How many calories on a diet for a 5”4 tenth grader?

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Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise

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amother

OP ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:18 pm

How many calories on a diet for a 5”4 tenth grader?

amother

Whitewash

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:18 pm

How much does she weigh?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:24 pm

Over 200

wife101

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:25 pm

How quickly does she want to lose weight? 1200 is very intense. 1500 will be a little slower.

amother

Purple

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:28 pm

From the bottom of my heart I beg you please please don’t put a 10th grader on a diet

amother

Steelblue

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:31 pm

Send her to a good nutritionist that will teach her about healthy eating
Please don’t talk about calories
She will forever be scarred and have an unhealthy relationship with food and self image

joonabug

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:32 pm

yes dw about calories just she shoukd eat 3 balanced meals a day and if she wants a snack she should have nuts, chummus and carrots, an apple etc

PrairieFairy ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:36 pm

wife101 wrote:

How quickly does she want to lose weight? 1200 is very intense. 1500 will be a little slower.

Both of these are probably too intense for her. 1200 is not practical.

If she is maintaining 200lbs, she is eating more than that. At least 1800-1900 a day (if she is "healthy" without a nutrition related medical condition like thyroid etc).

She only needs to be at a slight deficit to lose weight. If it's extreme, she may feel restricted or not be able to stick to it at all. Especially if she is in HS.

For someone that height at a healthy BMI, they'd need at least 1550 calories to maintain in a sedentary lifestyle (more if she's exercising or playing sports).

Find a balanced diet so she can have everything (cake and candy and takeout like her friends) and focus on portion sizing and nutrition info (how to read labels).

A food plan made out of exchanges vs specific foods is easier to play around with what foods she can eat so she can feel included with her friends and not restricted.

OP, you are welcome to message me if you want more info on that or a referral to someone who can give you that kind of food plan for her.

Without anymore info, I'd probably say 1700 for where she is now. In the future after some weight loss, to reassess then with her then weight. But calorie counting in a vacuum for a teenager is more susceptible to eating disorders vs going the nutrition labels and understanding grams of macronutrients vs just calories. Healthier mindset.

But that's just my experience as someone who had an ED in those years and now works in the intuitive eating, nutrition, recovery fields.

amother

Lightgreen

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:46 pm

You need to send her to a nutritionist. Don’t try to do this yourself.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 7:51 pm

I am not putting her on a diet. This is coming completely from her. She does not want a nutritionist. It was offered multiple times.

amother

Maize

Sun, May 05 2024, 8:04 pm

Is there a genetic component here? Have you also done a full medical work up and /or gone to an endocrinologist? I think that a calorie restrictive diet in 10th grade is setting her up for a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and horrible relationships with food. Have you been modeling binge eating or unhealthy attitudes about food or body image?

And here’s more. Why put her on a decades long road of guilt about eating choices when there are many medicines available to treat obesity these days???? And other hormonal problems like PCOS too.

amother

Maroon ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 8:16 pm

Counting calories will only work temporarily. That’s the honest truth here.
Either she should cut out junk foods and sugar drinks or join weight watchers.
I tried everything when I was younger.
Everything.
At the end, only weight watchers worked.
And I had tried it 2 years earlier but I wasn’t so determined so I couldn’t stick with it.
Weight watchers allows all foods in moderation. And some foods are “free foods”.
Speaking from someone who struggled tremendously- try weight watchers.
Or just cut out cookies, cake, chips, soda and candy and go walking every day.
Either way- one of the 2 options will work.
But please don’t let her count calories.
If she insists on calorie counting she should have 2400 daily calories or she’ll develop an eating disorder Chas v’ shalom.

amother

Quince

Sun, May 05 2024, 8:33 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

Send her to a good nutritionist that will teach her about healthy eating
Please don’t talk about calories
She will forever be scarred and have an unhealthy relationship with food and self image

100% this. My son was quite overweight when he was around 14. I never pressured him, but I offered to bring him to a nutritionist after he mentioned being unhappy with his weight (it's best if it starts from them). She was amazing and taught him how to manage his weight and he lost more than 60 pounds. Eight years later, he is still maintaining his healthy weight on his own B"H.

If a parent tries to "teach nutrition" it can feel to a kid like you are controlling their food, or are dissatisfied with their appearance. A nutritionist is an objective outsider as well as a coach along the way.

