in the US than the other way.

amother

↑ Red ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:41 am

amother Blue wrote:

But how is it a „stage“? These are criteria.
I thought you meant that OP is in a specific stage that’s not suitable for Jerusalem

If OP makes aliyah when her children are finished with school she will be at a different stage of life and Jerusalem may be appropriate for her.
She's at a stage of life now that it's not, because of her requirements.

essie14 ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:45 am

amother OP wrote:

A

I literally got eaten up alive on other threads about this. So I appreciate the support here

I don't know what other threads you've posted on, but just based on the fact that your husband isn't on board, I fully support you not making aliyah now.

Combine that with the ages of your kids who may or may not be on board, and that translates to a very difficult aliyah.

On top of that you said you have debt and I can't remember if you have job opportunities here.

Putting all those together, you are well within the category of "it's not the time now".

Yes, in general, many believe that all Jews belong in Israel but that doesn't mean that the time is right for each specific person.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 8:53 am

amother Trillium wrote:

I was one of the main people on those threads and I was attacked and eaten up alive because I couldn’t go. They said if I really wanted to I would go and it’s because I don’t want to give up my cushy life in America. And my “excuses” made them sick

↑ Reality ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 9:29 am

amother OP wrote:

Were you amother Ginger on one of those threads?

If yes, you literally took offense at every general post that had nothing to do with your specific set of circumstances. When people posted about a gemara that said one of the things you are allowed to get divorced over is moving to Israel, you took it as if that poster said, lady get divorced. Nobody said that. Now do I think it was the smartest thing to quote that gemara? Not at all but it wasn't directed at anyone specifically. It was just posted as part of a greater conversation as a proof of "look how integral living in Israel is to Judaism, you can even divorce your spouse over it".

OP, I wish with all my heart that your circumstances change for the better and you are able to fulfil all of your dreams!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 9:37 am

Reality wrote:

I honestly don’t remember who I was I don’t think it was ginger. But I was told my “excuses” made someone sick.

Anyways, I really want to go with all my heart and I hope that it can happen for our family very soon. And whoever chooses not to go for whatever reason, whether their excuses are “valid” or not should be zoche to live in the beauty of E”Y with moshaich

↑ kermit ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 10:28 am

amother OP wrote:

Ugh ok

I'm not sure about preteens I didn't ask bc we have 4th grader, why not email them and ask?

4 bedroom is 1.1m, 3bd is 900k. for us we've been saving for a house in bklyn so it's what we can swing but not sure how it compares.

we want to be in a more American area bc it will make the transition easier, and comparable size in RBS was more. are there other American areas with large apartments for less?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 10:31 am

kermit wrote:

Ya no way is that happening for us with so prices. So sad