My girls don't want to go to camp

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 7:58 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes and Yes. Luckily, she takes everything in stride.

In what way are they mean or fo they make fun? Could it be it’s really just a conversation and you are reading more into it? Good for her that she doesn’t care. Now YOU need to not care as well. She doesn’t want to go, so that should be it. I also don’t agree with the other poster who said that you should make your other daughter go. If she doesn’t want to, leave her alone. I’m sure she will be able to find something else to do. Don’t send her to camp just because “mommy needs a break.” That’s not fair to her.

Highstrung ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 7:58 am

amother OP wrote:

Both!
They're going to have a great summer and I will still be sad that they didn't go to camp.

Our children are not us. I loved camp. My sister hated camp. My kids don’t want to go to camp, and when they decide to try it usually don’t want to go back the next summer. My sisters kids love love love camp.
We are not our children. We do what makes them happy. If they are happy working in the city in day camp, kol hakavod! You saved yourself some money. Who cares whether people ask why they aren’t in camp? We do what’s best for our children. We don’t make them do the things WE like. We don’t make them do things so people don’t ask questions.

imacoolmom

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 7:59 am

Not chassidish but that’s exactly what I have. My 15 year old when twice to camp and said she’s not interested anymore. The in thing among her group is to stay in town and work in local day camps. First of all I don’t think she has a clue how hard that will be running after little kids all day in the hot summer but I guess she’ll see for herself. Dh is thrilled bec saves us $2500, but I’ll admit it’s healthy for her to get away and for us to have some time apart and for her to have time away from her younger siblings as they fight like cats and dogs. We don’t feel the need to go on a big trip like to Florida though

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 8:02 am

amother Papaya wrote:

I believe your younger one should go. Even if not this summer, then next.

She can’t refuse to go if she’s never tried it.
Moms need a break too.

They’ll go and they’ll love it.
Our girls don’t go to seminary and need to learn a little bit of independence.

Of course she can. Do you have things that you never want to try, because it’s just not your thing? Camp is not a necessary step to getting into he next grade or the next stage in life. Thousands of girls (and boys) never went to sleep away camp, and never will, and guess what? They advanced to the next grade. They got married, and if they didn’t, I doubt it’s because they didn’t go to sleep away camp. Let your daughters be themselves. Being an individual is a good thing.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 8:05 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

I had no idea this post would cause such strong reactions.

Seriously, I'm just disappointed that they don't want to try camp. I believe it's very healthy for them to be in sleep away camp and gain some independence skills.
That's all.

I'm not forcing them to go, I'm not trying to make them a carbon copy of me. Everyone just chill out.

There's nothing wrong w my kvetching about it on imamother.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 8:09 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m sorry if my comments are coming across strongly, that’s not how I meant them to be at all. Of course you can kvetch about it. I think it was your choice of words in your original post that got some people riled up.

amother

↑ Apricot

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 8:13 am

amother OP wrote:

Ok, what you're saying now is a bit different than what you said before, that your kids should go to camp because you loved camp and others will think they're weird if they don't go.
You can't live for others. You have to do what makes your kids happy.

amother

Seablue ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 8:24 am

Same thing- 2 girls and as of now they don’t have summer plans.
Older dd went to camp the last 2 summers. This year she absolutely refuses even though I know she had a good time and has very good memories.
Younger dd applied for 1st half but didn’t get in. There’s a local teen camp that she went to last summer. She had the greatest time ever but she’s refusing to apply because all her friends are going to sleep away camp…
So now I have 2 teen girls without summer plans. They are asking if we can go on some major family trip for a few weeks. That sounds like a great plan but it means that every day they will ask me to take them places and I’ll keep hearing about it if they’re bored. Honestly, a family trip is nice for a few days but they need friends! I don’t want to have to entertain big kids with big expectations for a few weeks.

Elfrida ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 8:31 am

Working in a day camp will also give e them some skills that they wouldn't gain going to camp, so they may benefit in other directions.

Whatever you would have spent on camp, you've now saved. That might not be enough to take everyone to Florida, but might be enough to go somewhere closer for a few days, just to have a break and get out of town fir a while. Maybe you could look into that to give a focus to the summer, so that it's not just work.

BrisketBoss

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 8:39 am

amother Papaya wrote:

Yeah, I've been persuaded into doing things for the experience and regretted it. And camp lasts a long time.

Whenever I did a camp or summer program, there were things I liked and things I didn't, and ultimately I didn't want to go back. My mother respected this.

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:40 am

OP, I am actually having a similar experience right now. My daughter also has no interest in camp, and since I loved camp and made lifelong friends, and it was the highlight of my year, I feel like she can come to regret the decision. My daughter isn't even 12 yet but we live OOT and most if not all of her friends went last year already, some even went the year before, as is common with out of towner's. I feel sad for her that she is missing out on a special experience. I feel like she can be pushed, but if I'm honest with myself, and think about my daughter and her specific needs and personality, I can actually imagine her NOT liking camp, the way she predicts to me. She's an introvert, not so outgoing (although BH she is socially ok in school with her few close friends ), and she is easily grossed out. She is also a very picky eater, gets nauseous easily etc. I just cannot picture her standing on the benches in the dining room, cheering and screaming loudly. It's just so not her type. (Also what if she gets her period in camp!!!)
I still think it's healthy for my daughter to experience being away from home, meet new friends from other places, and there isn't much for her age to do in our hometown, especially since all her friends are leaving. So I dont feel so good about her not going. The concern about camp in the future is that if she ever does decide to go, she'll be third wheeling to the girls that have been there for multiple years, already have their friends etc.
However, I don't want to be the parent that forces camp on her kids, and assume she'll be happy when she might not. So I am going to go with what she wants and try not to think too much into it. (and enjoy saving thousands of dollars)
IMYH it should be a good summer for her, for your girls, and everyone.

amother

↑ Seablue

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:51 am

amother Royalblue wrote:

I totally get you but all the reasons you wrote to justify why camp isn’t for her are exactly the right reasons why she probably SHOULD go to camp. She will quickly figure out the food situation and won’t have too many people to complain to about being nauseous etc
All girls get their period in camp.. it’s life and growing up. She won’t be the only one.. you would send her well prepared.
I definitely wouldn’t pressure a 12 year old to go. Perhaps next year you can strongly encourage.

↑ Ema of 5

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 12:28 pm

amother Seablue wrote:

No one HAS to go to camp though. Kids these days have enough pressure in so many other non negotiable areas, why push them to do something they don’t need to?