Also, here's something my son enjoyed. Every week after his weekly weigh-in at the nutritionist, he had one "cheat" item. It gave him something to look forward to so he wouldn't feel like he will never be able to indulge again in his life. He also had a full week until his next weigh-in, so it wouldn't really affect his next weigh-in. I think that helped ease soem of the pressure. Again, he lost over 60 pounds and has mainatined it for 8+ years, so it clearly has worked for him.

ETA: I just saw that your daughter does not want a nutritionist. I will leave my post here for others to read.

↑ PrairieFairy ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 8:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

I am not putting her on a diet. This is coming completely from her. She does not want a nutritionist. It was offered multiple times.

This is a great opportunity for you to read between the lines.

Why is she asking? Did she have an epiphany that she wants to be healthy? Bullying? Worried about shidduchim? Struggling in school otherwise and feeling like at least she'll have her "weight" under control?

These are some of the reasons I started back then. I didn't know how to ask for help with this and didn't think a nutritionist would "get it".

She's probably asking something else. Hopefully it's just "I want to be healthy and be able to run and be active without getting out of breath", but if not, you have a great opportunity to talk with her and see what else is going on there.

If she is unwilling to speak with someone, you can speak to someone yourself so that you can model for her healthily and support and encourage in a loving way so she's not left to the voice in her head that can skew things.

A balanced meal plan (ADA exchange based including all components) can help her learn how to have a healthy lifestyle. If you learn that, you can teach her (I'd be happy to teach you or point you in a direction to self teach).

Kids trying to diet try bizarre things like no cake or bread or excessive veggies. It messes up metabolism (which can make it harder to lose weight), can lead to binging from offset restricting and lack of balance and eating disordered behaviors.

If you understand nutrition better, you can teach it to her in a balanced way if she is unwilling to to herself.

Sometimes it's just lack of knowledge. You can bring that to her.

Or try and find out her hesitations for a nutritionist and then see if you can come to a compromise so she can lose weight, but you have reassurance that she is being safe or has the resources she needs to feel empowered in it.

doodlesmom

Sun, May 05 2024, 8:41 pm

Counting calories is very difficult and time consuming.and usually doesn’t last.

Can she rather say avoid white flour and sugar?
Focus on healthy snacks?
Exercise?
Give her ideas for healthy breakfast options…etc…

Eta maybe no eating after 7:00…

↑ PrairieFairy ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 8:47 pm

doodlesmom wrote:

Personally, avoiding white flour and sugar is more disordered for a 10th grader (without context). It labels food as "bad" and creates fear foods. It also doesn't create a deficit in calories. All food has calories. Calories are important just not in a vacuum.

I'd suggest more moderation. Explaining portion sizes. Etc. Not just calories counting but understanding how to read food labels so it's a fuller picture and the calories are negligible to count but are considered in portion sizing.

Sometimes it's just mindlessness. Practicing mindful eating. Pausing before. Sitting down to eat. Eating slower and checking in if hungry or full.

A balanced food plan (that the mother can easily get) that is the right "calories" is easier for a teen. They can more easily swap (a slice of bread is equivalent to 1/2c oatmeal etc). But the food plan is a reference for food groups, timings, and amounts.

Just my perspective.

tichellady ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:02 pm

You are the parent. It sounds like she may be developing an eating disorder. This is very dangerous. This is not something you casually post on imamother about. Get professional help

amother

↑ Maroon

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:10 pm

tichellady wrote:

You are the parent. It sounds like she may be developing an eating disorder. This is very dangerous. This is not something you casually post on imamother about. Get professional help

Well, she’s overweight and wants to do something about it . Let’s give her credit for that. The thing is, we just don’t want her to go to an extreme where she’s starving herself. There’s a happy medium. Calorie counting is extreme.
She will lose weight if she-

1- stops eating junk food
2- starts drinking lots of water
3- goes walking or does some other form of exercise 3x a week

In a few months she will be 20-30 pounds thinner IyH

amother

Ginger

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:10 pm

A diet may yield results but most typical diets aren’t sustainable and she’ll gain it all back. It’s lifestyle changes. Buy healthy food/snacks for her, make sure suppers and healthy and wholesome. Go walking with her in the evenings after the other kids are in bed to get her moving.
I have struggled with an eating disorder and I’ve dieted for years. The thing that worked the best but letting go of all control and just eating well and paying attention to how my body feels when I eat certain foods.

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:14 pm

I can't believe how much everyone is gaslighting OP.

OP, I am sure you know your daughter and have spoken with her. We are not experts and don't know how many calories is right for her.

Can you make a private consultation with a nutritionist just for you to get advice about your question?

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