If you serve only challah, dips, and cholent for lunch

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amother

↑ Caramel

Sun, May 07 2023, 7:04 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

If you can't eat regular challah, for sure that's something you should tell a host. And cholent is a normal main for Shabbos. If youre happy not washing and only eating sides then don't mention it. But also don't be upset if those things are served to you.

Agree. If you came to my house I’d make you whatever you asked for. And if I asked you if you needed/wanted/preferred special food etc and you didn’t tell me I’d feel bad.

imaamy ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 8:12 pm

Contentious isn’t the word you’re looking for. That means more of an argument. “Conscientious” is the word you meant.

rainbow dash

Sun, May 07 2023, 8:15 pm

For shabbos lunch, we have salmon cooked, Gefillta fish if dh buys some, smoked salmon, challah, tomato dip, eggplant dip if I buy the eggplants and Hummus and Mayonnaise.
Then we have Cholent together with kiska, leftover kugel, 1 salad and eggs and liver if we buy liver. And sometimes deli meats

That's it. Every week.

Lately, everyone is full from the first course, so I think I'll cut back.

Now my problem is that shabbos come in at 830, and by the time we eat, it's too late. This week no one ate the main food. Just fish and chicken soup. I'm thinking of skipping the soup and after the fish, dips and challah going straight to the chicken and kugel.

↑ imaamy

Sun, May 07 2023, 8:25 pm

[quote="amother Cornsilk"]I can empathize with the OP. I once had a similar meal in college when friends brought me along to a Chabad house for Shabbos lunch. I was grateful for the meal but no one warned me how it was going to be. So they put out a lot of dips and I had some, but I didn't fill up because I was waiting for the real food to come out. I wasn't expecting anything fancy either - just a piece of chicken, kugel, and some kind of vegetable. So I was greatly surprised when all they brought out were small individual bowls of cholent and that was it. Only then did I realize that I was supposed to fill up on the dips, but it was too late because everything had been cleared away. I went back to my dorm room hungry and I didn't really have anything else to eat. It wouldn't have been a problem if someone had warned me what to expect. I had never been to such a meal before.[/quot

Every time I’ve been to a Chabad event there is SO much food! We filled up when dishes were still being brought out cause we couldn’t imagine there was more. Left before dessert.

amother

↑ Amber ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 8:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

Well, I did not think I needed to spell it out... I wrote in my OP it was a ; small pot of cholent for a table full of people; this means each person gets a bit. Unless one is so rude as to see a small pot and take more than their fair share, leaving others with even less.

I see. The issue was the quantity more than anything. In my circles most people serve plated portions in quantities you would expect to have leftovers. Of course it's socially off to not have sufficient quantities of food, the variety is a lesser issue.

amother

Eggshell

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:54 pm

Shabbos seudah is a lunch meal. Do any of you feel 2-4 slices of bread (starch) plus chumus (protein) is a sufficient lunch for during the week? Do you pack for your kids' school lunch more then that? Yes, vegetables are an important part of a meal and daily food consumption, and so I would add one vegetable salad or some kind of vegetable even baby carrots to the above meal and find it balanced. Are there plenty of choices in the OP's meal, no, but if there was enough challah and chumus, and ideally one form of vegetable, it was sufficient to be called a balanced meal even if there wasn't much variety.

I think, since it is Shabbos, most of us go way over the top in how many choices of each of the 3 food groups we serve and it is way more then we would for a weekday meal. Shabbos food should be nicer and more special, but it needs to be able to be prepared without leaving the mother feeling stressed and affecting the home atmosphere as a result from way more then usual in terms of variety. If it leaves her dreading inviting guest because she has to go all out, that isn't good either. Also, many times as a result of the increase of variety being prepared it encourages people to over eat beyond their normal meal size. That's not a healthy habit either.

If the meal that the op was talking about was a weekday meal, do you think the host needs more then 1 starch, 1 protein, and 1 vegetable?

For reference I don't eat fish chicken, or meat, but I prepare the above for my family. I have been to seudahs, simchas, and events and make due with whatever is served knowing that I may walk away from the table with only challah, possibly a protein dip, and hopefully a form of vegetables. Sometimes there isn't that and the dips and salads are all starch and mayonnaise based. I don't eat mayonnaise at home for health. I have 2 options, wait till I get home and find something to eat, or eat starchy mayonnaise foods which make my stomach turn and don't leave me satisfied even after eating a regular portion size. I never turned down an invitation due to that. I just go with the expectation that I may not have a balanced meal and may eat foods that I normally prefer to avoid. I have learned that when being invited out always have food that I can eat, even if it is sliced whole wheat bread with avocado and cheese, waiting for me when I get home. Cheerios, almonds and apple work too.

Bottom line is, when going somewhere as a guest for a meal enjoy the company and have a backup plan for simple food that doesn't need preparing that you anyways have at home. Maybe you have leftover fish and kugel from the night before and a fresh or cooked vegetable. That way you enjoy being with friends and can have food, even a simple balanced meal later too, without much effort. Win win!

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Sun, May 07 2023, 11:55 pm

amother Junglegreen wrote:

Challa - refunded white flour - my blood sugar would spike
Cholent gives me stomach ache - it's been hot for hours
Didn't realize I had such SPECIAL dietary requirements!! Wouldn't have dreamt of telling a host in advance !

Yes, if you can't eat two of the main foods being served, please alert your host in advance. Not because you're SPECIAL, but because she prefers to provide food that you'll eat. Why not give her a chance to provide wholewheat challah and other alternatives?

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Mon, May 08 2023, 12:03 am

Better yet is to actually tell your host that you're bringing your own challah for yourself since you can't eat white flour.

