Funny things kids say.

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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cuties' mom

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:14 am

This past Tuesday during circle time, the teacher asked what day it is. When nobody answered, she said, "Yesterday was Monday. What day is today?" One kid called out, "I don't like days that start with T. I want it to be Friday instead."

amother

Seagreen

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:37 am

When my daughter was 4, she was playing in the other room with a friend and then came to me in the kitchen. She asked, "what is it again that boys have that girls don't have?"- Now, we are an all girl house, (except my husband) there are no brothers, so I am not sure where she is getting her information from. (Furthermore, when she was in a summer gan, the year before, the kids would leave the bathroom door open-she at one point told me that Ari, Daniel and Eli have special belly buttons that they pee out of, she thinks Morah Esti does too, but she doesn't pee in school so she doesn't really know.- Now, back to our story). I'm a little uncomfortable so I start feeling her out. What do you mean? I asked. She replies, you know, the thing Dovid had when I got to wear a fancy dress and eat cake -oh, you mean a Bar Mitzvah. She runs off, back to her friend all excited- "lets dress the poly pockets for a bar mitzvah!!!"

FranticFrummie ↓

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:48 am

When DD was 2, she brought me a plastic bag, with a small stuffed seal inside. She had a silly grin on her face.

It was a "Ziplock Seal"! Her very first pun. I was so proud. Very Happy

In first grade, she came home one day and told me she had learned all about "Martha Luffa King." (Martin Luther King) She also thought that African Americans had been slaves in Egypt with us.

I'm pretty sure she was only half listening that day. LOL

↑ FranticFrummie

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:51 am

Another one: When she was 3, we were eating Shabbos lunch at a friend's house. They had two boys who were much older than her, about high school age.

She looked at one of them and announced "You've got a lot of balls!"

Surprised

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. To his credit, the boy just stood there and waited to see where this was going.

Then she says "You have basket balls, and base balls, and tennis balls, and soccer balls... "

You would not believe the collective sigh of relief! Can't Believe It

*whew!*

little neshamala ↓

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:56 am

Israeli_C wrote:

*after I gave DD medicine for pinworms the day after Leil Seder, she called me over to her and whispered "The worms in my bottom are doing yetziat mitzrayim!"

↑ little neshamala

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:57 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

*whew!*

Oh my gosh oh my gosh LOL

amother

Tangerine

Fri, May 03 2019, 8:22 am

So yesterday my neighbor took my kid off the bus as I was still on my way back from my ob appointment. (Due in 2 weeks.)
There were lots of babies in the family recently. And she's the youngest. She's 4.

"Mammy, vee bsitee gevein?"
"Bei an appointment"
"Tzee dee dukter vee m'geboirt a baby?"
"Tzee an appointment vee mamas gayan"
"Velecha?"
"In a platz vus heist New Jersey"
"Nein! Velecha mentchen zenen durten bei dee appointment?"

("Mommy where were you?"
"At an appointment"
"To the doctor where you go to have babies?"
"To an appointment where mothers sometimes go"
"Which one?"
"It's on a place called NJ"
"No, who did you have the appointment WITH?")
Laugh

We haven't told them outright that were having a new addition. But around 2 monthsbago, we had this conversation that, if we would have a new baby where would you like to day when mommy is away?....

The other day, my 4 and 5 yo were discussing who has a bigger tunmy. Mommy or tatty....
TMI

amother

Yellow

Fri, May 03 2019, 8:57 am

The other day, my sister said to my 2 (and 2 months)-year-old son, "Let's go outside in the sun, it's good for you." He answered, "It gives me Vitamin D!" I have no idea who told him that, but I'm amazed he remembered!

Last edited by amother on Tue, Jul 09 2019, 5:34 am; edited 2 times in total

amother

Emerald

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:10 am

FF I'm

on the floor from the balls story!!! OMG! It is so hysterical!!! Rolling Laughter

amother

Magenta

Fri, May 03 2019, 12:20 pm

Anon because lots of people heard me say this story. My 2 year old said "tatty don't punch me!" As my husband was helping him to put on his bicycle helmet. He meant don't PINCH me. With the buckle under his chin.

dankbar

Fri, May 03 2019, 1:41 pm

My 3 yr old dgtr says she's a tzedeikasauce instead of saying tzedeikisel

amother

Jade ↓

Fri, May 03 2019, 1:45 pm

Yesterday I told my 4 year old to get his briefcase since it was right before his bus was coming.
He told me no.
I told him that you can't say no to mommy
He said he didn't want his yatzer harah to lie Laugh

↑ thunderstorm

Fri, May 03 2019, 1:53 pm

I love reading these posts!
A few days ago my 9 month old was acting hyper and silly and was very excited when my DS walked in the door from school. He comes running into the kitchen and said " Mommy, Rivky is having a 'nervous breakout'. She's laughing so much!"

(He meant to say nervous breakdown. He doesn't even know what it means)

amother

↑ Jade

Sun, May 05 2019, 7:45 pm

My son got a booboo so I old him to come to mommy for a kiss
So he said " kisses don't help it just makes me wet!!!

amother

Purple

Sun, May 05 2019, 7:49 pm

Today we were at a clothing store and my 4 yr old ds announced that the mannequin was going to have a baby. I asked him why he thought so, he pointed to her breasts!

amother

Lime

Fri, May 10 2019, 9:54 am

My 4 year old is currently singing, "Marbin, marbin, marbin nishtana."

I think he's getting his holidays mixed up.

amother

Vanilla ↓

Tue, Dec 28 2021, 4:12 pm

I'm remarried and my daughter says "I know what divorced means. It means your mommy switched husband's" lol.

Charny k

Tue, Dec 28 2021, 5:57 pm

We were getting ready to go to tashlich, on Rosh Hashanah. I told my kids to pack away the toys first. My ds ,age 4, refused! When I asked him why, he answered. “ I want to have more aveiras, to throw into the water!“ LOL