Does anybody have experience with Beit Din?

amother ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 12:43 pm

I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong section, I wasn't sure where it should go.

I need to take someone before a Beit Din. I've never done it and don't know how it works. I'd love to hear if anyone has had any experience with it, and can explain the process.

Thanks in advance.

southernbubby ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 12:48 pm

Both sides need a representative that will take a percentage of the amount settled upon. Then both sides need to agree as to the bais din that they will have hear and settle the case. The representative is like a lawyer that is familiar with the ins and outs of the halacha and can argue on that basis. If you decide not to have a representative it is like going to a civil court without an attorney.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 12:52 pm

This frightens me. The man I'll be taking to the Beit Din is a very difficult person, and I have a feeling he'll refuse to let my local one (he lives in another area) hear the case. I have a feeling he'll just make things as complicated as possible.

As far as a representative, how do I go about finding one? Is it a Rav who has Beit Din experience? Do I ask a Rav if he can help, or if he can find me someone who can?

Thank you -

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 1:03 pm

I have one more question, and it's a kind of delicate one. The man that I'd be calling before the Beit Din is very, very frum. I'd be considered more Modern Orthodox. Will this be held against me? I know it's supposed to be fair, but is there a chance that, because of the difference between us, I won't be trusted as much there?

rainbow ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 1:23 pm

Best of luck. Take along a tiny voice recorder so you can play back at your leisure. Beware of corruption and injustice. Don't say you weren't warned.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 1:57 pm

Would such a recorder be allowed, or would I have to hide it? Is that legal? Have you had a negative experience at one?

Okay, I'm scared, but I still have to do it.

MyKidsRQte

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 2:17 pm

The only experience Ive had with a Beis Din was for my GET.

I definitely agree with Rainbow about a recorder. Make sure it is hidden. Its inadmissible in court, but there are usually ways around it.

Ruchel ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 3:18 pm

Show you're confident. Don't let them mistreat you. Be tzanua, not too much make up, cover your hair a bit if you generally don't. Know what you are talking about, know your rights and show it.

It is possible not to have a representative, my father did it once, but you have to be extremely ready and confident - even my father would not advise you to do it unless you have a very precise type of personality and you know enough about the topic. If you are cut for it you probably already know it. It will be even more difficult for a woman though.

↑ southernbubby

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 4:20 pm

The representative needs to be knowledgable, other than that I don't know. I never went to a din Torah.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 5:07 pm

Thank you all for your help. I'm going to try now to find a representative to help me. Dressing modestly is not a problem, I will wear a hat and I rarely wear makeup, so I think I'll do okay there. And I do have one of those little tape recorders.

Your advice is much appreciated.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 8:42 pm

A rav once told my father, "Honest people go to court, Crooks go to bet din"

Sadly very few are bet din tzedek.....Our family has been burnt by Bet din on more then one occasion.

happyone

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 8:52 pm

amother wrote:

A rav once told my father, "Honest people go to court, Crooks go to bet din"
.

what a horrible thing to say. I wonder what kind of rav you are referring to. Yidden should definately make every attempt to go through bais din

amother wrote:

Sadly very few are bet din tzedek.....Our family has been burnt by Bet din on more then one occasion.

If you have been burnt "more than once by bais din" I wonder...

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 12:38 am

We have had a few very bad & unjust situations with beis din.
A lawyer/rav we know always tells his clients to bring a non jewish lawyer with them to bies din. He said they behave by protocol & propriety that way. He is not the only frum lawyer that we know who does this. I actualy had an ok connection with a beis din. It was business related & was clear cut law.I told the rav that I will not show up to a beis din because he didn't check the civil law,& I was etitled to double teh$ that she wanted from me. Well the rav must have checked with a lawyer b/c he called to say forget it.

↑ rainbow

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 12:50 am

I kept a tiny recorder in my purse and it picked up the entire conversation. Don't take a regular tape recorder.
Get a digital voice recorder.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 1:19 am

I am the poster whose family has been burnt.

No, we are not bad people. Beis din can be (and on a regular basis are) bribed. The rav who made the comment is a big Rav in our city, although he told my father that if he ever said it over in his name he would deny it.

In an idealistic world, Jews should go to beis din. In the real world, it doesn't always work that way.

BH, you have not had the awful experiences we have. because if you did you would never suggest what you did.

faigie

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 6:28 pm

No, we are not bad people. Beis din can be (and on a regular basis are) bribed.
---------that is so horrific on so many levels that I am floored.
I can not even imagine the onesh waiting for such a person in gehenom.

↑ Ruchel

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 6:41 pm

faigie wrote:

Yes.
I'm also disgusted by paid conversions. I know they exist Sad

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 7:09 pm

OP again here, and I really appreciate the honesty of everyone's responses. I know it's hard to face the fact that a religious court's integrity could be compromised, but it's obviously a reality in some cases.

For those that advised hiding a tape recorder in my purse, what is the use? What would my recourse be if I was unsatisfied with the proceedings? This isn't a divorce case or anything, so I'm not sure that I could fight the decision even if I suspected some corruption or unfairness.

And as far as bringing a non-Jewish lawyer, is that kind of as a witness to the proceedings, and not as my representative?

This is so daunting.