got a present from a failing student

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Forum -> Working Women -> Teachers' Room

Got a present from a failing student

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ruth ↓

Mon, Jun 25 2007, 2:43 am

I haven't turned in final grades. However I have returned finals. The parents of one student who deserves a "fail" sent me a gift card in the mail. The father also brought misloach manot to my home.

I don't know how they got my address (but that is not my issue.)

I've sent letters home requesting to speak with them about their daughter's desruptive behavior and poor grades. They never responded to my letters.

I feel like I'm being bribed. I want to tell the menahel/menahelet...? Should I return the gift or what?

su7kids

Mon, Jun 25 2007, 3:41 am

Don't return the gift and don't cave in.

Be strong. You're entitled to the gift as you still did work hard with the child.

Don't think you're being bribed, think how sad it is that the child has parents who don't come to the teacher when called.

Now do you understand why she is the way she is? How sad for her.

HooRYou

Mon, Jun 25 2007, 4:20 am

I think you should speak with the hanhala, not because you are being bribed but because you think the parents should be notified and more involved. Its one thing to ignore your child's teacher (disgusting nonetheless) but another if you are called in by the hanhala and you ignore it,.

chocolate moose

Mon, Jun 25 2007, 11:17 am

Maybe the parents respect your hard work. Maybe the kid really does like you, but has failings.

We all do.

Enjoy the gift!

greenfire

Mon, Jun 25 2007, 11:20 am

maybe the parents are just saying "thank you for everything" like they know she's a hard kid ... why does it have to be a bad thing ... say thank you and don't do anything different ...

aussiegal

Mon, Jun 25 2007, 1:42 pm

are u sure the parents ever got those letters u sent home with the daughter? maybe she was embarrassed and threw them out without showing her parents?

↑ ruth

Mon, Jun 25 2007, 6:06 pm

thanks for the replies. As a first year teacher, its hard for me to give the low grades .... albeit the grades the students earned. I always blame myself for the students' failure. (That's for another thread, though.)

to aussiegal: they did respond to one letter, but the father didn't show up to the meeting he scheduled.

Lechatchila Ariber

Mon, Jun 25 2007, 7:32 pm

Ruth, wouldn't a phone call be in order?

morningstar

Tue, Jun 26 2007, 3:18 pm

Without making assumptions about the parent's intent in giving you the gift card, if you feel that accepting gifts makes it harder for you to deal objectively with you your students, you should make it a rule not to accept personal gifts.

This has nothing to do with whether you "deserve" to be paid more or not.
Your first responsibility is to be able to deal with students fairly and objectively, and to live according to a standard of ethics that puts you beyond suspicion.

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