Daily Kindness E-mails

↑ Motek ↓

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 6:44 pm

I think his explanation for why he started it is absolutely incredible:

Coping With Tragedy -
Fighting Terror With Kindness

By Shmuel Greenbaum

Shmuel@TraditionOfKindness.org

Kindness has been my personal response to terror. My wife, Shoshana, was murdered by a suicide bomber. She was one of over 100 victims that were killed or injured on August 9, 2001 at the Sbarro restaurant in Jerusalem.

Sometimes I wonder whether telling my story can really help others. Since, the way I am coping with tragedy is so different than the norm, would anyone else understand it?

Many of the rabbis that came to visit me told me a story about a carpet. "Sometimes you only see the knots on the back," they said; "Only later do you see the beautiful design on the front." I thanked them for coming and explained that I see the beautiful design now. I see the "big picture."

I have always been interested in the "big picture" – in how to make the world better. Since I was a kid, I always liked to tackle these big problems by assembling a group of experts to solve them. As a teenager I designed a system to tap hydroelectric power from the wastewater of apartment buildings. I contacted a local engineering school and assembled a team of academicians to prepare the plan for the US Department of Energy.

After my wife’s violent murder, I began a project to teach people how to be kinder. The project has just started to take off. At the moment, we have more than 20,000 subscribers on six continents to our "Daily Dose of Kindness" e-mail. Everyone who signs up for this e-mail list is also automatically signed up as an advisor. As I said before, I like having many advisors. Right now, I have over 20,000 "Kindness advisors".

Last week, one of my Kindness advisors sent me an e-mail link to an article in the New York Times about how medical researches have found that acts of kindness stimulate the brain in the same place that physical pleasures do. So now medical researchers have shown that doing kindness causes enjoyment. From this you can see one way that I cope with tragedy – I receive tremendous pleasure by promoting kindness.

My favorite author on kindness is Zelig Pliskin. In his book Kindness, he presents eighty-five techniques to find new opportunities to do kindness by improving yourself and improving the world around you. In one chapter he explains how you can feel the thrill of an international sports victory every day if you visualize 100,000 people applauding for you and cheering you on when you do an act of kindness. Studies have shown that our hormonal system has actual biochemical responses even though the victory is totally a figment of our imagination.

Shortly after my wife’s death, I prayed with great intensity to G-d to help me to make the world better. From the feedback I am getting from my kindness projects, it is clear that my prayers are being answered and that I am helping to make the world a little kinder – one person at a time. This feeling of Divine assistance combined with the biochemical responses to my imagined victory has given me tremendous emotional strength.

Join Us!

Be a "Partner In Kindness."

Visit our websites:

http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org (Daily Jewish e-mail)

http://www.PartnersInKindness.org (Weekly Non-Sectarian e-mail)

If you would like to do a very easy, but powerful act of kindness, forward this e-mail to friends and relatives. If you know of any groups that are interested in having me speak, I don't charge a fee, other than travel from New York (if I am not already in the area).

↑ Motek

Wed, Nov 07 2007, 10:03 pm

I thought this one was special:

Quote:

My father was the Rabbi of a synagogue. He used to help me with my homework - he made time for me with all the many spiritual questions he received from congregants. Then he would send me upstairs from his study when we were done and say, "Tell Mommy you knew the Chumash (Pentateuch) very well."

When I was eleven, my father was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas. I was my mother's right hand through all of it, missing school to baby-sit my little sisters while my mother took my father for chemo treatments, etc. Five years after his diagnosis, he passed away, when I was sixteen. I was in 11th grade that year. I was out of school for about six weeks through the last of his illness when my mother "lived" in the hospital.

I came back to school and a few weeks later our teacher gave us an assignment in Chumash to look something up. I called my stepbrother to ask him to help me with this. He was not available to help me. I called two other men from my father's synagogue to ask them for help but they were not home. I was overwhelmed by the loss of my father and what he was to me in so many ways. I was determined to get this Chumash assignment done and not "disappoint" him.

Suddenly, I thought of exactly who to call! Whenever my father was too sick to answer questions form his congregants, he would tell us to call Rabbi C., the head of the rabbinical court of a nearby Hasidic community. I happened to have spoken to Rabbi C. during shiva (the week of mourning) for questions I had and was told to call whenever I needed anything. Well, now I needed something! So, I dialed Rabbi C. and spoke to him in Yiddish telling him I had this question for Chumash I needed help with. Rabbi C. asked me to hold while he got the Chumash from his book shelf. He then proceeded to go over the sentence with the translation in Yiddish with me. Then we read Maimonides commentary that my teacher had assigned to me to look up. He reviewed it to make sure I understood it. Then he wished me a good night and we hung up.

I use this story to tell my children that if they have a question, they can call anyone in their lives for help. Often we call a respected rabbi for a blessing or for a quick advice question. I tell my children that true people of stature are happy to help out no matter what the level of the question.