It's not nice to turn up and just not eat and this also takes the burden off the host to provide special challah just for you.

amother

Powderblue ↓

Mon, May 08 2023, 12:07 am

LovesHashem wrote:

Its one pot but it's the same taste. It's like making chicken in the rice. I would have chicken and rice seperate plus a veggie dish.

IMHO cholent looks and smells like throw up. It's a one pot meal that's cooked for so long it's looks like a huge mush and it's all disintegrated and gross. Even if I liked one part like chicken or potatoes usually by shabbos day it's all one mush to the point you can't even pick something out like that (unless it's a huge chunk of meat)

My chulent looks and smells amazing. One of my favorite things is waking up Shabbos morning and smelling the chulent as soon as leave my bedroom one floor above the kitchen.
It is absolutely not a huge mush or disintegrating. Perhaps you can get some tips on how to make chulent the right away so that you can enjoy it.
My chulent is also very filling. I have lots of meat and chicken and potatoes and beans and barley. Everything is recognizable even though it is all together. My whole family loves it and loves the leftovers even more. I purposely make more than we can eat so that we have leftovers.

amother

↑ Powderblue ↓

Mon, May 08 2023, 12:09 am

amother Peony wrote:

It's extremely annoying to have guests who don't tell you their preferences in advance. We once had a man who was on the Atkins diet and he couldnt eat the sides I had prepared.

amother

↑ Powderblue ↓

Mon, May 08 2023, 12:11 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Wow, your opinion is, in my opinion, just a it extreme.
If you dont like it, dont eat it. So mwny men and women LOVE chulent.
So many look forward to shabbat day chulent.
And again, maybe your chulent is gross. My mother's chulrnt was never so mushed that you couldnt find delicious pirces of potato and chicken in it.
Its also just a bit childish the way you were describing food.

"a bit"? sounds entitled to me.

amother

↑ Powderblue

Mon, May 08 2023, 12:12 am

amother Jean wrote:

Because it's just not a delicate, ladylike food.

It's ridiculous but whenever discussing things like menus for kiddush etc I'm always hearing this attitude that women only like fruit, salads and maybe some miniatures so no cholent, kugel or herring for them.

Please tell me where you live.

↑ gold2

Mon, May 08 2023, 2:16 am

I was wondering the same. When did I say I invited my family? I did not.

I'm thinking there are some people on this thread who are offended because this is what they do when they have guests and it's hard to see someone try to nicely communicate on this forum that challah, mayo based dip, and a scoop of cholent is not a meal.

I can't be the only one here who was taught not to fill up on challah? Am I?

I was also taught this. However I am from England and I think it's the norm in certain communities especially in Israel or Middle eastern places which has now spilled over to many Jewish and even Ashkenazi communities worldwide that a lot of dips and salatim are served at the beginning of the meal.

This was traditionally done because people were poor and they couldn't afford to serve so much meat/chicken and fish to their guests so they filled them up on a lot of challah and dips which is much cheaper!

Now when I go to people I do keep this in mind. You can't fight the world and while to me it's more normal to serve regular food it's become more of a course as well

amother

NeonGreen

Mon, May 08 2023, 4:00 am

I hate cholent and never make it. When I have guests, I tell them I don’t make cholent. Most have been shocked lol. How can I not have such a traditional Shabbos meal?! LOL

I do have a variety of other choices, though. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been a guest and Shabbos lunch is only challah and cholent.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Mon, May 08 2023, 4:13 am

amother Slategray wrote:

Can you clarify what the issue with choulent is?

I replied to Lovehashem
I prepare and eat Cholent every Shabbos Smile

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Mon, May 08 2023, 4:22 am

Cheiny wrote:

Don’t you put it up before Shabbos and leave it cooking?

I didn't express myself properly, apologies.
I certainly put up the Cholent before Shabbos and it stays on the hotplate until I serve it.
I wanted to know how to heat up rice potatoes broccoli and carrots on Shabbes in a permissible way.

amother

Amaryllis

Mon, May 08 2023, 4:26 am

I didn't read through the whole thread, although I personally agree with the OP. Then again, I'm Hungarian and would never imagine serving less than four courses and tons of options Smile

But this reminds me of the time as newlyweds we were invited to a community Rav's house, and the main was basically cholent, but the Rebbetzin put it next to the Rav where it stayed the whole meal LOL

We came home pretty hungry!

DrMom ↓

Mon, May 08 2023, 6:39 am

LovesHashem wrote:

IMHO cholent looks and smells like throw up. It's a one pot meal that's cooked for so long it's looks like a huge mush and it's all disintegrated and gross. Even if I liked one part like chicken or potatoes usually by shabbos day it's all one mush to the point you can't even pick something out like that (unless it's a huge chunk of meat)

ITA.

It can taste okay, but I think it looks very unappetizing.

That being said, I don't agree with the OP, esp if you and your guests are from a community where cholent usually serves as your Shabbat main course.

Personally, I like more vegetables in my meal, so I would not enjoy such a spread, but I realize not everybody is like me.

champion

Mon, May 08 2023, 6:40 am

PSA to op,
Next time you are being hosted ask the hostess if you can bring something with and bring a dish that you know you like. viola. Problem solved. your welcome.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, May 08 2023, 7:39 am

champion wrote:

PSA to op,
Next time you are being hosted ask the hostess if you can bring something with and bring a dish that you know you like. viola. Problem solved. your welcome.

Yes, I asked what I could bring and brought the wine she requested. I don’t know them (or the other people of this is happened which I’ve been just a few like I said before) to know to bring a dish.

Like I said, before, a few times, this post is meant to help hostesses. I know I’m far from the only person to have been in a situation like this.

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