I am having such a hard time training my ds!!! HELP!!!

amother ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 8:17 am

I have been trying to train my son for ages and now he is almost 3. he did make in the potty a few times but he holds it for so long. About two weeks ago I was getting so nervous from him b/c he was holding it for so long and I wanted to go out that I think I drove him a little nuts and traumatized him. he hasn't made on the potty since. he would sit there all day and then just do it in the pamper at night. could anyone help me?! I think I need a hypnotist!!!

mummiedearest

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 8:26 am

talk to his doctor for recommendations. try to make a game out of it, give him stickers when he goes, have him pick out special underwear that he can wear only if he goes, etc. if you really need it, I hear there are professional potty trainers, though I don't know any personally. (what a fun job Rolling Eyes

) good luck.

Yitta

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 10:25 am

My longish story and advice....

When my oldest was 2.5 I went to the park and a woman was there and we started talking about if our kids were toilet trained. I said we were trying but not there yet. She said she had pushed her oldest and then gave up and just after 3 he seemed to get trained. She said that she just waited and for each of her kids they trained after 3. She had many kids so I went by her experience and just relaxed about it. Sure enough 3 yr 2 months he was trained and ready. For my second, I just waited and just after 3 he trained very easily almost on his own. And now the 3rd boy is almost 3 and he decided one day to go pee, then poo in the toilet and now he has trained himself( I'm so surprised). Of course, we scream and jump up and down every time he goes- exhausting.

Her bit of wisdom, allowed me to relax and not worry and it happened. Sometime a stranger can give good advice.

I'm not sure if any of this will help at the point your in with your son, but he may not be ready, every kid is different, but there is a lot of pressure to have our kids trained by a certain point.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 12:13 pm

That works up to a point. My first 3 all learnt how to use the potty withen a week at about 3 years old.

My son is now 3.5 and I've been training him since he was almost 3. We're still not there. Crying

He will do number 1 with great reluctance - usually has one or 2 accidents a day. Number 2, he point blank refuses to do on the potty or the toilet.

I am sooo fed up. Exploding anger

Would anyone like to adopt an extremely cute 3 year old? I will take him back as soon as he is potty trained!

Tamiri ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 12:55 pm

I have a cousin whose very bright and advanced daughter refused to be trained until well past the age of four. She is nearly 15 now and totally trained. No one (okay, just close family) remembers when she was trained, it doesn't matter.
DON'T SWEAT. The child will ultimately be trained, as long as he is "normal". I would stop any and all attempts RIGHT NOW and just get him back into a diaper for a while, then try again in a month or two. It's not something worth fighting over and if you look at the big picture: 3 or 4 or 5 years out of a human beings life is no big deal. So if you have him in diapers for that long, it's nothing compared to the rest of his life. Stop the stress, it's just not worth it. Relax and wait for it to come by itself. Toilet training should be NO BIG DEAL. I recently did it with son #5 and really had no clue how it would go. Initially, at around 2.5 it was not going so after a week I put the diaper back on and left it alone for a month, after which he was quite ready and I don't remember any issues in getting him out of a diaper and into underpants. It should be a smooth and pleasant transition. Also, no bribes. It's something he either does or doesn't do, not something worth bribing for. GOOD LUCK.

Bzgirl

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 1:00 pm

lol can I have him?!!! let him walk around naked....I don't think he'll luv that.

Yitta, thanks, that's good advice-for me too..my dd is 2 and 3 months and potty training is not on the top of her list either. I tried and tried but she seems to hold it in. I guess I'll wait around till shes 3, but d'ya think she'll train even if she doesnt have any older siblings to watch? I mean I guess so...since we all got trained didn't we lol

shlumzmum

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 1:02 pm

I started toilet training my son at 2 and 4 months, every day I undressed him for like an hour in order for him to understand the concept of making in the potty.
at 2 and a half he trained himself. he's 3 now, accidents stil happen but I'm glad he's trained. (also for the night B"H)

first of all you should be happy that he holds himself in and doesnt make accidents. once he is going t get used to the potty he will not have accidents if he can hold in

the idea about the stickers really worked by me. every time ds made in the potty he got one and we always counted all his stickers togehter loud, it made him look forward for the next one, I stopped doing it when he asked for the potty every 5 minutes cuz he wanted a sticker

I also bought a book for him about elmo using the potty and I only read it to him when he was on the potty. the book also had bottons that made sounds.

good luck !! don't worry everyone gets there!!!

chavamom

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 1:02 pm

I think you have to remember that just like walking and talking, you CANNOT force your child to "make in the potty" before they are ready. And this is one area in their life where they have control - so don't make it a battle. You really do have to turn this back over to your child and say "it's your choice. you can continue to make in a diaper or use the potty". If the child still wants diapers, you might as well go beat your head against a wall for all the success you'll have. Incentives do work sometimes, but only by giving them the internal motivation to want to use the toilet.

Hatzlacha. They aren't in diapers forever.

