I used to be OTD and I have questions

noodle123

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 2:51 pm

I grew up very chareidi and a few years ago I went off the derech. I stopped keeping a lot of things including shabbos, and I didn’t fast on Yom Kippur and went on my smartphone. I was told that people who have broken shabbos and Yom Kippur don’t get a portion in olam habah, does that apply to me? I don’t know how much I regret what I did, because it was out of necessity due to personal issues at the time, and I think I would do it again if I was at the same place that I was. Do I still receive a portion in olam habah? Or is that revoked for me now. I am back on the derech and I am keeping everything now but I am still wondering, so if anyone knows could you please give me an answer?

Ema of 5

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 2:56 pm

noodle123 wrote:

A Jew can ALWAYS do teshuva, up until the second of their death. I think understand that you did something wrong, and why, and changing your behavior can earn you olam haba. I never heard about it being taken away, but I don’t think that’s really an issue any of us can or should help you to resolve. I think now you should just do the best, and be the best, that you can. Gaining and losing olam haba, to me, seems to be a thing that is fluid. It’s not all or nothing. It’s not like once it’s gone it’s gone. I think there’s always a way to earn back what was lost and to gain more.

crystal

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 3:10 pm

Teshuva is a gift from Hashem, and it's not as hard as the yetzer hara has us believe. If your regret is real and you have no intention of going back to the old ways I would say, based on what I've learned, that you don't need to worry about your Olam Haba. Also, I don't know the Hebrew text but I know it says that "in the place of a baal teshuva even a tzaddik cannot stand".

chay

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 5:36 pm

Hashem loves you forever and always.
You have a huge portion of olam haba.
Those who do teshuva have a greater bond. I remember learning.. imagine a rope was cut and then tied back together. That knot, the knot of teshuva is strong and everlasting.

Not_in_my_town

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 6:27 pm

OP, You're awesome for working through your issues and coming back.
You are giving Hashem such a gift by choosing to serve Him. That's amazing.

Very few people DAVKA do something intentionally to spite Hashem when they have a lack of pain and clear thinking; it's only a ruach shtus that causes a person to sin. That's not the real you. The real you is chelek Elokai mimaal -- a pure and perfect piece of Hashem Himself. You have a holy soul, and even when you were sinning, that holy soul was crying out, "Don't! You don't really want to do this." But because of the pain and confusion that comes with living in this world, you did something against your inner ratzon. And now you've tuned back in to yourself. What's not to love about that? You're amazing!

When we do teshuvah, all of the averos retroactively become mitzvos. So while, no, you weren't a tzadik when you sinned, you've actually compiled a whole lot of mitzvos by doing teshuva and continually rejecting the previous sins. You literally changed your past in a ruchniyus way. If s'char is your concern, then don't worry, I'm sure you have plenty.

But s'char isn't where it's at, what it's about. It's about forming a relationship with Hashem. Just keep working on that.

Thu, Aug 04 2022, 7:40 pm

noodle123 wrote:

You are gold.
Hashem do You hear Your child? She keeps Your Torah even though she has accepted that she may not be rewarded for it.
Is there another tzadeikes on this level in the entire world?

snooper86

Fri, Aug 05 2022, 1:31 pm

8x wrote:

You are gold.
Hashem do You hear Your child? She keeps Your Torah even though she has accepted that she may not be rewarded for it.
Is there another tzadeikes on this level in the entire world?

Wow very well said. Not sure why I’m getting emotional about this.

naturalmom5

Fri, Aug 05 2022, 1:36 pm

noodle123 wrote:

Chas v Shalom
The Gam says even evil Menashe who caused all of Israel to worship idols did tshuva in the end and was offered Olam HaBa
According to one opinion Yishmael did tshuva

imaima

Sun, Aug 07 2022, 2:27 am

noodle123 wrote:

Yes every Jew has a chelek be olam aba.

Even those who lose, it is only temporary.

Of course WHAT chelek will it be, it differs