So badly want to go where will we fit in?

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:22 am

DH has no desire to leave and move to E”Y.
I have a burning desire.
We have a new business we just started and lots of debt from living life, but I’m not letting the financials worry me.

My concern is more where will we go and where will my kids fit in. We definitely need very Anglo, but I don’t want Ramat Bet Shemesh, I just think it’s too big.
Also ideally I’d love to be in yerushalayim although I know what is highly improbable financially and otherwise.
My kids are used to a house (not huge but just a normal size house), so we need a 4 bedroom ideally. Is this even feasible?

Also, we are middle of the road, if we have to say, lean more to the right, but we watch kosher movies, DH wears colored shirts (although he may be willing to change that), I don’t demand knee socks before BAS mitzvah. DH has chassidish roots so we’d need a shteibel too, but we aren’t chassidish, aren’t looking for any of the restrictions or being bound to a rebbe. Just a nice heimishe chassidishe davening

Any recommendations as to where we’d fit in?

amother

Cinnamon ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:33 am

If your husband has no desire to leave, this is a nonstarter. Don’t waste your time thinking about where to move. Are you planning to drag your husband along or to leave him behind? Both are unacceptable options.

Also, to go with two preteens would be asking for trouble. The time to make aliyah is before your kids reach that vulnerable stage.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:35 am

amother Cinnamon wrote:

If your husband has no desire to leave, this is a nonstarter. Don’t waste your time thinking about where to move. Are you planning to drag your husband along or to leave him behind?

Also, to go with two preteens would be asking for trouble. The time to make aliyah is before your kids reach that vulnerable stage.

So funny because whenever there are threads here about why don’t Jews leave America etc. everyone gets all upset that our excuses are so stupid and lame. And now you are giving me an “excuse” (not that I am looking for an excuse, I wish I can go, but I know circumstances are not in my favor)

amother

↑ Cinnamon

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:40 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m not Israeli, it’s the Israeli women on the site who sometimes get angry that we’re not all coming to join them. I’m an American up way too late at night.

But these aren’t excuses. These are solid reasons for you to put this idea in a drawer for the foreseeable future. I am not interested in making aliyah and if my husband started a thread on imafather to analyze where we could live in Israel, I would be furious and hurt that he’s acting like my opinion isn’t enough for him to stop pursuing the idea. If one of the spouses are not on board, that’s the end of the discussion imo.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:43 am

amother Cinnamon wrote:

Ok, for sure. I was just garnering info because if I found somewhere that we might actually do well as a family (I’m not sure that’s even feasible), at least I have some more ground to stand on to ask him to at least consider it.
Right now I have nothing

amother

↑ Dustypink ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:47 am

Also, RBS is much smaller than Yerushalayim. Not sure what you mean about it being too big. Unless you are looking for a yishuv?

There was a thread or two here a few months ago with someone looking for heimish shuls for her husband. You should be able to find it, I think there will be helpful info on that thread.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:48 am

amother Dustypink wrote:

I dont know if I agree with the preteen thing.
But how can you come here if your husband is against it? I think that's a non starter.

He’s not against it per se, he just has zero desire for it and doesn’t see why we need to uproot our family that is functioning relatively well here in America. And it would mean leaving his shul and his community. To me it’s a no brainer to live in E”Y but I know everyone’s needs are very important to consider here. And his perspective is valid too.

I was just hoping If maybe I found an appropriate community he would consider it

But then why on all the Aliyah threads do people yell at me that I am not coming because I’m lazy and they’re sick of my excuses.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:49 am

amother Dustypink wrote:

I only Want yerushalayim because I want to be close to the kotel. My family who lives in bet shemesh goes to the kotel once a year maybe.

amother

Phlox ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 12:53 am

amother OP wrote:

I only Want yerushalayim because I want to be close to the kotel. My family who lives in bet shemesh goes to the kotel once a year maybe.

There are ppl here in RBS who go every week to the Kotel. It’s definitely doable by bus or car. We go to Yerushalayim sometimes 3x in a week.

amother

Daffodil

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 1:01 am

amother OP wrote:

Absolutely everything written on Imamother should be taken with a grain of salt. I understand you wanting to research and consider your options, and wanting to make Aliya is a lofty goal, but don't ever let the the ladies here make you feel bad for doing what is best for you and your family.
I write all this as an Israeli.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 1:02 am

amother Phlox wrote:

There are ppl here in RBS who go every week to the Kotel. It’s definitely doable by bus or car. We go to Yerushalayim sometimes 3x in a week.

We come from an out of town community in the US. Is there anywhere in RBS that we would feel like out of town a bit (everyone friendly, not everyone on top of each other, smaller community, but still large enough that we don’t know everyone necessarily).

Green Tea ↓

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 1:34 am

Efrat! It’s quite chill but more slanted to Dati leumi/chardal

Neve Yaakov technically part of Jerusalem is nice and smallish and has a wonderful chassidish community and davening. The community is very Anglo there.

Maale Amos is a new chassidish kehila in yehuda v’shomron:
https://ch10.co.il/news/866117/
https://maps.app.goo.gl/dDyj3N......copy

If you want more, I can try to help and ask those who know more kehilos.(you can try and pm me)

amother

Silver

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 1:47 am

OP,
I commend you.
As long as your husband is not opposed to your thinking along these lines I think it’s fine to get your feet wet with some research.

And yes you can share the research with your husband and maybe slowly slowly a path will open up.

You can also try the “It’s Shayech” division of NBN and do a consultation with them.

Also, it can work with preteens if they’re on board. (And you can maybe do a pilot trip at one point and maybe they will gradually get on board.

My brother moved with kids approximately 14, 12, and 8 and BH they are so Israeli now (MO)

BadTichelDay

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 1:56 am

Why should OP's dh's no-Aliyah interest settle the matter automatically? They both have equally valid opinions and desires. That doesn't mean the pro-Aliyah partner has to fold and give up right away. There is always the possibility of convincing the other side.

OP, however, you do need to get your dh on board before making such a big move. Otherwise it could put a huge strain on your marriage or even destroy it, and your dh might blame you for any difficulties and hardships that arise from making Aliyah. And there will be some bumps in the road inevitably. It's a big, life-changing undertaking that can only be done *together*. He needs to be truly willing to come along.

Have you and your dh visited Israel together? If not, I think you ought to, the two of you, and your kids, get a good look around, including looking at different possibly interesting neighborhoods, and try to picture living there. Let dh try out diffetent shuls. Enquire about schools that could fit your kids. Try out every day life in Israel for a bit, away from the touristy stuff. Speak to other Anglos who have made Aliyah about their experiences.

Speaking of living, you need to have a solid plan on how to make a living in Israel, too. Who would work in what?

imaima

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 1:58 am

amother OP wrote:

That’s what rbs feels like to me