my son wont go | Imamother

PinkandYellow ↓

Mon, Jun 23 2008, 6:08 am

I took off his diaper this morn and stripped him down and kept him home with me. its now one ock and he still hasn't even once pished int he toilet. hes almost 3 and needs to be trained by the ned of th esummer. I'm not showing him my frustrations but I'm getting fed up. and he wants the taffy he'll get for pishing on the toilet but he just won't! I'm relly getting frustrated. pls help me.

cubbie

Mon, Jun 23 2008, 6:53 am

My dd was almost 3 when I finally got her trained, I'd been battling with toilet training for months and she is really strong willed so she would just hold in for about 6 hours and then start crying hysterically that her tummy hurt and I would feel bad for her and give her a diaper. No rewards or sticker charts worked. Well one day I decided that my feeling bad for her was the problem. So I took her out of gan for a week and took away all diapers. The first day she held in until until about 1pm then started to cry hysterically and I just ignored the crying and told her that we don't have any diapers after about one hour of crying, screaming and kicking she made on the floor, and I washed her and gave her new clothes and said, nevermind next time you'll do it in the toilet, she must have made about 7 times on the floor before she got a diaper for the night. The next day she wasn't holding in anymore but still wouldn't go on the toilet. Then on the third day I got strict with her, I told her in the morning that for 2 days she's been making on the floor and I've been cleaning it up without a fuss, now she has to help me by sitting on the toilet when I tell her to. So I made her sit every 15 mins for 5 mins it was hard work and everything else was put in hold. but I was strong with her and after the first few times she didn't complain about sitting, we read stories, played games and I taught her to count 5 minutes on my watch, but she wouldn't make, then at about 1pm she refused to come with me so I knew she couldn't hold in any more, so I physically held her on and hugged her, she was crying and screaming and kicking me and trying to come off, begging me to let me make on the floor, but I just held her on until she couldn't hold it in any more and made in the toilet. She was furious with herself for losing control and didn't want a candy or sticker. Then after about 20 mins I saw her starting to wriggle again, so I took her back to the toilet, she was crying but didnt resist, as she had lost her fighting spirit and she made straight away on the toilet. And that was that about an hour later, she just stood up and went to the toilet and the next morning went by herself to poop.

↑ PinkandYellow

Mon, Jun 23 2008, 7:16 am

well my son isn't strong willed or a/t like that. he has no problem sitting on the toilet. but just won't make there. he sometimes indicates he needs to pish but I don't usually realize till after that thats what it was. I know that if he's ready it should take real short time but what if he isn't ready by the end of the summer? its only about 2 mths to go? also, he def doesn't communicate properly so I can almost never know that he has to make until after. and he doesn't seem to be able to control it. I'm just frustrated. Mad

Mama Bear ↓

Mon, Jun 23 2008, 3:05 pm

Honey, it's day 1!!! It took me about six weeks (after a 10 week stint and then putting the potties away) to call my son "80% trained". it's very frustrating but you cant expect it to happen in one day.

just put him on the potty every hour for 5-10 minutes, play with him then or show him a video then, after a while he'll lose his stubbornness and just let it go. give him drinks too. and give him treats when he goes.

↑ Mama Bear

Mon, Jun 23 2008, 6:53 pm

PinkandYellow wrote:

Take a deep breath. You are goign through exactly what I went through with my son since pesach. it took him about a WEEK to come and tell me WHILE HE WAS ALREADY WETTING that he needed the bathroom. IT TAKES TIME. just continue encouraging him to keep dry. tell him every 10 -15 minutes, "____ is a big boy, he is already going on the toilet, he will tell mommy when he needs to go on the toiilet." and check every 15 imnutes, if he's dry, give him a small treat. IT TAKES TIME. it's incredibly frustrating - if you would read my blog entries about toilet trianing, I nearly lost my mind, esp because I had this HUGE deadline of having to get him into cheder by r'c sivan. I said perek shira for 40 days, I took ds to a chiropractor to help him with focus and concentration,a dn BH, by rosh chodesh sivan, after six long endless weeks, he was trained enough to start cheder. he is still far from accident-free adn he still comes home wet from cheder almost every day, but he is more-or-less trained -AND IT TOOK SIX WEEKS. please give your son AT LEAST a week to 'learn' the signs of bladder control. this is brand new to him. keep him within close sight, and the minute you see his signs of starting to wet (looking down, spraeding legs, etc), sit him on the potty and tell him "____ is going to finish making in the potty, he is such a big boy." Positive, positive reinforcement, encouragement, etc., goes a long way. I feel for you, I went through the same frustration just recently myself.

yersp

Tue, Jun 24 2008, 1:14 am

Try to promise something that your child wants so she has what to look forward to and will want to go to the bathroom. DS absolutely refused to go to the bathroom or sit on the potty. However, he kept on repeating he wants to go to cheder on a bus, I kept on repeating if you'll go to the bathroom you can go to cheder on a bus. This was going on every day for the past few months. I felt like a tape recorder repeating the same sentence too many times a day. One day I had to take DD to the corner to make her bus and DS got upset that he can't go on the bus like his sister. I just repeated the same thing he kept on hearing for the past few months: If you'll go to the bathroom you can go to cheder on a bus. Low and behold he wanted to go to the bathroom and B"H B"H poy poy poy we've been successful (so far!) He's had a few accidents and I realized most of the accidents were to test me. He's I"YH starting cheder now in the summer!
Good Luck! It's frustrating but you'll get there I"YH!

Ima2

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 3:28 pm

I have the same issue with my dd. She just turned 3 and she is soooo aware and able to tell me when she needs to make. But she won't sit on the potty! She is so stubborn and strong willed and every time she says she has to make we rush to the bathroom and then she starts screaming and crying that she doesn't have to make. This goes on 2 or 3 more times until I say, ok Temima, you need to make! And I make her stay in the bathroom until she goes b/c she can't hold it in anymore. And when she does make, she will only make on the floor or in a basin (not a sink!) on the floor. It's gross! I can't take it anymore, but my DH says that dd has already made some real advances so lets continue. I think we should leave her alone and try later....what do you guys think?

Meema2Kids

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 3:34 pm

I've found that some kids don't realize what the sensation of making really is. At the beginning of potty training, I have done this: Take the kid out of bed right before they wake up in the morning, take off diaper and sit them on the toilet. It might be easier for them to make then because they do it at that time anyway. Then, they have success, they get a reward, they figure out how it feels on the toilet.