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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Guests
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juggling
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Mon, May 08 2023, 10:37 am
Most weeks I don't make cholent. I sometimes serve a pareve cholent, then I consider it a main course for the vegetarians at the table. If I serve meat cholent, which I do rarely these days, I also serve schnitzel or chicken.
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amother
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Mon, May 08 2023, 10:45 am
amother OP wrote: | I shared the cholent egg story because it was esy beyond the scope of normal. I keep saying here, but I think people are ignoring me, this is happened to me only a handful of times. I’m in my 40s. That’s not a lot. A few times does not = “keep happening to me”.
And I’ll say it again, I am sharing this for all of the hostesses who are reading this in case it will help anybody if they need it. |
I don't know, the 40 year olds that I know that know their time and place are not making highly specific PSA's after leaving a meal hungry once or twice. Most have been around the shabbos hosting and being hosted scene many times over and learn to deal.
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amother
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Mon, May 08 2023, 11:02 am
amother Natural wrote: | I don't know, the 40 year olds that I know that know their time and place are not making highly specific PSA's after leaving a meal hungry once or twice. Most have been around the shabbos hosting and being hosted scene many times over and learn to deal. |
And therefore?
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amother
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Mon, May 08 2023, 11:07 am
People are having trouble taking your PSA and free advice at face value
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amother
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Mon, May 08 2023, 11:11 am
amother Natural wrote: | People are having trouble taking your PSA and free advice at face value |
How would you know that?
Who's "people?"
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amother
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Mon, May 08 2023, 11:11 am
amother Natural wrote: | People are having trouble taking your PSA and free advice at face value |
Then feel free to scroll by.
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cbsp
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Mon, May 08 2023, 11:22 am
amother Natural wrote: | I don't know, the 40 year olds that I know that know their time and place are not making highly specific PSA's after leaving a meal hungry once or twice. Most have been around the shabbos hosting and being hosted scene many times over and learn to deal. |
You would "just deal" after being asked by a host to bring a signature home made dessert that went straight in the freezer to be served to the following week's special guest? Interesting... (never mind that it most likely was not halachically proper to be carried that Shabbos...)
Although I might not have resorted to a PSA. I might have just answered my kids in a REALLY LOUD whisper as to why they're not going to having any of that dessert at the host's house as promised...
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amother
Tuberose
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Mon, May 08 2023, 6:30 pm
What other post as basics for when having guests, I make even more than that for a "regular" shabbos lunch! When have guest would add to even that. Inviting guests means you want to invite them to eat & you want to feed them! If unsure what they serving in advance - offer to make something that you know you / your family will eat. You could also always hover around the kitchen before then meal, or when washing, take a look round, offer to help set it up etc.
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amother
Sand
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Tue, May 09 2023, 1:09 am
It’s interesting to note that some of you serve practically nothing but then you hasten to assure us that when you have guests then tons of extra dishes get rolled up. Doesn’t your family come before guests?
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amother
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Tue, May 09 2023, 2:38 am
amother Sand wrote: | It’s interesting to note that some of you serve practically nothing but then you hasten to assure us that when you have guests then tons of extra dishes get rolled up. Doesn’t your family come before guests? |
My kids will just eat chumus and/or challah and/or cold Fri night leftovers no matter what I serve so I stopped making extra food for them, and my husband and I are happy with 1 main and a salad.
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amother
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Tue, May 09 2023, 3:28 am
I don't relate to people whose kids don't eat. Mine always eat like an army. If I served only one thing, they'd be sure we went bankrupt.
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amother
Sunflower
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Tue, May 09 2023, 4:06 am
amother OP wrote: | I posted this story under my username before so someone may remember me but it’s too weird of a story so I’ll tell it.
Once we were guests at a family for shabbos lunch who my husband was close to their husband, but I did not know the wife very well, and we had been guests there once or twice before and everything was great (and we had hosted them as well). I am known for a particular baked good, so when I asked what can I bring she asked me to bring that particular dessert. I walked in and handed it to her, and she exclaimed, “great! I’m having important guests next shabbos, this will help!” And she put it in her freezer.
She proceeded to tell me that since the shul had a kiddush that week, she made a very simple meal. Fine. Well since my family was going to be guests, I told my kids not to fill up because it’s rude to stuff yourself at kiddush when people cooked for you. I wish she had told me in advance that it would be a very simple meal. But to her simple meant small. Also fine! But tell the guests your plan and don’t assume everyone will consider kiddish to = lunch, especially if you are going to lunch after!
She served challah and cholent eggs. No cholent. Literally challah, eggs, done. Maybe something happened to the rest of the cholent and it was not able to be served. |
So we had a gala kiddush at our shul and a lunch invitation. Brilliantly, our hostess called me the week before and suggested that we made an agreement: that the kiddush would be the first course, and she would cook mains and dessert! We were so grateful that we could fully enjoy everything that Shabbat, and knew exactly what to expect!
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Raisin
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Tue, May 09 2023, 5:09 am
amother Sand wrote: | It’s interesting to note that some of you serve practically nothing but then you hasten to assure us that when you have guests then tons of extra dishes get rolled up. Doesn’t your family come before guests? |
I know what my family eats and what they don't. Guests might be allergic, on special diets, be vegetarians, or just expect more food.
I agree a normal meal is appetiser followed by main but I think a lot of us have adopted the mezze course from sefardic influences. My family happens to love it and I also find it perfect for shabbos lunch since we don't heat up any food except challah or bread.
Since our shul has a big kiddush every week I also often just do a one course mezze style meal.
During covid when we had no guests we often did milchig shabbos lunch which my family loved.
OP that challah and eggs hostess is just weird.
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