Is it socially off...

amother

↑ Steelblue

Tue, May 28 2024, 4:45 pm

amother Aster wrote:

I usually don't mind. But we made a simcha recently and after turning over all of Bnei Brak looking for a dress, I went into a super cheap store and found a stunning dress that looked very expensive and I bought it for a joke of a price. At the simcha when people asked me where I bought it, I did hesitate for a split second before answering.

Lol. This happened to me a few years ago when I was looking for a dress for my daughter to wear to a family wedding. After having no luck in many expensive stores I walked past an outdoor rack of a cheap store and saw this dress for about 70 ₪. I took it to a seamstress to make some minor alterations. so it would sit on her better and for less than 100₪ she had this most beautiful dress.
When absolutely everybody asked me where the dress was from I was torn between telling the truth and being really proud of how good she looked for so little and making up a little white lie. The kicker was , that this was actually quite a high profile wedding and some big celebrities in the Israeli fashion world were invited. One of them actually approached my daughter to ask her where the dress was from and told her how beautiful she looked in it.

amother

↑ Freesia

Tue, May 28 2024, 5:10 pm

zaq wrote:

eeeewwww...stalkerish.

You bet! If you spot my daughter on the street, please refrain from texting me to inquire about the brand and cost of her cross-body bag just because you saw her from a distance.

↑ zaq

Tue, May 28 2024, 5:12 pm

amother Aster wrote:

Snooping? I change their diapers. I'm handling their clothing anyway. When I put them back together, I'll sometimes check their labels. And it's not to be a yenta, it's because I may want to buy it for my own kids.

Still snooping. The label doesn't slap you in the face, you're CHECKING it. Your wording, not mine. And why not ask the moms? What does that cost you?

An exception is if there's a label on the outside of the garment. That's a label that's expected to be read by all and sundry.

amother

↑ Aster

Tue, May 28 2024, 5:20 pm

zaq wrote:

Oh please. These are babies. We're not talking about women's clothing here. There's nothing secretive about whether it was bought in Leader or Kidichic.

I don't ask the moms because I rarely see them. It's mostly the dads who drop off and pick up, and I'm sure they have no idea where the clothing was bought.

amother

↑ Anemone

Tue, May 28 2024, 5:30 pm

I have been influenced! Bought this denim set today - super cute, runs true to size. The top will need a snap though

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....r=423

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....r=423

amother

Magnolia

Tue, May 28 2024, 5:34 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

It could get sensitive if she is caught shopping in a cheap place. Money is tight now. You might embarrass her. It might be a place that everybody shops but she might like to keep it vague that she can't afford the better stores.

I would leave it alone.

I hate denim anyway.

What is a “cheap place?”

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya

Tue, May 28 2024, 11:09 pm

amother Cornsilk wrote:

Wanting to buy what someone else has is not a prohibition of lo tachmod (or any other). Lo tachmod is primarily about getting something from the other person so that they no longer have it. Like pressuring them to sell it to you, or convincing someone to get divorced so you can marry her afterwards.

Ask your Rav but checking someones clothing label without permission or pressuring them to tell you where they bought something, when they are clearly uncomfortable and dont want to - may be the same same as pressuring them to sell it to you...What you are taking, and what they no longer have is their uniqueness. They may not feel comfortable if everyone is wearing what they are.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, May 28 2024, 11:28 pm

anothermother6 wrote:

I saw a denim set in Polka Dot (not in Brooklyn though).

I wonder if I could crowd source here lol...

It was a denim set, but more dressed up, not casual. Like a dark wash, a line, knee length skirt with a short sleeve, boxy, blazer-ish top. (Worn with a long sleeve T/shell). Any leads?

amother

Dandelion

Wed, May 29 2024, 12:05 am

I do think it's socially off and/or inappropriate...
Especially if you're a teacher/professional and this is a parent of a student in the school!
It's not about hiding where you shop etc...
I would have no problem if my neighbor or SIL would ask me (and I would happily share the link!)
I would be horrified though if a teacher in one of my kids schools asked me where I bought my outfit!! just strikes me as very unprofessional...