Things I never thought I’d say until I had pets

SuperWify

Wed, Dec 22 2021, 11:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Things I never thought I’d say til I had kids inspired this post:

“No, you cannot go in the oven!”

“Tatty’s shoes are not a scratching post.”

“Uh-uh…you’re not allowed in the freezer!”

“Do NOT eat the seforim!”

“Stop eating paper! Receipts are not food!”

Add your own!

Haha. I have said all that. My (human) baby has done most of those. Chewing paper seems to be a new fad. Whenever I catch her she gives me a guilty smile.

mp5

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 1:12 am

"Your ear is inside out again"
"Nope, sorry sweety... he's right, he (as in my son) IS the favorite child."
"I don't have time for this... gotta wash/clean/make lunch/do laundry/work... (sigh), okay, okay, tummy rub right now!"

Chana Miriam S ↓

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 1:33 am

Stop eating my shoes.
Don’t eat your bed.
Rabbit murderer
Oh my goodness look at his butt wag! Not just his tail!
How did he get a candy apple stuck in his crotch? ( walking on shul block after Chanukah party.)

FranticFrummie ↓

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 2:12 am

Has anyone noticed that every single one of these can be applied to a toddler? LOL

Rule of thumb. Thumbs Up

If a 2yo will put it in their mouth, so will your pet.

To the kittens:😺😸
Ow! Don't bite your mama!
Quit stealing the straw out of my drink.
Get out of the cabinet, refrigerator, shower, box, etc.
Cute little psychos!

To the dog, as I'm leaving. "Be a good girl, guard the house!" 🐶
When I drop food on the floor. "Clean up!"
When I drop non-food on the floor. "Leave it!"
When she cleans the kittens and lets them climb all over her. "You're such a good mama dog!"

To the tortoises: Awww, you're so grumpy! 🐢🐢

It used to be that when an older woman lived alone, and was heard talking to her pets (familiars), she was burned as a witch! If I lived back then I'd be toast for sure.

singleagain ↓

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 7:43 am

I don't have a pet. But my friend has a cat. And when I'm on the phone with her the most often phrases that interrupt our conversation are "you're so naughty" but in a loving tone and "no honey it's not time to eat. I just fed you." Same loving tone

↑ FranticFrummie ↓

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 8:01 am

Just now, to the kitties: Where is my other sock? It was right here a minute ago. Which one of you stole it?

*both cats doing their best to look innocent*

Me, going to find a different pair of socks.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 8:08 am

To our dog:
your ear is inside out.
Are you eating your vomit again? (some dogs are really gross - but we love our dog, even that she is sometimes gross Smile

)
Its time to brush your teeth
Get off my bed/couch/pile of clean laundry
Stop eating the grass, lets keep walking
Getting our dog, almost 5 years ago, was the best thing we ever did for our family Smile

PS - I am LOOOOVING this thread Smile

amother

↑ DarkPurple

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 9:10 am

I forgot to add: "those are (dear dog's) garbage bags" - she decided to sit upon a club store box of trash bags as a booster seat to see out the car window on the way home, so now she has her own box that stays in her spot (now with a blankie on top). perfect weight to not tip, so I can't just remove the contents. if I need them for the house, I have to replace asap

↑ BH Yom Yom ↓

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 10:08 am

Snip:

singleagain wrote:

"no honey it's not time to eat. I just fed you." Same loving tone

Omg I say the same thing to one of my cats! She is obsessed with trying to eat people food even when she has her own food in her bowl.

amother

↑ White

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 10:20 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Agreed! They are cute! The best part of zoom meetings is seeing people’s pets.

I started my current job about two weeks before the pandemic and have only met my boss in person a handful of times. He’s basically only seen me with a cat crawling all over my lap/shoulders while I’m on the computer! But my coworkers don’t mind. And I love seeing their pets, too.

↑ BH Yom Yom ↓

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 10:23 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Awww!! Everything is either food or a toy, lol. Especially socks.

↑ BH Yom Yom ↓

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 10:23 am

amother [ DarkPurple ] wrote:

Love this idea! 🐶

↑ singleagain ↓

Thu, Dec 23 2021, 11:23 am

BH Yom Yom wrote:

Snip:

Omg I say the same thing to one of my cats! She is obsessed with trying to eat people food even when she has her own food in her bowl.

Apparently my friend's cat decides it's time to eat of people are in the kitchen. So they feed her then go into kitchen to make coffee and kitty is like. Kitchen food.!

yo'ma

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 9:25 am

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

My dog understands so much English, it’s amazing.

And ours don’t. Maybe that’s why when I tell them to get off of me and stop licking me, they don’t Banging head

SixOfWands wrote:

Stop licking the kitchen floor

Stop licking your

Hidden:

Scotty

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 10:02 am

STOP CHEWING THE LAUNDRY!
Stop chewing my phone case!
Stop chewing my contigo water bottle nozzle!
You may not fly into the challah dough!!

(He perches on my head whenever I make challah snd tries to creep into the dough when I’m not looking. We have to put him in his cage when we bake or we get feathers where they ought not to be.)

the world's best mom

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 10:10 am

I do not talk to our pets. But as a person who grew up being petrified of animals, it still amazes me every time I tell my son to feed his snakes or his hamster. And we've had our share of birds too. That's what happens when you marry an animal lover and your kid takes after him.