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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:20 pm
If you don’t have a babysitter and have no childcare options, please bring your children with you and go to hear megilla!!
Hearing megillah is your mitzvah and nobody should feel like they can’t go to megilla and will skip megilla just because they have kids.
I was at a megilla reading this morning and there was a toddler crying on the mens side for a few seconds. I was surprised but Guess what I could still hear every word and I’m sure the father had a good reason for bringing a small child with him. There were lots of kids on the women’s side who were perfectly quiet.
Nobody should feel like they can’t hear megilla and would miss a mitzva because they are uncomfortable bringing kids to megilla.
Bring your kids and do your mitzvah!
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amother
Molasses
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:23 pm
I agree. I don’t understand the whole nine page thread. In my shul there are tons of kids. If a baby is screaming the mom will take him outside but for the most part it’s fine and everyone can hear the megillah.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:30 pm
I’ve been to readings where kids are too loud and I missed hearing words
It may be your mitzvah but it’s everyone elses also, and it’s selfish for everyone else to miss out because you come with kids
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:36 pm
Exactly! In almost every case you can still hear the words even if it’s slightly annoying.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:36 pm
amother Molasses wrote: | I agree. I don’t understand the whole nine page thread. In my shul there are tons of kids. If a baby is screaming the mom will take him outside but for the most part it’s fine and everyone can hear the megillah. |
I was in a shul last night and the mom did not take her loud toddler out of the shul.
In fact, I think her shushing him was even louder than the kid.
I was totally not yotzei, thank you very much.
I left my young children at home so that no one else would have to relisten to megillah because they couldn't hear.
It's one of those things you have to just plan in advance. Make sure your husband can be home to watch your kids, or a neighbor or relative or babysitter. Everyone is in the same boat here.
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imasinger
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:50 pm
You're still yotzei even if a word or three get obscured. AYLOR.
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patzer
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:57 pm
imasinger wrote: | You're still yotzei even if a word or three get obscured. AYLOR. |
Many LORs would disagree.
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amother
Starflower
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 12:59 pm
My very yeshivish LOR says that if you miss a word or two to whisper them to yourself and continue.
It's more of an issue if you miss a pasuk
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chestnut
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:00 pm
amother White wrote: | I’ve been to readings where kids are too loud and I missed hearing words
It may be your mitzvah but it’s everyone elses also, and it’s selfish for everyone else to miss out because you come with kids |
What do you think Hashem's reaction to your missing some Megillah words because of a crying baby will be?
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:02 pm
amother White wrote: | I’ve been to readings where kids are too loud and I missed hearing words
It may be your mitzvah but it’s everyone elses also, and it’s selfish for everyone else to miss out because you come with kids |
Some people have no choice. No one misses out the Baal Koreh is always loud enough.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:05 pm
chestnut wrote: | What do you think Hashem's reaction to your missing some Megillah words because of a crying baby will be? |
I'm sure He'll consider you an oneiss, but it's still not the best thing to do and it's not right to be the reason someone becomes an oneiss.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:12 pm
amother Mayflower wrote: | I'm sure He'll consider you an oneiss, but it's still not the best thing to do and it's not right to be the reason someone becomes an oneiss. |
Everyone is required to put in their greatest effort. And for some it means bringing kids. You’ll be fine.
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patzer
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:25 pm
chestnut wrote: | What do you think Hashem's reaction to your missing some Megillah words because of a crying baby will be? |
What do you think Hashem's reaction will be when you bring your baby to megilla and cause others to not fulfill the mitzvah?
And no, not everyone is able to read fast enough to catch up.
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amother
Lilac
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:29 pm
amother White wrote: | I’ve been to readings where kids are too loud and I missed hearing words
It may be your mitzvah but it’s everyone elses also, and it’s selfish for everyone else to miss out because you come with kids |
Selfish? I really don't think women are bringing their kids because they think it's fun and just want to do it. Give the benefit of the doubt that they were stuck and not being selfish.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:31 pm
It's probably a halachic shayla, if you'll bring your kids who are likely to make noise and cause others to not be yotze, is it OK? What's the psak when it comes to 1 person vs possibly several others not being yotze? It's not so simple to just make a blanket statement like bring your kids if they are likely to disturb others, a rav should really be asked.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:32 pm
What do you think Hashem's reaction is if there is noise in the shul and the Baal Korei just continues leining as if nothing happened? It's a joint responsibility.
In a smaller leining it might be easier to hear even with some noise.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:33 pm
amother Lilac wrote: | Selfish? I really don't think women are bringing their kids because they think it's fun and just want to do it. Give the benefit of the doubt that they were stuck and not being selfish. |
Whether or not they were stuck or the reason they did it, thinking only of your own fulfillment of the mitzvah and ignoring everyone else’s, is by definition selfish. It doesn’t mean they are doing it for fun or on purpose, but they are only thinking of themselves
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:49 pm
amother Celeste wrote: | Some people have no choice. No one misses out the Baal Koreh is always loud enough. |
Not always. If ladies are upstairs all the way in the back. Or downstairs at the end of of the shul. You might not hear.
Interesting to see that the answers here are usually based on personal experience. There is so much generalization here. Not all communities have lots of shuls with lots of minyanim. Not all ladies have someone who can switch off. Not all children are noisy. In fact sometimes the adults are the culprits. Every rav paskens different for what is acceptable or not.
If you need to come with children, yes-do so - but please stay near the door (not all the way inside a packed shul- where you might not be able to get out even if you want to) and try to stay in a hallway- if there is one or leave if necessary.
It is not for us to make statements about what ribono shel olam will or won’t say.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:51 pm
amother Cantaloupe wrote: | It's probably a halachic shayla, if you'll bring your kids who are likely to make noise and cause others to not be yotze, is it OK? What's the psak when it comes to 1 person vs possibly several others not being yotze? It's not so simple to just make a blanket statement like bring your kids if they are likely to disturb others, a rav should really be asked. |
I wonder about this too. If one woman doesn't hear because she's home with her baby vs many women can't hear because one woman brought her baby.
Do the math.
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amother
Holly
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Sun, Mar 24 2024, 2:29 pm
I once went to a shul where there were tons of little kids and constant noise. The women's section was upstairs and it was nearly impossible to hear over all the ruckus. Please do not bring kids to shul. If you don't have a husband who can switch off with you, ask a neighbor to watch them.
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