Mitzvahmom

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 2:17 pm

I was 2.5 and potty trained when my brother was born..

I saw him getting the diaper again and I wanted it too.. so my mother handed me a diaper and said if u want to wear one put it on yourself.. After a couple of failed attempts, underware was just easier..

Kids cannot be pushed into things, they have to want to...

Try cherrios in the toilet and tell him he has to try to pee on them (target practice).

mimivan ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 4:37 pm

If you are nervous about the getting-them-potty-trained-in-time-to-wear-tzitzit-issue, my Rav said a non-potty trained boy could say the beracha over the tzitzit in the morning and then take them off. I had them on the hanger as an incentive "so he could be like Abba" (my 1st, after 6 months of struggle, was only fully trained a few months after his upsherin)

If you feel he is traumatized, completely drop the issue for a few weeks. Then start again with prizes and incentives. A foolproof method, if all else fails, is to let your son go around naked for a few days and have a small potty in a room (since it is fall now, well, hope the house is warm)...I only did this after everything else failed and it worked.

I wouldn't do it, however, if you feel your son is currently turned off.
Don't worry about it. Yes, I did have criticism from family members, people in the neighborhood ("Why isn't he wearing tzitzit?? embarrassed

) but you iy'h will learn to filter what is helpful and what is not...if he is only trained at 3 or 3.5, that's not the end of the world. Wink

↑ mimivan

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 4:38 pm

Mitzvahmom wrote:

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 4:42 pm

it is normal for a three year old boy to not be piotty trained yet. some boys arent trained till a little bit after three. I think being nervous, and forcing a child to use the potty is the cause of this problem. hm.... I say be positivive, drop the potty idea for a few weeks and then start by being relaxed, loving, and patient.

goodluck

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 7:13 pm

Omit all sugar and give bits of candy or chips for each successive approximation towards peeing in the potty. Absolutely have the potty in the main room, so he doesn't have to run to it. Give him candy if he sits on the potty or makes near it at first. Then later on, give him candy if he makes something in the potty, then give him candy if the underwear is dry and so on. Also helps if you buy a toy or a book that he can only look at/play with if he is sitting on the potty.

yersp

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 7:26 pm

besides for the cheerios thing, my SIL used other incentives. She would tell my nephew lets go make the water green, she put in blue food coloring and blue and yellow makes GREEN!! or when that would get boring she'd tell him lets go make some bubbles in the toilet!! so far this has worked the best!

Tefila ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 9:28 pm

I'll telll u each of my kids was another parsha in the toilet training process.
Whereas my first three was at 2 and a bit, with a nervous wreck of a mother.
The rest were at three years and took them only two days, cold turkey, with a more relaxed mother.

So u decide if it's worth it.

one saying that does hold true is that no healthy child ever went under the chupah in diapers Wink

su7kids ↓

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 10:06 pm

mimivan wrote:

Mitzvahmom wrote:

Try cherrios in the toilet and tell him he has to try to pee on them (target practice).

I know you're finding this funny, but it is a very common thing here. In fact, there are some baby catalogs where you can buy actual targets to put in the back of your toilet.

It really works. Keeps the pee off the walls!!

↑ su7kids

Thu, Oct 11 2007, 10:11 pm

As a mother of 7 children who all use the toilet on their own now (the youngest is 16, almost) I can say I have had a wide variety of experiences.

One of my children was trained in Gan at the age of 2 and had accidents until that child was about 12 or 13.

Most of the others were closer to 3, and I just kept "cool" about it. Just reminded them what they were doing and where it belonged.

I have one who was about 2 months before his 4th birthday. He just wasn't interested and I wasn't interested in fighting in the slightest.

Eventually, I heard him say he wants real tools. So we went to Toys R Us and I had him tell me which ones he wanted (remember, he was nearly 4, you can't do this with a child MUCh younger). So I told him, we're leaving them here in the store and as soon as you're out of diapers, they're yours.

We went to the underwear section, and I bought a 3-pack of underpants.

The first pair, he pee'd in. I said, "Do you remember waht that felt like before it came out?" he said "Yes". I said, "well, next time, do it in the toilet." OK. and that was that.

The 2nd pair, he BMd in, and we went through the same routine.

By the 3rd pair, he was clean and dry and I gave him another 2 days and then we went and bought the tools. He's 18 now and he still has some of them!!!

The only child I ever had to deal with "accidents" with, was the one who was trained at 2. The "3's and the 4" NEVER had accidents once they were done.

Bottom line: DON'T SWEAT IT, and tell him what you expect of him, and encourage when it happens, and that's IT.

↑ Tefila

Fri, Oct 12 2007, 4:57 pm

Quote:

Try cherrios in the toilet and tell him he has to try to pee on them (target practice).

Sorry to put a damper on things here.
1. But since when does food belong in a bathroom shock

2. Also are we not sending the child the wrong message if u can put cheerios in why can he not. Scratching Head

3. Personally I find it not very aidel the idea to begin w/h Sad

but perhaps it's just me Confused