My girls don't want to go to camp

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 9:47 am

I'm devastated. I was the kid who lived breathed and devoured every minute of camp.
My DD that's 14 went to camp for one half in '21. As I expected, she came home on a high and loved it. For some reason, once the school year started she decided she didn't like camp after all. Funny how teens change their mind so fast.
Fast fwd to last summer when she didn't get accepted to her 1st choice. She refused to even consider any other camp. Her friends didn't either get accepted to that camp but they all somehow found their way to a different camp. Not my DD. She was not interested and she actually worked as a counselor in a daycamp in the city w a good friend. She had a blast. We compensated and took the whole family to Florida for 2nd half. Best summer of their lives!

This year she informed me that she is completely uninterested in applying to any camp. She wants a repeat of last summer. Problem is - it's really expensive. And my younger ones are perfectly happy with the city day camps here.

Also, my next DD just turned 13 and she decided she also doesn't want to go to camp.
What is this new trend?
Both my girls said 50% of the girls that went to camp last year are not going back this year.
The girls decided camp is nebby and overrated.

Anyone else have this? For the record were chasidish, if that makes a difference.

I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas either how to convince them to go to camp or what to do second half in the city?

amother

Apricot ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 9:51 am

If they don't want to go to camp, they can find a job or something else to keep busy with. Camp is not a must. But why do you feel the need to compensate for a choice they're making? You're setting them up for high expectations, and they'll never want to go to camp or take a summer job in the future.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:09 am

amother Apricot wrote:

Like I said, she did take a summer job and she wants to do it again. Last summer I felt awful for her that she wasn't accepted and decided to take the whole family to Florida as a way of boosting her self esteem. I didn't want the rejection to hurt her too badly. (Yes I know, resilience after rejection is an impt skill for her to learn in life, and quite frankly I beleive shes had plenty of rejection so far)

This year I've made it clear we're not going to Florida or anywhere exciting, yet she still doesnt want to go to camp.

I'm sure she'll have fun again as a counselor, I'm just finding it so hard to come to terms with it though.
Like, aren't girls supposed to look forward to go to camp? Maybe something is wrong w me for taking it so personal.

amother

↑ Apricot ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:21 am

amother OP wrote:

It seems like you were more hurt and bothered then her that she wasn't accepted to camp. It seems like the rejection was harder for you, which is why you felt the need to over-compensate. Kids take cues pf our reactions to situations. If it doesn't bother them, it shouldn't bother you either.
It's ok, girls don't must go to camp or don't have to want to go to camp. Many girls don't go to camp. They're fine taking a full summer job in a local daycamp, it can really be a lot of fun. Some daycamps are more fun than others, so maybe they can start applying now for summer jobs at specific camps.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:31 am

Yes you're all correct that it bothers me more then her. Obviously being how much I myself loved camp, I sincerely thought my kids would too.
It's disappointing that they don't even want to give it a shot at this point. Especially my 2nd DD. She never even tried it to begin with.
I know they'll be happy, that was not my insinuation at all.
Also, for those saying camp is not a must, I know for a fact that it's looked upon as something is weird or off if someone don't go ever. Even if there's a perfectly valid reason.
In my circles, that's just the way it is perceived, like it or not.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:37 am

amother OP wrote:

I don’t know where you live, but it’s absolutely hot like that in most of the world. Did anything happen last summer because they didn’t go to camp? Did anyone make comments to them or do anything? What is your concern if they don’t go?

amother

↑ Apricot ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:40 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm also chassidish, and it's become way more common for girls to not want to go to camp. It's not looked at as weird.
I think you should take your feelings out of this and allow your girls to do what they want to do.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:47 am

amother Apricot wrote:

Interesting, she actually did get comments about last summer asking why she didn't go to camp, and luckily she was able to say she went on a family trip to Florida instead.
I've witnessed one such a conversation myself.
Hopefully, since she said many girls that went last year aren't going back, I'm going to assume it will not be as awkward if she gets asked again this time around.

I guess it is becoming a shtick not to go to camp.

Eta : I'm totally allowing them to do what they want to do. Not sure why you're assuming otherwise.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:52 am

amother OP wrote:

But what happens after the question is asked and she says she didn’t go? Do they look down on her? Make fun of her?

amother

Papaya

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:53 am

I believe your younger one should go. Even if not this summer, then next.

She can’t refuse to go if she’s never tried it.
Moms need a break too.

They’ll go and they’ll love it.
Our girls don’t go to seminary and need to learn a little bit of independence.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:54 am

Omg OP seriously you need to grow up. Your kids don't have to like everything you did, and live a carbon copy of your life. Would you be "devastated" if you like chocolate ice cream and they don't? So why is camp different?
And newsflash not everyone enjoys camp. And that's ok. I went for one month because it was better than staying in the city a whole summer. But I didn't love it. And I would have no problem if my daughters don't want to go and prefer to stay home and work in day camps.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:55 am

amother Papaya wrote:

I know. I so wish she would give it a shot. For the record, I have already applied to camp for her. I just know she won't go anyway, since she already made up her mind. Also she adores her older sister and if her sister thinks camp isn't cool, so does she.
So it's basically a bracha levatalah....

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jan 10 2023, 10:57 am

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Maybe you can just skip over this thread if it's triggering you so badly.